When is enough, enough…. (She’s back!)

When is enough, enough…? {She’s back!}

Hi people, its been too long, but hey I’m back ( don’t know how long for) with a bang, I hope  growing, changing maturing in life’s challenges moving from black and white to understanding shades of gray or at least acknowledging there are shades.

I will be doing a series of issues that I have a passion for but have talking about on this blog, but feel its time to now. As always the purpose is to bring to the light what is in the dark, for that is the only way deliverance can first start. When you know that what ever issue you have is not new and many others have or are going through the same thing reduces the intensity of the challenge.

In this series we’ll all reason together for I don’t claim to have the answers but when we talk, share together in truth and a clear honest and open mind keeping it real all the way, we learn.

Reality 1:

After  nearly 20yrs of marriage Linda walked out, this is a lady we all look at her marriage and family and marveled , her beautiful children her husband who always had nothing but praise for his wife, so understandably we were shock and sad about it.

some said she should not have given up and that divorce was the easy option, some sad there is nothing that God could not do so why break the home, some said she was selfish and that it would miss up the kids, some said what ever it was could she not bear it and wait till the children where older?… and many more was said to her and around her ,and for sometime Linda was not seen from all for a while, but come this faithful summer afternoon in walked Linda on her “ladies that lunch” meeting visibly upset with a teary eyes yet clam. As she walked in and stood before the ladies she said “when is enough, enough! I was faithful and devoted for all the years I was married, supported my husband in his dreams, counted pennies with him, did not put pressure on him was not demanding. I was not perfect but was willing to grow together in love. I stayed at home and raised our children and manage the home, all by choice, to give the very best of me, that was my contribution to the stability of our home. I cooked and cleaned for him, out of love not duty but as an expression of my love for him. What you all did not know was how I had to survive for years with a man that phonghapy was his other love, do you know how that could affect ones self esteem as a wife and have no one to talk to about it, cos of the shame and embarrassment attached to it and even a sense of protecting him and the family, not wanting to talk about our problems and keep the façade of a perfect family and always hoping that things will change and get better someday

. Do you know how many fights we had cos I asked him to stop, all he would say is” it was just pictures that is means nothing” but I knew once he started looking that this the next thing would be to act on it…Do know how a woman feel when she know and have even walked in on him looking at other naked women having sex, does that not count as adultery in his mind I ask you? That not enough, his drinking under when his stressed and then physical abuse… do you know what it feels like for the man that says he loves you one minute to be hitting on you the next do you know how demoralizing that could be? …and for this to happening for years…When I think of it I should have left the first day he slapped me for no good reason. Remember my daughters first birthday when I had the black eye and I told you all I fell…. Well now you know it was no fall.

When is enough, enough? When his sleeping around with not one, two or more different women…is it till I am infected with HIV then I could be released for this contract? Is the contract not broken the minute he had slept with another that was not his wife?  To top this I got no support for my dreams like how I had stood by his. My dreams were nothing but “little hobbies” to keep me occupied not a career that required time and energy to concentrate and develop, he did not but expected a housewife for ever (which was for a season)

When is enough, enough? After he had fathered a child outside of our marriage(and that’s the one I got to find out, what about the ones I don’t know or would never know)… I had had enough my ladies; to you I should pray and ask God for help… I did and still do, but first I need to accept and identify what was wrong and break out of a mind of denial, shame and hopelessness, I am fighting now for my mind and sanity … I am sure we had many a good time, but now I can not remember I can not let depression step in to my life anymore for year I have battled with that, to the point when death stated looking attractive, No more! My life is worth more than his wife or there mother, there is more to me even if you want to call me selfish maybe its time to think about myself, just maybe…

As she carefully wiped her eyes and picked up her bag and calmly walked out of the restaurant with a stride I had never seen her in before, some would call it a swagger.

…so when is enough, enough?

Keeping it real let the conversation begin.

Hi people, its been too long, but hey I’m back ( don’t know how long for) with a bang, I hope growing, changing maturing in life’s challenges moving from black and white to understanding shades of gray or at least acknowledging there are shades.

I will be doing a series of issues that I have a passion for but have talking about on this blog, but feel its time to now. As always the purpose is to bring to the light what is in the dark, for that is the only way deliverance can first start. When you know that what ever issue you have is not new and many others have or are going through the same thing reduces the intensity of the challenge.

In this series we’ll all reason together for I don’t claim to have the answers but when we talk, share together in truth and a clear honest and open mind keeping it real all the way, we learn.

Reality 1:

After  nearly 20yrs of marriage Linda walked out, this is a lady we all looked at her marriage and family and marveled. Her beautiful children her husband who always had nothing but praise for his wife, so understandably we were shocked and sad about it.

Some said she should not have given up and that divorce was the easy option, some sad there is nothing that God could not do so why break the home, some said she was selfish and that it would miss up the kids, some said what ever it was;could she not bear it and wait till the children where older?… and many more was said to her and around her. For sometime Linda was not seen by all for a while, but come this faithful summer afternoon in walked Linda on her “ladies that lunch” meeting visibly upset with a teary eyes yet clam. As she walked in and stood before the ladies and said “when is enough, enough! I was faithful and devoted for all the years I was married, supported my husband in his dreams, counted pennies with him, did not put pressure on him was not demanding. I was not perfect but was willing to grow together in love. I stayed at home and raised our children and manage the home, all by choice, to give the very best of me, that was my contribution to the stability of our home. I cooked and cleaned for him, out of love not duty but as an expression of my love for him. What you all did not know was how I had to survive for years with a man that phonghapy was his other love, do you know how that could affect ones self esteem as a wife and have no one to talk to about it, cos of the shame and embarrassment attached to it and even a sense of protecting him and the family, not wanting to talk about our problems and keep the façade of a perfect family and always hoping that things will change and get better someday.

Do you know how many fights we had cos I asked him to stop, all he would say is” it was just pictures that is means nothing” but I knew once he started looking that thisl the next thing would be to act on it…Do know how a woman feels when she knows and have even walked in on him looking at  naked women having sex, does that not count as adultery of the mind I ask you?

That not enough, his drinking when his stressed and then the physical abuse… do you know what it feels like for the man that says he loves you one minute to be hitting on you the next do you know how demoralizing that could be? …and for this to be happening for years…When I think of it I should have left the first day he slapped me for no good reason. Remember my daughters first birthday when I had the black eye and I told you all I fell…. Well now you know it was no fall.

When is enough, enough? When his sleeping around with not one, two or more different women…is it till I am infected with HIV then I could be released for this contract? Is the contract not broken the minute he had slept with another that was not his wife?  To top this I got no support for my dreams like how I had stood by his. My dreams were nothing but “little hobbies” to keep me occupied not a career that required time and energy to concentrate and develop, he did not but expected a housewife for ever (which was for a season)

When is enough, enough? After he had fathered a child outside of our marriage(and that’s the one I got to find out, what about the ones I don’t know or would never know)… I had had enough my ladies; to you I should pray and ask God for help… I did and still do, but first I need to accept and identify what was wrong and break out of a mind of denial, shame and hopelessness, I am fighting now for my mind and sanity … I am sure we had many a good time, but now I can not remember I can not let depression step in to my life anymore for years I have battled with that, to the point when death started looking attractive, No more! My life is worth more than his wife or their mother, there is more to me and you may choose to call me selfish, maybe its time to think about myself… just maybe.

As she carefully wiped her eyes, picked up her bag and calmly walked out of the restaurant with a stride I had never seen her in before, some would call it a swagger.

…so when is enough, enough?

Keeping it real, let the conversation begin.