My head is spinning… very trying and emotional.
Feels like a warring internally.
Want to stay in His present, yet everything around me is
Going crazy!
Want to react! Lash out! (Flesh out!)
But,
I know the Holy Spirit in me will not approve… can NOT APPROVE!
Feel am losing everything… yet, know enough to know it’s for my own good.
It’s just way too painful and hurts so!
…this process needs to move fast.
To forgive. To heal. To become whole.
Long to be strong again, and put my hands to the plough!
Kingdom work, food for the soul… less I be consumed.
Yet, I am concerned that even then I may not be ready, may not be “good” enough.
Be still (says the whisper)
Trying hard to be is my answer.
But instead, feel like two different people warring in this body… this mind.
I cry, Lord!
Explicit direction!
Clarity of mind!
It is so noisy in my head, can’t hear my heart … or just afraid to?
Be still (says the whisper)
RefinedOne.
