February….Love, Valentine and Moi! #2

What is love to you?

As Valentine day comes closer….with gift of affection hopefully given (if not buy or make a show of affection for yourself).

I love, love….I love to be in love … and to be loved…

Love for me is an act of worship…

With different relationships,  the different types and kinds of love can be expressed.

As for moi…

Love is like a diamond, with every new angle a new aspect of it’s beauty is revealed…. Just Like God… Mercyful, kindness, forgiven, faithful, loving, trusting and the list goes on… ( fill free to fill the gap)

so I ask … what is love to you?

PS: guess who celebrates her birthday in the month of February.. in 15days time

PPS: Funmi aka Fumosh’s b’day is 2morrow (1st) so show her some love and go to her blog and wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! fumosh.wordpress.com 

February….Love, Valentine and Moi!

Ok guys… We are going to be talking about my favourite topic Love, as we go into the month of February, the season( yes! season, cos it should not just be aday) of Valentine is not too far, I love the month February for another special reason… it’s my birthday month too  :)  Yes ! The 16th of February “18yrs ago” (yeah! right!…in my dreams, so please let me dream) an angel was born :)  moi …..and so for these reason I’ll hopefully be having contributions of love poems or poems about love from my blog family and loved ones all on my other blogsite at www.refinedonelyrics.wordpress.com  (so check it out) to celebrate this special month.

PS: did I say it was my brithday month too…(wink, wink)

An act of love… 
We have established that Love is not just about feelings…there are many degrees of Love, but the best kind is the Love of God… unconditional.

What way can we show love?
It’s be said … love is kind, so I ask what is kindness?  Is it just being nice, the act of kindness is a show of love … i.e. simple things like saying your please and thank you’s. To acknowledge and show gratitude that is love.
To remember to thank your parents for giving you life… for nurturing you, educating you, and generally looking out for you … (whether you believe they did a good job or not)
To remember to say thank you when a meal is placed before you or something nice is done for you or to you…
Every time you don’t loose your temper and controlled your self… That was an act of kindness, just being polite is also an act of kindness. We perform acts of kindness with out even knowing it…that is why I don’t appreciate cursing or swearing … it’s just rude and show a lack of care to another, it’s not polite and personally it just shows a lack of manners. I don’t think it’d fashionable or “cool” it would be “cool” to expand your vocabulary and find another word to express yourself….. Anyway back to Love being the key

I believe the best show of your faith is all about how much love  you show (you can not hind or fake it).
A true follower of Christ is not just  one that goes to church 3 to 4 times a week including Sundays, can quote every passage of the bible blindfolded, speak in tongues or heals the sick…all that is good, but how friendly are you with you next door neighbour that’s of another  faith, when last did you go out of you way to drop a brother  or sister after service or when last did you go and do the weekly food shopping for that single mother that lives down the road or mentor /befriend that youngman or woman so you could impact another life…. These to me are act of kindness, and and reminds me love is kind…

AS WHITE AS SNOW…

 

 

Ok! guys where do I start?  …. I guess from the beginning (some smarty-pants would respond)
 Didn’t intend to write this, so I guess thats the best kind of post to put up. Hubby had to travel on a business trip so I was sort of awake as he was getting ready, once he left I thought I  would get back to sleep…but some how I couldn’t.  I tossed and turned for a bit…with things I shouldn’t be thinking about racing through my mind..( worries that I should have left on the altar for God to deal with)  thoughts of where I had fallen short or missed the mark…..So I decided to get up and make myself a hot drink, then maybe I’ll feel sleepy again…but low and behold what do I see as I looked out my window, but snow! the first fall this winter…the whole landscape covered in a bed of delicate clean white fluff…how beautiful it all looked, even the garbage cans too looked beautiful in the blanket of white snow, I could see the footprints of an animal (most probably a fox, cos no dog owner would let the pet out this early) as I stood looking out the window watching fresh snow fall (O! what a sight to see) I could just hear God say… “Angela that is how I see you…regardless of your short comings, your flaws or mistakes …. I choose to cover you in a sea of white…and make you all anew”.  At that point my heart became filled with gratitude… I felt so thankful…for my life, love, my family, my health, my brothers, sister, friends old and new and most of all the mercy of God’s grace…. for  He has chosen to cover me and has made me as white as snow….

My Milestones…My Joy…

By Opeyemi Fadipe.

I do not believe in reincarnation like some do but if reincarnation happens to be a reality then my cycle will be woman, woman, and woman all the way. For so many women the popular belief is that it is a man’s world. I hear such women say that given the chance to relive they will rather come as men. I do not blame them as these women have several reasons behind their opinion. But then I find it ridiculous to believe. Why on earth will a woman want to be a man? I still have not found a single reasonable reason to think that way.
Personally I have no regrets being a woman.
Womanhood is a covered calabash which when opened emits radiance, joy, happiness, fun, laughter and a lot of hope.
For a lot of women, womanhood would have been so beautiful had the natural occurrences been absent. I once heard my younger sister say, ‘how I wish I do not menstruate’ forgetting that it is a sign that someday life will germinate in that same stomach.
Contrary to popular feminine opinion, I believe women will appreciate their lives, milestones and enjoy womanhood much better when we begin to savor the honey at the core of our seemingly painful milestones. We need to relish the joys, pleasures that lie deep in our challenges. Of a truth, our challenges far outweigh those of our mothers and grandmothers but God has so endowed us with joys that do not fade as the years go. The joys and happiness that lie deep within our challenges are not ephemeral. They are such that we remember so many years afterwards and we still smile heartily.
Can you remember the day as a baby your ear was pierced? Possibly not but I believe if babies could talk you would have told the next baby boy to you how lucky he was not to be a girl. But here you are today adorning yourself with lots of beautiful jewelry in that same hole that was created painfully. That imaginary baby boy friend of yours could today probably be among those guys who want to put on earrings to look trendy.
I am quite sure you have not forgotten those days when your nanny or hairdresser would force your head into her laps to plait your hair. Most of us never liked those women but we turn our heads several times to see whose looking at our hairstyles.
Sometimes at the age of twelve, I discovered I had some pains on two particular spots in my chest. It was so painful that I did not hesitate to tell my mum it must be cancer. You can imagine how she laughed and like most Yoruba women told me those two thins will eventually send me out of my father’s house. Today it’s a reality; I am out of my father’s house living happily with my own man. Those two growths accentuated my figure so much that the opposite sex could not resist me. It contributed to my beautiful body framework.
Early one morning I woke up restless, feeling different, vomiting and running high temperature. I felt I was not myself anymore. It became so uncomfortable and I found myself in front of a doctor’s desk, only to be told that I have a new life growing inside of me. Is it how it begins?
Several months passed and I still feel I am not my original self, tummy bulges; appetite becomes wild and one day a terrible pain sets in that makes me feel I was going to die. I screamed and shouted and groaned and did all sort. For hours the pain persisted and then minutes later I heard the cry of a baby. The life that began to grow forty weeks ago had finally become a complete human being coming out of this stomach of mine???? It’s simply incredible.
The children grow and become matured boys and girls and then one day my daughters come home with one his friends as usual. This time they relate so closely I got uncomfortable and then my daughter opened that same small mouth she used to cry when I brought her to this planet to tell me, Mummy, this is the man I want to marry!! She seems so excited about it but it was so painful to me. Does it mean this girl doesn’t enjoy my company any longer or don’t I care enough? All questions, no answers and then the great day came. We gave our daughter out in marriage and every other woman glared at me in envy. Some couldn’t hide it. ‘Aren’t you a lucky mother?’ they asked.
That evening I flashed back at my life from the beginning at least from when I could remember and I found out it has always taught me a lesson: In the life of every woman there is no gain without a pain. Just as it happens in our natural milestones, our experiences generally teach this same lesson.
We should learn not to shy from challenges rather face them. We should learn to take the bull by the horns, take hold of every opportunity and make the best of it. We should bear in mind at all times that at the end of every tunnel in our lives; there is a bright ray of light.
One more thing to be remembered, gold in its raw state is unattractive but after each round of treatment in the fire (not in an air conditioner) it shines better and better and better……
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO SHINE AGAINST ALL ODDS!!!!!!

www.womanconnect.blogspot.com.
www.train4fortunes.com/femmelounge

Love vs Feeling…

 Love is demonstrative, it’s active, because we have been and are loved by God.
It did not say you love because you feel like only.  or love only those that deserve your love, but love without expecting anything in return. By the way Love has been described as a human experience that is manifested in feelings be it in behaviour, emotion or attitude to others in relationship or of one’s self.
The bible says Love is an attitude and action that is not determined by feelings or positive response from others deserving or undeserving. We can’t talk about Love and not quote 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
 
 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.
 
  Love is more than a feeling!
 
That can only be possible if you operate in God’s kind of love(Agape). The other kinds of love are a lot more based on Feelings, a more self centred love-sexual desire and physical craving, Erotic love (Eros).  Affections in a loving concern to a friend, brotherly- love (Phileos)

When we realize that the best, safest  kind of love is the God kind, not one base on feeling, cos feelings are changeable, unstable and can’t be truly trusted. They have the ability of distorting the truth.
Feelings are good indictors of Love, but still that can be tested…..
lets look at marriage which is made up of two people committed to one another in Love not feelings…..Marriage is not sustained by just the feelings you get in the earlier days of courtship, when your man/woman walks in to a room or you think about them….. :)  Remember when you were dating, and your partner could not upset, cos you felt so happy! looking in to there eyes and dreaming of a future with them forever…when he picks from your food at dinner you thought it was oh! so cute  …but couple of year into marriage that same thing you found cute now irritated you so!…

Well feelings will not keep you married for long, cos you are guaranteed to have bumps along the way … In fact you will feel hate for your partner at some time in the journey of  your marriage.
So what holds a marriage and keeps it strong during the times of shaking? …. but a vow, a commitment, a decision.
Love is not optional….Feelings are…Love is foundation, a corner stone nothing can be built without it….Feeling are ever changing.

 So what do you pick??
 

Single but not alone!

What does it mean to be single?  (To be separate, unique and whole)
The Bible says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wow! God took his time to create me. There can be only one “me” I am one of a kind.
Even Identical twins, who my look alike still have things that they will differ on, No two fingerprints are the same. No two experiences are the same, that’s what makes me who I am.
When I stand before God, He sees me, a separate individual whether I am married or not.
Many single people are in a hurry to be married and see there singleness as a negative state, especial after a particular age (dare I say). They feel they would be complete once they are married (as if marriage validates you as a person)
When you enter marriage as your salvation to wholeness and believe your spouse will Complete you or make you secure in yourself…you put pressure on the spouse and you being the end of the marriage.
If you are not comfortable with your individuality, I am sorry to say you are not ready to be married.

When last did you date yourself?
That sound funny but just think about it?
Do you need people to validate you all the time?  Do you need other people to motivate you to enjoy yourself?
Can you sit in a restaurant or coffee bar by yourself and still feel comfortable?
When last did you look in the mirror and just say to the reflection Man! Or Lady! You are “too fine”, “you are all that a bag of chips”. What I’m trying to say is pay yourself  complements. (Once you know you are fine, any other complement is purely an addition to what you know about yourself) The power of your self esteem should be in your hands.
If you disrespect or have a poor image of yourself, you will only course people to treat you that way…So love yourself even with all its flaws. Remember you are unique and anyhow, don’t you know confidence is sexy!
 
What does alone mean? (Isolated or secluded) 
A single person that is content and whole dose not needs to be alone, cos that is how you can get isolated. Instead make friends and enjoy there company, but find the balance and not get dependent on having people around you all the time, that is how you could end up in an unhealthy relationship that allow other people take advantage of you, because they know you depend on there presence.
Let God be the lover of you soul, your companion and friend in the times loneliness…Enjoy your singleness, develop your self find out what makes you tick, what you like and not like and let you Life partner meet you along the way of discovering “you” in the relationship with your heavenly Father.
Partners, be it male or female are to do nothing but complement you and not complete you….remember you are WHOLE!
 They are to be nothing more than help that is suitable and fit (help-meet)
Allow God present your partner to you.
Be friends first. That is the foundation to a good marriage, someone you can laugh freely with, someone you can be yourself and not feel you have to watch yourself or feel like your walking on egg shells around.
God has given us free will to chose, so when you are presented by the one, you still have the choice to choose…God will not make you do anything.

Even Adam had a choice to reject Eve when God presented her. I don’t see anywhere (please correct me if I am wrong) in the Bible where God told Adam meet your wife! (He identified her)
I personally use to believe the “only one person for me” syndrome, when you see him my heart will stop skip a beat and all that romance novels stuff…One Mr/Miss Right, but NO! There are many “right” people who will be presented to you….How you choose to develop and establish the relationship is all yours!
Please don’t get over spiritual about it (many marriages have been broken that either partners or one said” God told me you’re my wife/husband”) apply common sense with spiritual maturity before you say “I DO”
Begin please by enjoying your singleness and individuality, let that complement your relationship with others around you, be it friend or family

The Dash or Your Life ?

I came across this poem on the net a couple of weeks ago, it had such an impact on me, cos It’s talking about what I have recently become sensitive to, Why are we here? What are we here to do? This life has to have a purpose….

We are on earth for a moment ( a dash ) . We are travellers through this world, who we really are, our destination and resting place is in eternity. Death is but a transition, and what you do in the DASH is valuable currency in eternity…

 So, we should not just enjoy this poem but reflect on our DASH in this life.

  Author: Linda Ellis 

 I read of a man who stood to speak
  at the funeral of a friend
  He referred to the dates on her tombstone
  from the beginning to the end  He noted that first came her date of her birth
  and spoke the following date with tears,
  But he said what mattered most of all
  was the dash between those years  For that dash represents all the time
  that she spent alive on earth.
  And now only those who loved her
  Know what that little line is worth.  For it matters not how much we own;
  the cars, the house, the cash,
  what matters is how we live and love
  and how we spend our dash.  So think about this long and hard.
  Are there things you’d like to change?
  For you never know how much time is left,
  that can still be rearranged.  If we could just slow down enough
  to consider what’s true and real
  and always try to understand
  the way other people feel.  And be less quick to anger,
  and show appreciation more
  and love the people in our lives
  like we’ve never loved before.  If we treat each other with respect,
  and more often wear a smile
  Remembering that this special dash
  Might only last a little while.  So, when your eulogy is being read
  with your life’s actions to rehash
  would you be proud of the things they say
  about how you spent your dash?

Check out  www.refinedonelyrics.wordpress.com

“U arrive when u get to Heaven”

 Sister-Friend Alidee in the House… 

It’s that time of the year when you’re returning back to work, school or wherever it might be.

The question that everyone asks is how was your Christmas? That is after they have wished you Happy New Year.

Whatever season you’re in, my question to you is have you arrived?

I was having a conversation with a friend recently and we were discussing individual’s perception about when they have arrived in life.

Some people consider being married as arriving in life; some people think because they have all the material wealth in life that they have arrived and the list goes on.

Well I have had a new revelation and that revelation is we arrive when we get to heaven and completed our earthly purpose.

This year I decided to do something different for Christmas. I spent my Christmas holidays doing voluntary work with an organisation called CRISIS.

CRISIS provides shelter for homeless people during the Christmas period. This year the shelter opened it doors on the Saturday 23rd of December to Saturday 30th December. During the period they provided homeless people with food, shelter, clothing, medical care, dentist, counselling, library facilities, Internet access, housing referral, career opportunities, chiropody, hairdressing and entertainment.

Well I must say it was an eye opener for me. When we think about homeless people most of us think about the person who’s on the streets because of such things as drugs, alcohol and mental issues.

Well it’s amazing some of the stories that you hear.  I can now tell you that the above is just some of the reasons why people are homeless.

I looked around and to my amazement there were people who we would pass on the streets and never think they were homeless who were staying in the shelter. Even some of your colleagues who may be sitting next to you in the office are sleeping rough at nights. People from varying backgrounds, classes and ages resided at the shelter for the week.

There were people in the shelter up to about six months ago had all the material wealth such as houses, cars, 2.4 children, qualifications, earning in the high income bracket, you know the things we use to measure success.

But guess what things happened and their circumstances changed. A percentage of some of these people lost everything and they ended up in a homeless shelter alone with nothing to their name except a few items of clothing.

One of the guys said at least he’s still alive and because he’s still got life he has hope. He’s actually planning to get his life back on track and come back next year as a volunteer.
Some of the people that I spoke to said if anyone had said to them a year ago that they would be spending Christmas in a homeless shelter their response would have probably been no.

So where did they go wrong?

Did they become proud, did they become boastful, did they become arrogant, did they become selfish, what happened? To be quite honest I do not want to be judge or juror of their case. But just to remind myself and also to remind others that it’s a fine line.

So have you arrived?

“It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.
Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
So let’s just humble ourselves, give thanks continuously remember he gives grace to the humble“ Ephesians 2: 6-8

Author: Alicia Camile Douglas.

“ CHRISTMAS, the REASON for the SEASON is out of the mess of the first Christmas is the massage of LOVE, LIFE and HOPE”

….2007 Happy New Year! or is it?

My Daughter said something to me this morning…She asked “mom if it is a New Year why does it not feel any different”

The calendar says it is …at least the Gregorian calendar which is widely used….
Now why am I going on about calendars, my daughter like a whole lot us think that at Midnight of Dec 31st a New Year beginnings…well it does according to the Calendar, which I don’t have a problem with, but it’s the feeling of something New is about or should  happen is what I’ll like us to reflect on. If it is a New Year why does it not feel any different….

The Difference should not necessary be the the fact that it is a  New Year…but the continuation of a season. Those that are close to me know, my season started in Step Of 2006 and is continuing in 2007. What was conceived and birth in 2006 is being nurtured and cultivated in 2007 and in this same year there will be more birthings too…

We should try not to get caught up in the NEW YEAR syndrome which puts pressure on ourselves. We all go about making New Year resolutions which, without a doubt would be broken before the month is over that is  if it has not been  broken by the 2nd!   already. Let it be a continuation of a season instead.

 

What is this season thing you say?

Well I can only speak for myself and say my season began with a realisation of who’s I am and what I am here for…A realisation that I am no accident or evolution but a creation with purpose.

 

What is your season?

 

Is it the season to find out what your true source is?
Is it the season to relinquish self doubt?
Is it the season to reclaim the truth about you?
Is it the season to celebrate YOU!

 

If I was ever going to make a New Years resolution it would be to find out all the manufacture of me, has to say about me, in His Manufactures Manuel…

 

What was the reason for my creation?
What are His thoughts about me?
What are the functions He has put in me
What is my particular use…? (Where and to whom was my creation for?)

 

For when I am whole and complete I can be effective and affective.

SO WHAT IS YOUR SEASON?

 

“The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder…a waif, a nothing, a no man.”  Thomas Carlyle.