So many ways I have seen you,
So many ways I have hoped to understand you,
So many ways I have longed to end your worries.
You’re holding on to many things…
So much pain, So much hurt, so little joy.
‘ your bleeding heart can mend’
But you have to let go of all that weighs you down
and be lifted up.
Being fragile in a world of no real love pre-empts decisions
That gives rise to mistakes.
So let it go and be lifted up!
Ilu-Ilu.
Hi people, its been too long, but hey I’m back ( don’t know how long for) with a bang, I hope 
growing, changing maturing in life’s challenges moving from black and white to understanding shades of gray or at least acknowledging there are shades.
I will be doing a series of issues that I have a passion for but have talking about on this blog, but feel its time to now. As always the purpose is to bring to the light what is in the dark, for that is the only way deliverance can first start. When you know that what ever issue you have is not new and many others have or are going through the same thing reduces the intensity of the challenge.
In this series we’ll all reason together for I don’t claim to have the answers but when we talk, share together in truth and a clear honest and open mind keeping it real all the way, we learn.
After nearly 20yrs of marriage Linda walked out, this is a lady we all looked at her marriage and family and marveled. Her beautiful children her husband who always had nothing but praise for his wife, so understandably we were shocked and sad about it.
Some said she should not have given up and that divorce was the easy option, some sad there is nothing that God could not do so why break the home, some said she was selfish and that it would miss up the kids, some said what ever it was;could she not bear it and wait till the children where older?… and many more was said to her and around her. For sometime Linda was not seen by all for a while, but come this faithful summer afternoon in walked Linda on her “ladies that lunch” meeting visibly upset with a teary eyes yet clam. As she walked in and stood before the ladies and said “when is enough, enough! I was faithful and devoted for all the years I was married, supported my husband in his dreams, counted pennies with him, did not put pressure on him was not demanding. I was not perfect but was willing to grow together in love. I stayed at home and raised our children and manage the home, all by choice, to give the very best of me, that was my contribution to the stability of our home. I cooked and cleaned for him, out of love not duty but as an expression of my love for him. What you all did not know was how I had to survive for years with a man that phonghapy was his other love, do you know how that could affect ones self esteem as a wife and have no one to talk to about it, cos of the shame and embarrassment attached to it and even a sense of protecting him and the family, not wanting to talk about our problems and keep the façade of a perfect family and always hoping that things will change and get better someday.
Do you know how many fights we had cos I asked him to stop, all he would say is” it was just pictures that is means nothing” but I knew once he started looking that thisl the next thing would be to act on it…Do know how a woman feels when she knows and have even walked in on him looking at naked women having sex, does that not count as adultery of the mind I ask you?
That not enough, his drinking when his stressed and then the physical abuse… do you know what it feels like for the man that says he loves you one minute to be hitting on you the next do you know how demoralizing that could be? …and for this to be happening for years…When I think of it I should have left the first day he slapped me for no good reason. Remember my daughters first birthday when I had the black eye and I told you all I fell…. Well now you know it was no fall.
When is enough, enough? When his sleeping around with not one, two or more different women…is it till I am infected with HIV then I could be released for this contract? Is the contract not broken the minute he had slept with another that was not his wife? To top this I got no support for my dreams like how I had stood by his. My dreams were nothing but “little hobbies” to keep me occupied not a career that required time and energy to concentrate and develop, he did not but expected a housewife for ever (which was for a season)
When is enough, enough? After he had fathered a child outside of our marriage(and that’s the one I got to find out, what about the ones I don’t know or would never know)… I had had enough my ladies; to you I should pray and ask God for help… I did and still do, but first I need to accept and identify what was wrong and break out of a mind of denial, shame and hopelessness, I am fighting now for my mind and sanity … I am sure we had many a good time, but now I can not remember I can not let depression step in to my life anymore for years I have battled with that, to the point when death started looking attractive, No more! My life is worth more than his wife or their mother, there is more to me and you may choose to call me selfish, maybe its time to think about myself… just maybe.
As she carefully wiped her eyes, picked up her bag and calmly walked out of the restaurant with a stride I had never seen her in before, some would call it a swagger.
…so when is enough, enough?
Keeping it real, let the conversation begin.
“We fall down, but we get up, for a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up!”-Donnie Mcclurkin.
Getting up, may sound so easy….Moving forward even harder. Baggage’s of past( and sometimes present) pains and hurts hard to of load, unforgiveness, bitterness, self condemnation can be more debilitating than drug abuse or any sought addictions. You are a walking dead, smiling, moving, oh! So busy performing tasks even delivering them very well too…but dead! Without feelings, void of empathy, compassion and totally consumed with self. But you have a CHOICE!
All is required we do is know God loves us more than you could ever imagine or anyone could tell you. Make our confession to HIM is all He asks of us, for He is the only Restorer of souls, Healer, Comforter and the only One that forgives without condemnation.
Make a choice to LIVE, move on, move forward and join the land of the living…
JESUS is sure alive!!!
What you call me, that I am not!
for I know who I am, whose I am and what HE says I am… Beautifully and wonderfully made, crafted and fashioned!
My heart is pure and so are my intentions( can that be said of yours) …yes, I don’t always do the right things, but renewed I am and in Him stand, void of condemnation.
Everyone well dressed and perfectly made up with plastic smiles looking like it’s all under control,
but within hurting, doubting, insecure and in turmoil…Why ?!
‘cos some have chosen to live a lie and not be real to themselves first.
Life is for living…and as one said “Life is what happens when your making plans”
So live the life…
Know yourself…
Be true to yourself…
Love others the way you would be loved and
LIVE!
Birds of the same feather flock together…
That was one of the sayings my mum loved to quote to warn us as children about bad friendships, another is from the Bible telling us not to be unequally yoked (bridled together) this is mostly used to warn Believers about associating or marrying an unbelievers (one who did not accpect Jesus as Lord and saviour)
I think it can be used among believers too,simply saying be careful who you hang with believer or unbeliever…anyway I digress
We grow not just physically, intellectually and mentally, but hopefully with wisdom and discernment too. I say discernment cos the older we get, the margin for error are reduced and so careless mistakes should be avoided at all cost, for the damage could be one that may never be replaced or fixed.
Moving from one level to another in life in what ever area, be it in family relationship, work, education or career would be determined by our association…Who you mix with, Who you are listening to and spending time with, whether you like it or believe it will effect how well or bad you grow…What you think, How you think and What you do.
There is a time for everything, I personally feel I’m in my time for doing …stepping out and actualizing all the learning and preparation, so my associations are very important and am very protective of what am hearing, seeing and doing. I must be with people I can learn from, stable (mentally and emotionally), mature, positive and goal driven.
I guess I would like to live the rest of my life full, fun and purposeful with as little drama as possible…not much to ask now is it?
Identify the birds you flock with … How inspiring are they? What is their added value in your life? Are you the one always pouring out and never receiving?
Hi guys, yes it has been way too long , guess settling down back home has had it’s own challenge, but still good. Kids are in school and I have my projects. Its been hectic and fun all rolled into one, finding out new and “amazing” things about my people(lol). My children are loving there school, that had its own challenge, but was expected…. the Nigerian educational system is very good, but IMHO still needs to not just train children on how to pass exams but why they are learning and how to apply learning ( topic for another time )
…Anyway will be back soon, just had to stop by and say Hey!
Help!!!
I have a little project I need to research . So anyone that has lived or lives in the Northern part of Nigeria please your contribution would be much appreciated.
I need to about what life is like for a woman/young lay in the northern. how it effects your choice of life style, education. social life, marriage/relationship, family life and all sorts of general gist. email Refined74@googlemail.com
Do you know that with only =N= 10.00
(Ten naira) a day you can….
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Through out 2008, by giving a minimum of four thousand naira (which will translate to less than 10 naira a day) you will be ensuring that the disadvantaged children will have access to a good meal and a level of basic quality education.
Linkachild will be working with partner organisations to achieve these set goals.
We invite you to partner with us by making a minimum donation of N4000 on or before Monday March 31st 2008 to be a part of making the future better for the less privileged.
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Linkachild Ltd/Gte
08033854523, 08024727801
Man proposes God disposes, so they say….Well it seem so in my situation. I would have loved to be writing this in the heat of Lagos, but alas! It’s not to be…
All my furniture and things are having that experience at the moment without me…something came up and we have to spend one more Christmas in the UK….
Yes I am still in the cold of the UK…dreaming of my Lagos sun.As I sit on the floor typing this( it’s all back to basic guys ) …No Christmas tree or decorations…No feeling of the season, my body is here but my spirit is not ( it is in las gidi )…thinking of all my plans for Christmas in Lagos… taking the children to the beach after feasting and visiting, I think God must have a reason…He must have something better in store in January or He is just looking out for us, one way or another ….It is well!
So one more “tango in the UK” folks I will make the best of a situation I was not looking forward to….
On the 3rdthis month makes One year of blogging for me….How the year has flown. It has been the best and the worst of years all mixed into one…. But I would say it has been a year of Gods faithfulness… getting to know more about the layers that make me, ME.
A year that God has shown me I am able to carry some loads I would have never believed I could… A year of seeing how far His love for me expands. A year of growth….This has been a landmark year and I am thankful.I would like to thank all that have ever left a comment on my blog….all those that have been to my blog and not left any comments…all those that have left email comments and encouragement…all those that have emailed me to say they where encouraged by my words or post, I say a big THANK YOU…GOD BLESS YOU and I look forward to many more years (God willing)
My New Year starts in September, that is when I seek God face for a word to carry into the following year/season. 2007 was “Taking the limits of God and expanding boundaries” This He sure did…I was so excited about the expanding boundaries, that I did not take in to account what it fully implied…If I was to expand my boundaries, that would also mean stepping into a boundary already occupied, at first I was not careful and did not protect myself from the assault and attack of “expanding boundaries” but soon understood that when God gives you a word it will be fulfilled, but it will never come easy, cos it is in the process of the fire you are REFINED.
This Year/Season 2008 ( yes 2008 , for I am already in my New Year) my word from God has been “Soar like an eagle….New beginnings/ new thinking…a season of separation and feeling of going it alone (some friendships will not go it with me in this year/season). Many will not understand me…but that’s ok, they are not meant to. It’s a continuation from the year before to take the limits of God and walk in my uniqueness.
The more I read about the character and attribute of an eagle it gets clearer…This time I have learnt to guard my heart, keep myself in His covering and not be arrogant to think I know anything….for it is all Him.
Have a Merry Christmas ….the reason for the season is CHRIST and nothing else…Not the trees…Not the presents…Not the food….Not clothes…..Not the drinks.
Happy New Year….may we all walk in the fullness of our purpose and fulfil DESTINY.
Till 2008.
Thanks http://mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com for this:
Planned, worried and prepared…
But now,
The boxes are packed,
A house in boxes to be moved to a home.
Now it’s dawned on me…
I am leaving all I have known for nearly 20yrs,
to a new mindset…a new way… new people… wow! When all said it was a “big step” we were taking …I took no notice.
So I will not smell winter of spice and cinnamon and all that is Christmas in England…
So I will not see my morning birds that visit outside the kitchen window…Mr Robin in the winter months and Mr Magpie and friends…
And will not see the blossoms of my cerrytree in spring as it opens delicately white with a hue of pink, and the bloom of my spring garden with the daffodils and tulips in the ray of colours red, pink and yellows, and as summer warms up the bloom of the five rose bushes, Wow!
Quietly as I pack up the last boxes I get a nut in my tummy and everything seemed to move in slow motion..
Ah! A new adventure …and new chapter in the pages of my life…Lord you told me this year was going to be a year of “taking the limits off , expanding my boundaries and stepping out”
it sure has been…I never for saw this happening …So soon, but you said “dream big dreams” and I sure did! As I and my family take this “big step” and have our “walk on the water moment” with you Lord, I am confident, excited and full of expectation of what you have in store for us in the very near future.
Home called, and I(we)answered..
From eternity to destiny in-between these; the seasons
Yes! You choose me from the creation of time
Yes! I was with you, in you, were you.
You birth me into this shell for you know the end.
In this shell you kept me, to minister for you care so much; you wanted to feel what I felt, to deliver destiny and redeem a generation.
Ah! To be born into this shell and go through the seasons, learning, being broken and birthing.
Ah! How this shell has been knocked, bruised, abused, tossed and pulled … for the shell hates you!
it loves what it sees and wants more
it loves what it feels and wants more
it loves what it touches and wants more
it loves what it tastes and wants more
it loves what it hears and wants more…
But! Yes, I was in you from the creation of time, was with you and was you.
Alas! You are still in me to birth destiny (for you know the end).
The alabaster box was broken
The lamb was slain, so ….
You break and slay me daily, in seasons to birth destiny (for you know the end).
I am knocked but I get up, to be knocked again and again
But I get up quicker with every blow until I master how to block and dock the punches….
With each knock, a breaking, until you are poured out of this shell to birth eternity to destiny…
For you alone know the end!
Author: RefinedOne
…will not be putting any new post for a while, stay strong all
God has chosen us all, the decision to act is yours and mine. God has asked us to do the impossible; cos He is the God of the impossible, but we let the fear of what people would say or think of us (just in case we don’t succeed)
We all have our different path to walk in this life time and all God asks for is Obedience, not qualification, not ability and not understanding of the full picture or end plan. I am finding out God always has a reason for whatever He ask of us, sometimes we know, other times we just have to trust Him.{ The bible says God’s thoughts for us are good and not of evil to give us a hope and a future } so we should be rest assured that anything He wants for us is GOOD! Although most times during the process it does not feel so…
Changing the world is possible, it can only be done with God’s help…He has given us the manual, the bible, in it He says have Faith…Trust Him…Love one another and be Obedient to His word and instructions.
Obey Gods word and He will do the impossible in our lives and through us (a privilege to be co-workers) to reach and change the world! …so let’s go and build our ARK, for when the floods come (for it will surely come) we are able to be “a safe place” for others.
We can change the world by one Act of Random Kindness.
Watching the film Evan Almighty Oh! So blessed me, yes! it empowered me to succeed!
……So let’s start by taking our blessed selves and actually be a BLESSING.
Let’s build our ARK and Change the World.
dallenia Says:
October 23, 2007 at 12:39 am e well girl what can i say i’m so so happy for you. that the lord found you the right one indeed.
well girl i wish could say the same for me. well the last time i thought i found the right one girl .he did me wrong. he play the act he was so so nice.and then play the hard to get. i never fell inlove by my self, but it happend to me now it been,8 month i cant forget him why i dont know.it feels like acurse.i ask god to forget but he still on my mind. everyday. it like ”a never ending storie”the thing that hurt me the most i’m scared of leting myself go and be wo.
Dear Dallenia
I feel for you and wish I could tell you that the experience was all about my guy but rather he was simple the vessel that God used to touch me. The poem is about my transformation process, it is the result of the journey I had to go through with God in order to let go of my fears and issues about marriage so that I can come to the place of not seeing marriage as a prison. A place where woman are nothing but slaves or so I thought but now I can see marriage differently , I now see it as a place of safety and security where I am free to accomplish all that I can be. I have finally crucified the Jezebel (the controlling spirit) in me and I have taken the mantle of Sarah, a woman of faith whose trust is in God to make any changes in her man necessary. I am free to simple love.
As for your guy all I can say is break the soul tie and move on. If my guy were to leave today, I would be hurt but I would move on and be eternally grateful to him. What I have learnt is so valuable and precious, at times God is interested in the process and not necessarily the end result. The feelings I have is based on God’s perspective, it is about agape love, a love that has God at the centre of it. While we were yet sinners God loved us, so my guy does not have to attain a standard or do something for me to feel what I am feeling. It is looking and feeling with the eyes of God.
Be encouraged and wait for God he will bring the right one, it is well worth the wait. In the meantime let God help you deal with your issues and make you whole. There are many women out there but a woman like me, one who know her value is one in a million. I guess the truth question is how do you value yourself as a woman?
Blessed.
…..Meet a woman in love
The Woman in Me
Situations has cause me to hide
Circumstances has changed me
The world has caused me to turn away from the woman in me.
I look around and see women
Incomplete women, lonely women
Women who have something missing in them
I see women acting like men
Women with the {WO} missing in them
I should know I use to be one of them
But a touch from the right man
A word from my love is all it takes
And the woman in me comes out.
Oh what a wonderful feeling it is to be a woman
To have my {WO} back again
It is okay for me not to be so strong
It is okay for me to have emotions
It is okay for me to lay down my life
And to let the man be the man
It is okay because I am loved and accepted
The woman in me feels safe and secure
What a joyous feeling it is
What a restful feeling
What a peaceful feeling it is
To be a woman again
I can safely say, perfect love cast out all fears
I can safely say, love makes all the difference
I can truly testify that the love of the right man is all it takes
Woman, heed my advice
Wait for the right man, there is no feeling like it
Wait for the right one and be the woman God has created you to be
Wait it is worth it, just to see the transformation take place in you
Wait, it is worth it, just to have the burden lifted off
Wait and see the salvation of the Lord
Let him bring the right one
Let him bring that one
Whose voice causes your heart to skip a beat
Whose touch causes your knees to weaken
Whose words brings out the best in you
Wait it is well worth the wait
The love of the right man makes
You feel like you can do anything
The love of a right man
Inspires the woman in you to experience new things
It causes you to aspire to be the best you can be
A Woman
That is all you need to be
A Woman
That is who you were made to be
So my prayer is that one day
You meet someone like my love
And for the first time
Yes I can say it
My lord
Who will bring back the {WO} in you
And cause you to dare to be a woman again.
Author: Blessed Oluwayemi.
Cece Winans- When I listen to her music it always ministers to me, she comes across like one that is a true worshipper- one that loves the Lord with all her being giving Him the praise in every way. Apart from being an award winning artist (six times Grammy awards winner), Dove award winner, Soul train award winner and actress… she is also a teacher and mentor…Her album Throne room is my all time favourite, not just the melody but the words always bring healing and joy to my soul, I feel sometimes listening to her songs and feel like I am intruding in her personal time with God. I most admire about her is a passion for the youth, especially young girls. In Oct of 2005, Cece developed and hosted the Always Sisters conference which focuses on support for young women ages 13-26yrs, where she offered words of encouragement and self esteem was discussed. This is her passion that young women will walk in the fullness of God glory and self worth of their everyday lives. At the conference she presented the young ladies with tiaras as a token to the girl, She said…”My prayer was that they know God and know who they are”…”He is the only one that can really teach you who you are, how beautiful you are, how powerful you are, that you deserve the best and not to settle for less” This are the kind of things I like to see and hear..Older women mentoring the younger ones and empowering them on who (we) are as women/princesses and should be treated as one by ourselves and others. Cece has been married for over 21yrs with two children (boy/girl) Cece the wife and mother has managed to balance her personal and professional lives with relatives ease….this for me is a woman living a life with purpose.
Oprah Winfrey- Born January 29, 1954 is the American multiple-Emmy Award winning host of The Oprah Show, the highest-rated talk show in television history. She is also an influential book critic, an Academy Award -nominated actress for The Color Purple. And a magazine publisher of O, The Oprah Magazine and O at Home. She has been ranked the richest African American of the 20th century, the most philanthropic African American of all time, and the world’s only black billionaire for three straight years. She is also, according to some assessments, the most influential woman in the world {} raised in rural poverty by her grandmother, born out of wedlock by a mother who was a housekeeper and father a coal miner, at the birth of Oprah, but later became a councilman. Regardless of background and a challenged home life she was able to rise above it all at 13yrs received a scholarship to attend Nicolet High School in the Milwaukee suburb of Glendale, Wisconsin after which she won an oratory contest, which secured her full scholarship to Tennessee State University, a historically black institution, where she studied communication. This is a woman that has accomplished so much in the world of media I could go on, but what I would like to spotlight and truly admire is her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa, she intends teaching a class via satellite. Oprah is not married, but instead has been in longstanding relationship of over 20yrs with partner Stedman Graham. She never had children of her own but had this to say about the girls of her Leadership Academy….”I never had children, never even thought I would have children. Now I have 152 daughters; expecting 75 more next year. That is some type of gestation period…I said to the mothers, the family members, the aunts, the grannies — because most of these girls have lost their families, their parents — I said to them, “Your daughters are now my daughters and I promise you I’m going to take care of your daughters. I promise you.”
I found doing the research for this list quiet reflective and it sure did reinforce things about myself that I am absolutely sure are no coincidences anymore… all the women that I admire, truly sum me up …Out of the box, Passionate, Motivational, Strong, Natural nurturers, Called to run “their own” race, Unique with a large heart of service to others and effective to their immediate society and the world!
None of these women are perfect and have made mistakes in their lives, they have had their share of challenges and adversity, but it never stopped them…
Life must have purpose!
Who inspires you?
Who do you admire?
And Why?
I’m more than your daughter, your sister, your wife, your mother, your friend your lover, your confidance
I am of royal lineage and a priestly one too.
The evil one comes cunning and whispers words that lead to strife, worry, low self esteem
NO! You choose me from the creation of time; I’m whole, of purpose and of excellence.
I’m more than your……
I was made, created, fashioned, cultivated, planned (not an after thought) and supervised by God to be ezer (helper) to the kingdom.
I am valuable to God, I am somebody not to be used and abused….
Capable, intelligent, virtuous I am; who can find me? Only in Christ, for God’s glory.
I’m more than your……
The evil one whispers….your too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too loud, too quiet, too shy, too out spoken, have an accent, not qualified, too qualified, too old, too young……have nothing to offer (A LIE) for I’m adorned with glory, power, majesty my true beauty ……the essence of me.
In me is trust, peace, love and life.
I’m more than your…..
Greater is in me……..
I have so much inside, to be birth, walked out, excised and then refilled; my assignment? Gods plan, to use this ‘building” for His Kingdom.
Setting my affection, looking to the Kingdom first my lord provides all, all that I would ever need.
I’m more than your…..
For when you see me you see Him in all His glory; when I speak you hear His words cutting and dividing the word of truth, as it should.
For I AM MORE! I AM MORE!!!
I AM OF ROYAL BLOOD
I AM OF A ROYAL FAMILY
I AM OF A ROYAL KINGDOM AND A PRIESTLY ONE TOO.
Author: Refinedone
Yesterday I said a enough is a enough!!
Yesterday I decided to truly trust in Him
Yesterday old struggles that tried to rise up where put down
Yesterday pains and worries where put back on the altar (not looking back, this time)
Yesterday a rebirth, not looking to man, but to God, for He knows the beginning and end of me…
Stay strong people…..
Uncertainty with a mist
Would want to insist that it should persist, but
With a fist
It does desist
Because it doesn’t consist in light where
You exist!
Arise fair one arise,
Your strength
Restored,
In your stride, you are a queen
Adorned,
Come now fine,
Drowned now that feeling from inside,
That kept your smile, that radiating warmth
Like the pheonix rising!
http://refinedonelyrics.wordpress.com the others side of me
Artist : Mufu Onifade
Title: Omu iya du (Mothers mike is sweet)
We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations….” But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give
it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter’s hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.
Authour Unknown.
Hi guys…It’s been along break and a very necessary one too on so many levels, I guess the different aspects of it would reflected on my future posts.
My last post was all about Link-a-child and a particular Orphanage I was drawn to help, I asked for your assistance and I must say thanks to those that acted on the cry.
I must update you on the development on my trip regarding the orphage in Igbo Efon called Hope for all Foundation Motherless babies home
To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, I was broken hearted at the state I saw my babies (My baby Sola and the other babies) there had been no improvement ….if any it was getting worse. To help get things going and improved I got talking with a friend about getting her church involved since it was nearer the Motherless babies home, only to find out that a lady by the name of Sabina God bless her, truly an angel ( I will be talking about her and the work she does in the very near future) Sabina had been to the same Orphanage and was very disturb about the state the babies where living in.
This for me was divine intervention cos of the way we both had been drawn to the same Orphanage and passion for the babies’ welfare. Sabina later told me that she had seen other Orphanages and was deeply sadden at the state of things at Hope for all foundation Motherless babies home in Igbo Efon Lekki. We found out that the babies were not getting vitamins, but the babies have since been secretly administering the vitamins to the babies without the Homes administrator Ms Regina Adegbite knowing cos she may not give the babies (why you say? I do not know). The whole situation gets even more bizarre
We arranged to visit the orphanage together the following day which was a Sunday, so after service we set off, me, Sabina, my sis-law Celina and my friend Sis Osaretin who had linked Sabina and I together.
As we walked into the room where the babies slept, played and eat the smell was overpowering, they all were sick with diarrhea full with dirty nappies that looked like they had not been changed all day , the had all lost weigth and where skin and bone , we later found out that the babies where not getting any medication for their diarrhea…this is no exaggeration, it was that bad!
In a mixture of vexation, hurt and pain we immediately insisted and assisted the babies to have their bath and changing their nappies. One at a time they were bathe we each got down to drying them with one towel between five children, they had no rash cream or baby powder.
QUICK NOTE: they did not have these things not because they were not donated or given, cos as an example, I know a couple of weeks before, Celina my sis-in-law had donated 25,000 Naira worth of baby milk and nappies, Sabina had donated petroleum jelly and powder previously too ( so you say where did all that go? I don’t know)
While we were assisting in getting the babies bath and dressed the administrator was nowhere to be seen, she knew we were around. Five babies where been looked after by one young lady!
It gets worse..while we were talking to the administrator one of the little children by the name of Tolu who was brain damaged due to the way he was delivered (his mother standing and him delivered head first) like any 2yr old boy went playing amongst some donated gift items…what happened next was the nail in the coffin for me….Ms Regina Adegbite slapped the little boy on his face! In front of 4 mothers, when she was confronted about her action she said she would do it again, that the boy was stubborn. Sabina had mentioned that when she was at the orphanage sometime before that Ms Regina Adegbite had smacked my baby Sola in her present…now we saw it for ourselves. If she could do that in our presence what would she do in our absences?
After the slap, I had to excuse myself less I did something that would not have been lady like. Sabina carried Tolu and was comforting him she had tears in her eyes and prayed over him and the other babies…her heart was so broken
These children are at risk!
At risk of malnutrition!
At risk of abuse (emotional/physical)
At risk of death!
CHILD WELFARE IN NIGERIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ….More on trying to get help for the babies of Hope for all Foundation Motherless babies home Igbo Efon, Lekki
The kind of help I trully would like is to move the babies away from that place to another safe orphange ….cos there are plenty of very well run homes in Nigeria.
Yemisi was “the babe” in campus, slim figured long legs very attractive and brainy too. After graduation she married her Uni sweet heart Michael…he was equally fine in looks and brains, they both complimented one another very well ( well that was my opinion)
Now she and Michael had been dating for about 4years and engaged the last year…Michael was so in love with her and she to him… anyone that knew them could see that, they were inseparable. We all attended the wedding, a most romantic and beautiful affair.
So you could understand my surprise to learn that they were separated… you know how rumours can be. I did not want to believe, until this faith day, I was walking out of a supermarket on the high street when I bumped into Yemisi…the girl was like a size 16 ….she was still pretty but I just could not understand her weight gain…we exchanged numbers and agreed to met up at her place for Lunch the following day.
We had a pleasant meal, then sat down to catch up on our lives… she came out straight with it and told me she was now separated and in the process of a divorce …the expression on her face said it all … she was still getting use to the idea and not happy about it at all.
She now had 3 children and was working with one of the Telecommunications company in the City….I had to ask her what the reason of the break down in her marriage, many things crossed my mind, could it be infidelity ( it is most of the time ) it could not be children, she had 2 two boys and a girl. To my amazement, she said… I became to fat for my husband o! What? Are you serious? I exclaimed… she continued that as she started having children the weight piled on and became difficult to shift… but her husband kept telling her, he loved her just the way she was so she did not feel the need to do anything about it…Soon he stopped touching her, sex was none existent until one day he said he did not want to be with her and that he did not find her attractive anymore, all this after 8yrs of marriage. She said she did all to loose the weight, but by then there was no love left in her husband heart for her…
I ask, should that be enough to end a marriage. Should that be enough to stop loving your partner?
Would a woman divorce, if her husband became over weight? Or are men only driven to love visually? I wonder?
Peace out all….Leave you with that for a couple of weeks 
“All your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into outline, it’s like being ambushed by a grotesque”
- Guildernstern
I really wish some women would stop fooling themselves. We live in a time where the truth is now up side down…we have become so cultured and advanced that we think we can question nature… yes! Nature. God made, God created, God Ordained Some things are so just because that is how it is made…there are exception to the rule, but that is what they are exceptions.I love getting in to dialogue with women that think they have all the answers… single, independent, up-wardly mobile and in there early to mid 20’s.They think they have all the answers… and because they may be successful in one area of there life, now think that is all life is about… money and academic or career success…That is all good and I admire that and should be celebrated, but to deny that you are nurtures and love beings, drawn to companionship is a lie!
It is sad that, in these day a lot of people are being raised in a single parent homes, some men are so iresponsible that girls grow up not knowing what is it to be look after, lovingly protected. Instead they grow up guarded, wounded , scared emotionally and do not want to have anything to do with a man. They now feel like every man should be treated like dirt… To be used and dumped for there own sexual pleasure… (you are just hurting your self more) 
Some of these women feel, because of what they must have see or bad experiences by the re mothers or other women while growing up now don’t have value for a man( who can blame them) But truth is truth no matter how distorted some have made it.
Because of that they are resentful towards men and refuse to appreciate the difference in the sexes, the responsibility and /or ability. In this PC generation the devil has told a big lie and some have bought into it. Hook line and sinker!
They say why should we marry?
So what if I have multiple partners, don’t men do the same?
I am using them not the other way round
When and if I want to have a child I will ask a gay friend to help be a sperm donor or go to a sperm bank.
I do not need any man in my life telling what to do!
My child does not have to have father.
I am financially capable
Women make better lovers
What do I need a man for?
Oh! Woman you have lost your essence
Created you were to give balance
To add fragrance.
However, you have been lead astray by what you see
By the hurts you experienced, that I never intended for you
Come back home daughter
And claim your crown and garment of honour, dignity and of beauty
Not just a form of outer adorning but of internal too
Oh! Daughter come back and be that lone star which shines so bright
Illuminating the path that we may go…
Of a high standard and grace…Ah! GRACE
DO you still know what that word means, daugthers of today?
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor”
-Archbishop Desmond Tutu, South African Bishop opposing Aparthied.
When Kimberly Smith, executive director of Make Way Partners, found James teaching under the trees, he had 150 orphans looking to him to share his education with them but he had nothing else to give. No food. No medical care. Not even a shelter to provide shade blistering Sahara sun.
Today, James has 400 orphans and thanks to the generosity of many he has open air classrooms where the children can at least have a roof over their heads. He is also able to feed them every day and on Wednesdays they even get meat. At this very moment, he is desperately working to get the funding to buy materials to finish dormitories for the little ones before the rains come. The children need shelter. They need protection. James knows.
He can’t forget the number 278.…
To read post in full, please go to http://everydaymiracle.wordpress.com/2007/05/28/278-reasons-to-care/#more-211
What is happening to me? I feel so alive! Expectant and excited of the future. I love being a mom and wife and would not change that for anything, but I have always felt there was more to me.
I have just come back from a trip from home (Nigeria). Lagos has a way of bringing out my Alta-ego; I think I will call her PHOENIX, she feels she can do anything she sets her mind to, ever rising, indestructible, larger than life and bursting to birth her creative side, her destiny and purpose.
Truly home calls and all I do now is count my days. As a family we are ready to move back home, for personal reasons, to live! Not just, exist. It may not be your reality but it ours. We want our children to grow-up knowing there culture first hand to have a solid, rounded foundation, hubby and I just agree it is time to make the move (there are something’s that cannot be explained) you just have a restlessness that your unable to shake off.
For me personally I think the restlessness I feel is fast showing, that “thing” I could never articulate properly, of whats burning inside of me, some how it’s coming out now!I am going to shout it out… cos once it’s out I have no other way but to confront and deal with it, so here goes… “I am a frustrated artist” that feels better, now let the transition begin!
This year the lover of my soul had already dropped in my spirit it was going to be a year of expanding boundaries and taking the limits off, stepping out…and having many a “walking on the water”moments….Wow! It sure has been that so far, and the year is not over yet!
“Life is either daring adventure or nothing” _Helen Keller
….so let the adventure being! Phoenix is rising!
“A life lived without passion is a life lived in unfulfillment and regrets”
….Moi.
As I walk in this season of my life, I am just overwhelmed with the different extreme of emotions I am going through… form one minute feeling like giving up, of shame, despair and then excitement that it’s not all over, but a chance to “do over” a chance to make it better, sweeter and greater!!
So I thank the God of a SECOND CHANCE!!!
Devil you should have killed me when you had the chance….
When I walked out of God’s plan, out of His purpose and destiny for me, and let myself get tainted, diluted and separated from Him……to the point that when my Lord went looking; could not find me, only to see me bound and chained by my own habits that did not glorify Him….
I was ugly and in dispair I was without the glory my Lord had put on me….Yet He came and paid the costly price to release and save me. You saved me, cleansed me, and started to prepare me. With my head down you lifted me.You told me (reminded me) who I was ….
You gave me beauty for all my ashes, joy for all my pain.You clothe me with your righteousness again!
You stayed with me to teach me how to walk with you, again! You restored my purpose for you loosed me!
Devil you should have killed me when you had the chance….
‘Cos now, I am loosed! and set free!
Amen!
Authour: Refinedone
…Just got this and had to share.
Minister Joe Wright’s Prayer of the Opening of session of Kansas Senate.
“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your
forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says, ‘Woe to those who call evil
good,’ but that is exactly what we have done. We have
lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our
values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and
called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbour’s possessions and called
it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and
pornography and called it freedom of ___expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honoured values of our
forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse
us from every sin and set us free.
Amen!
The response was immediate. A number of legislators
walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short
weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is
pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only
47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is
now receiving international requests for copies of
this prayer from India, Africa and
Korea.
This is the time to draw a line in the sand and choose,whose side are you on?
Hot or Cold no lukewarmness no sitting on the fence, make you stand… choose!enjoy the benefit or suffer the consequences…it’s your choice!
Slavery with all its horrors was still a plan of God! (Believe it or not)
This was what my pastor preached about on Sunday the 25th of Mrach(200yrs of the abolition of slavery in the British colonies). At first that did not go so well with me, just as I was getting over that he dropped another “truth” …( he did warn that most of us would not take to his next statement likely) Trust me, it did not with me, but you could not deny the truth.
He reminded us about Joseph and how his brothers first planned to kill him because of his dreams/destiny and favour he had with there father…but later decide to sell him into slavery … They did not know, nor care what would become of him. As the story goes Joseph favour followed him every where …In the donjons he had favour with his gift as a dream interpreter, from there to be made a citizen and a Governor and only subordinate to Pharaoh ( King of Egypt) all this in the land he was sold to as a slave.
Then we are told there was famine in the all the land …but there was food in
Egypt, because Joseph had been able to read the dream of the King that foretold the famine… anyway cos of all this Josephs family where able to come and get food and even relocated….Read the detailed story in the book of Genesis 39-47.
All this is said to let you know the plans of God in your life can be killed/aborted or destroyed…what God says, will be fulfilled, a seed that never dies will never ripe a harvest.
Why I decided to write this post was because in the post before this I said something about an apology….which I would like to take back.
That is not necessary for the plans of God for slavery will be fulfilled. The pathway of our Destiny… {Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes horror has to happen and we may never understand its purpose but, that God, He knows!}
When Jesus was born …King Herald killed child aged 2yrs and under just to prevent destiny… was God aware? Yes …Why did He allow that? I don’t know (I guess that is why He is God!)
Brothers sold Brothers … That was what my Pastor said that did not go well with me, Slaves from
Africa were sold by there own brothers( Africans)… No matter how hard that maybe for us to accept it is the truth!
This has caused division between Africans and West Indians to date…some feel resentful towards Africans for what was done to there ancestors.
We should not let division in our lives, for the perfect will of God is still to be unfolded…Our dreams will still be fulfilled.
Brothers on different continents, of different shades, we are all still brothers, as I said before FORGIVNESS is the only way forwarded.
After all, what makes any event important, unless by its observation we become better and wiser, and learn to do justly, to love mercy,and walk humbly before God…. OLADAH EQUIANO. ( an exslave that was stripped of his home, culture and language)
25 MARCH 2007 will mark 200years to the day that a parliamentary Bill was passed to abolish the slave trade in the British colonies. Although it would be another 30 years before slaves gained their final freedom – when slavery was abolished throughout the British Empire.The need for a large and steady supply of labour on the sugar plantations of the Caribbean and South America, and on the cotton plantations in North America leaded to need of labour (Guess where they looked?) but to the dark continent of Africa.
The Middle Passage was the sailing of slave ships from Africa to the Americas. It is estimated that between nine to 12 million Africans were forced to make this passages The African captives were considered as ‘cargo’ and inhumanely packed together below the deck of a ship for most of the journey This took anywhere from six to eigth weeks, Conditions were appalling in the packed and unhealthy ship holds, and up to one in five died. Uprisings were common, but were violently suppressed .The mortality rate for the average journey was 10-15 per cent due to ill treatment, malnutrition and disease.Once the ships arrived at their destination, the surviving Africans were cleaned and prepared for auction.Now …I am not going to go into all the different wronged that the salves encountered, this is a season to remember those that were lost, the pain and suffering endured.
A time to salute those that fought against it and help bring an end. It a time for forgiveness and yes apology …..But most of all forgiveness and a time for closure, and this not be repeated in it’s different forms today!
The effect of slavery has left lasting damage to a whole race of people, but should not be used as an excuse not to progress and achieve their best.
What is slavery?
A slave is one…
• forced to work – through mental or physical threat;
• owned or controlled by an ‘employer’, usually through mental or physical abuse or threatened abuse;
• dehumanised, treated as a commodity or bought and sold as ‘property’
• physically constrained or has restrictions placed on his/her freedom of movement.
…so today we remember those who endure this evil…those that did not survive the journey and died as “cargo”
Roll call and Salute ….
To the freedom fighters and those who rose to became a symbol of encouragement to other slaves…
The first recorded slave revolt was in 1570. There were at least 250 shipboard rebellions. Jamaican slave society faced a serious revolt every decade, in addition to prolonged guerrilla war. In 1760, 30,000 Jamaican slaves revolted. The culmination, recorded in CLR James’s magisterial The Black Jacobins, was the 1791 slave revolt in St Domingue.
Granville Sharp, Olaudah Equiano, Ottobah Cugoano, Thomas Clarkson, John Newton, William Wilberforce, Hannah More, William Knibb, Ignatius Sancho, Elizabeth Heyrick, Samuel Adja(Ajayi)i Crowther, John Wesley Toussaint, L’Overture Sam Sharpe.
For more please go to http://www.setallfree.net
…This blog was not meant to be a personal journal like most out there, it was to be a means of service, and a stepping out into a place I have not been before…why am I saying all this, well cos I am about to share like a journal which this blogsite is not, but I have such an overwhelming feeling to share with all what is happening to me at this very moment …I feel the presence of the Lord to do this.
Coming out of a season and place that I would never have thought I would walk…and the mercy and grace of God have been Oh! So! Amazing…
Just when I think I have seen all of God in my life He shows me another dimension to Him…
At the moment what I am listening to is- Youthful Praise with James Hairston …and it is just speaking my heart every single song is just ministering to me, healing my heart and just putting in that place to hangout with God again.… (Worship for me is the way I fellowship and connect with my father and the lover of my soul)
I did not intend writing about this… but I just feel like shouting of God’s awesomeness in my life… No matter how I fall or fall short He still loves me…He will truly turn what the enemy plans to use to destroy/embarrass/cause pain that can sometimes be irreversible, all for good and the glory of Him!!… An incredible God deserves AN INCREDIBLE PRAISE!!!
The battle is in the mind for real…the distorting of truth that would cause the wrong decision to be made which would determine destiny… whoa!!!
I am all about DESTINY!!! and to allow destiny to nearly be destroyed by wrong decision based on the mind… God, I thank you!!! You’re Incredible and I bless you.
{praise break}
I love you lord with all my heart ….I thank you for mercy and grace …again I say you’re an INCREDIBLE GOD!!!
During healing you’re very fragile… and start thinking your personality is to blame … No! I am unique and God has made me so… you say to yourself… so if other takes advantage/ dishonour or take you for granted cos of that, is for them to deal with …
I am a very open soul… I easily take people in to my heart, so when that is bruised, it makes me question my personality…which in turn makes me lot more guarded than I would normally not be…
So why am I saying all this.. to be honest I don’t know, just was so excited that when I feel low, sometimes so disappointed in myself ..That there is a God that loves me sooooo much and who’s forever forgiving, faithful and loving… so all I can do is to give Him PRAISE!!
And say Shabach to the rock!!! (Praise to the Lord !!!)
I came across this site some time back and was totally blown away by the writing…when I went on to read the other articles to my amazement the author was talking of her process of adopting a child from Nigeria… and yes the couples are Nigerian too!
This is just an introduction of the subject of her and hubby’s adoption of there baby boy “baaboos” ( I just love his little nickname)
“I am going to Naija in two weeks time, or sha by the end of the month. I should be in Naija until next year. It is going to be hard for Boo and I because he is going to be here most of the time. He will go back and forth. Well, it will be hard for me sha. I don’t know about him. But, I will miss my man, especially because I don’t really know when I will be back exactly. Okay, this is why. I have been hinting you guys about our adoption move. I was not really ready to talk in great detail about it. Even now, I am not really ready. When we went home, we visited a number of orphanages and motherless babies homes with a view to identifying a baby boy for adoption. Yes o, boy. Boo has always wanted a son and I just want a healthy baby. I wanted a daughter first but, where I am at right now, healthy baby will do just fine. There were so many administrative hiccups and a disturbing lack of frankness in certain places we visited. In the end, we identified a baby boy that we liked in a place that we were comfortable with. He is a cute little thing, with long limbs like my Boo. They told us the story of how he came to be there: life is hard. He was crying when we first met him. I wish I could tell you that I carried him and he stopped crying immediately. For where? The small man continued crying, o. It was actually quite embarrassing that he did not take to me, immediately. My Tanzanian friend, Charity and her Dutch husband, Jaab adopted two babies from
Tanzania after trying for years to have kids naturally. When Cha-Cha (as I call her) tells you the story of the adoption of their first child, you will just be crying. She talked about how when she and Jaab went to the orphanage, the baby was crying and as soon as she carried him, he stopped. She says that is how she was sure that that was their baby. Well, this baby did not give me any such assurance. He continued yelling his head off when I carried him. But, Boo and I took a liking to him all the same. I can still hear the sound of his cry now. I think there is a determined strength in that cry. My boisterous little one who will not keep quiet until he gets what he wants. Just in case you are getting any ideas, on that day, what he wanted was food. Eventually, he allowed Boo to give him a bottle”……
Please go to http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/soul-sista-diary and read more.
I recommend Mummy and Baboos Mixed Blessings, You and Me and Who Said Family is Easy?
I wish you all the best Soul-Sista, Boo and Baboos!
…Back to the topic of the season
I still ask …Is adoption a western idea?
In this series we all are going to be learning together, getting information and hopefully making the awareness of Orphans, Orphanages, Adoption, Fostering and even Sponsorship ( I’ll elaborate on that much later) in Nigeria. The different types of adoption processes will be discussed as well as the challenges…
I ask, cos I don’t want to be accused of making assumptions..But why is adoption not widely an option to couples that are not able to have children of there own?
Why are Orphanages not given the support needed? Be it financial or just celebrated and encouraged.
Why In a country where there is always a wedding, or some form of celebration going on every weekend…people love to talk about there expensive designer bags, shoes and all…In a country that people go on 2 to 3 holidays a year and not blink at the expense… looking in the magazines when I was in Lagos …with the cream de le cream styling and profiling and just loving themselves… and I asked; If only people that have contributed/donated (not) even there time but maybe the cost of there “aso ebi” or there trip to Dubai/UK or where else they go.
…Ok I am going ahead of myself here… will come back to why I think those that have are way to self centred and self obsessed …{ These are all my opinion and not of Linkachild.org }
Very shortly I will be talking to the people in the know, about this issue.. Till then I’ll leave you all with a taste of things to come….
“Linkachild as an organisation primarily focuses on linking donors with those in need, which in this case are orphanages, invariably we get requests regarding adoption issues, however we are not an adoption agency, we only advise and assist. Presently we have 36 states in
Nigeria and can u imagine that each state has its own different adoption policy, coupled with the fact that the federal government has placed an embargo on inter state adoption. this will give you an idea of how muddled the system is down here, this restrictions came about due to many cases of abuse and in some instances rape, forced marriage, abduction and trafficking of adopted children”
Coming soon a more in depth Interview with BELLO OLUSINA CHRISTOPHER (Linkachild Administrator)
Pain can be good…Tears come after Joy…
Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that you where just about to loose it for real…? (If that make sense to you, then you have been there).
We make decision to help, protect oursleves, or stop other people hurting us…
We rationalise wrong decisions, cos we are in a pain or afraid.
This month we are talking all about LOVE
I am just going to write without qualifying what I am saying, I just feel the need to do this; so if someone gets something from it… so be it.
The girl loves to be loved…, loves hard work and determination: big attraction.
The girl was young when her heart was given away for ever, but let’s tracks back…
Before then, the girl was looking for love in all the wrong places, she had nothing else but that to Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that you where give (she did not know that at the time) you see how the best things about you can be blinded by you …. Just before girlfriend’s heart became cold and shut …love walked in … lovewalked in so different from what GF was use to…lovelooked different, spoke different , did not real fit GF ideal…but she gave it a go…love said “ what do you have against a men taking you out for dinner and bring you back home in good time” love said I know about the others that took your love and could not appreciate it for the gold it was, I promise to wipe those tears away’ not to be remembered again…promise to look after you with all my love ….( at this point GF was not really ready to open up again, but was curious to see what would happen .
Loved was constant, love was solid, and was always there….GF felt protected, valued, possessed, content and poured out!… did not feel vulnerable or afraid to LOVE!
As GF fellowships with love, and found out that GF could be loved for real… love brought yellow roes, art materials, and counted the copper coins to cover and provide for GF, she loved love even when other could not see what love could offer. But GF did!
In the mist of all the love, there where clouds of darkness (sometimes) but too often (chipping away) the glow of Love…At that time GF felt (rightly or wrongly) that lovedid not love GF anymore in their special way! Too many criticisms, too many let-downs, explained way …always explained…always explained…was it necessary? (Will find out)
…..then what happened, love started chipping away from GF …Little by little, little things… Little things…
Harsh words, a hard thoughts, lots of little excess, no control. love started to shake…I think Love forgot “I’ll wipe the tears from your eyes” and stated to bring tears to GF the pain….the pain…
OK! So the wounds would heal, the heart forgiven… was love taking GF for granted or just had other things on the mind….did life come in and steal the atmosphere of their love? Did they both take their love for granted and not guard it with all their heart?
….anyway, time passed, blue clouds and dark clouds came and went…the rains came and sunshine shone as hearts are broken and mended, broken and mended…healed hearts with scar tissues building around…the heart.
(Let’s not forget the God factor!!) That was only what was holding things up, together and somewhat moving… hope was driving the bus (maybe trust, patience, courage and faith should have been passengers too)
For as time passed GF decided…why must my heart keep on breaking? …yes there were fun times…plenty …so much fun, so much births have come and gone. Blessings that could not be returned and responsible for…
As we where saying GF made a decision that what would make or break the love (she never knew)
A heart that has felt betrayed (I say felt…cos that is the deception here), been bruised but had a high sense of duty would look for a balance, for sanity, for numbing the pain past or expected… (Does all that make sense?) well so it was…..
….so here comes he that is good at magnifying your supposed pain and bruises to the level of destruction of one’s self…you know him…the enemy of LOVE…the usurper of life …the life source of darkness …in his disguise as a solution.
…watch here as he set the stage for his devastation…in come the players onto stage.
Love….
GF….
“The solution”
Their love…
The birthing of their love…
All to be destroyed.
GF says…love it lost, fast spent and not ever going to see just me again…but we have a duty to do
Love is brilliant on duty…you cannot fault Love on that…nothing special anymore but duty.
Love on the other hand says …yes! I have not been fair, I have seen the light…I have a plan to go back to my promises…to lift GF again… (but the evil one has plans)
The solution… did not even know was a pawn in the distractions of the Love for love and GF and even ”Solution” (how sad).
…..Solution come just as GF decision is made…soon GF feels this balm for the pain past and the pain to come…
The evil one( EVO) dressed “solution” in the old clothes of love…( you guessed it GF is deceived and so is solution) as always EVO tells you he is giving you what has been taken from you when you had it all the time…for when you take it then you lose everything!
In comes riding on His white horse wielding his sword, exposing and causing what seem like distruction…in the commotion ….in the mess….in the confusion….in the pain…in tears … in the breaking ..There is a pouring out of Truth! The lies are exposed! Love and GF are saved… even “solution” is saved form a future that would have been smeared …
….so do I have a conclusion? No…you make yours.
But I have this to say ….before any major decisions, make sure HOPE, FAITH, TRUTH, PATIENCE, Unity OF MIND, and COURAGE AND LONG-SUFFERING ARE driving and riding on the bus….
PS: 11 days to go o!
Sister-Friend Alidee in the House…
It’s that time of the year when you’re returning back to work, school or wherever it might be.
The question that everyone asks is how was your Christmas? That is after they have wished you Happy New Year.
Whatever season you’re in, my question to you is have you arrived?
I was having a conversation with a friend recently and we were discussing individual’s perception about when they have arrived in life.
Some people consider being married as arriving in life; some people think because they have all the material wealth in life that they have arrived and the list goes on.
Well I have had a new revelation and that revelation is we arrive when we get to heaven and completed our earthly purpose.
This year I decided to do something different for Christmas. I spent my Christmas holidays doing voluntary work with an organisation called CRISIS.
CRISIS provides shelter for homeless people during the Christmas period. This year the shelter opened it doors on the Saturday 23rd of December to Saturday 30th December. During the period they provided homeless people with food, shelter, clothing, medical care, dentist, counselling, library facilities, Internet access, housing referral, career opportunities, chiropody, hairdressing and entertainment.
Well I must say it was an eye opener for me. When we think about homeless people most of us think about the person who’s on the streets because of such things as drugs, alcohol and mental issues.
Well it’s amazing some of the stories that you hear. I can now tell you that the above is just some of the reasons why people are homeless.
I looked around and to my amazement there were people who we would pass on the streets and never think they were homeless who were staying in the shelter. Even some of your colleagues who may be sitting next to you in the office are sleeping rough at nights. People from varying backgrounds, classes and ages resided at the shelter for the week.
There were people in the shelter up to about six months ago had all the material wealth such as houses, cars, 2.4 children, qualifications, earning in the high income bracket, you know the things we use to measure success.
But guess what things happened and their circumstances changed. A percentage of some of these people lost everything and they ended up in a homeless shelter alone with nothing to their name except a few items of clothing.
One of the guys said at least he’s still alive and because he’s still got life he has hope. He’s actually planning to get his life back on track and come back next year as a volunteer.
Some of the people that I spoke to said if anyone had said to them a year ago that they would be spending Christmas in a homeless shelter their response would have probably been no.
So where did they go wrong?
Did they become proud, did they become boastful, did they become arrogant, did they become selfish, what happened? To be quite honest I do not want to be judge or juror of their case. But just to remind myself and also to remind others that it’s a fine line.
So have you arrived?
“It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.
Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
So let’s just humble ourselves, give thanks continuously remember he gives grace to the humble“ Ephesians 2: 6-8
Author: Alicia Camile Douglas.
“ CHRISTMAS, the REASON for the SEASON is out of the mess of the first Christmas is the massage of LOVE, LIFE and HOPE”
My Daughter said something to me this morning…She asked “mom if it is a New Year why does it not feel any different”
The calendar says it is …at least the Gregorian calendar which is widely used….
Now why am I going on about calendars, my daughter like a whole lot us think that at Midnight of Dec 31st a New Year beginnings…well it does according to the Calendar, which I don’t have a problem with, but it’s the feeling of something New is about or should happen is what I’ll like us to reflect on. If it is a New Year why does it not feel any different….
The Difference should not necessary be the the fact that it is a New Year…but the continuation of a season. Those that are close to me know, my season started in Step Of 2006 and is continuing in 2007. What was conceived and birth in 2006 is being nurtured and cultivated in 2007 and in this same year there will be more birthings too…
We should try not to get caught up in the NEW YEAR syndrome which puts pressure on ourselves. We all go about making New Year resolutions which, without a doubt would be broken before the month is over that is if it has not been broken by the 2nd! already. Let it be a continuation of a season instead.
What is this season thing you say?
Well I can only speak for myself and say my season began with a realisation of who’s I am and what I am here for…A realisation that I am no accident or evolution but a creation with purpose.
What is your season?
Is it the season to find out what your true source is?
Is it the season to relinquish self doubt?
Is it the season to reclaim the truth about you?
Is it the season to celebrate YOU!
If I was ever going to make a New Years resolution it would be to find out all the manufacture of me, has to say about me, in His Manufactures Manuel…
What was the reason for my creation?
What are His thoughts about me?
What are the functions He has put in me
What is my particular use…? (Where and to whom was my creation for?)
For when I am whole and complete I can be effective and affective.
SO WHAT IS YOUR SEASON?
“The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder…a waif, a nothing, a no man.” Thomas Carlyle.
Hello every one, this is going to be my last post on this blog for the year 2006, as the year runs to a close, I have got reflective and thought I share this with you all.
I am so thankful for the year 2006; it was my year of UNSPEAKABLE JOY.
One would think with a year like that it was smooth sailing. I would say it was my most challenging year so far. What gave me great joy was that when the challenges came I dealt with them with wisdom and a peace that I never knew I had which encouraged me to do better.
This year I found out that my peace and my strength was in Christ Jesus and no one else. I found out that there is so much in me and more to come out!
I found out how to love me, and I am determined to take, into the rest of my life the Joy of the Lord!!! For that is the source of my strength.
Get ready! Get ready!! Get ready!!!
This is how I feel for 2007. This is (yes “is” I am not waiting for 1st of Jan to start my year, for I am stepping into the fullness of it right now) my year of Taking the limits off and expanding my boundaries.
I am expectant of what the year holds for me and how it would affect my family and those around me.
So with the Joy of the Lord and an expectant heart…Get ready 2007! watch this space
This is the year to dream dreams (big dreams)
This is the year to step out of your comfort zone
This is the year to believe in the impossible
This is the year to stop planning and DO!
This is the year to TAKE the Limits OFF!!
And have a “walk on the water” moment.
This I pray for all who are NOT ready, but have enough faith to BELIEVE!!!
Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Fabulous New Year!
What are you here for?
Who determines who you really are?
What is your mission?
To understand that, you’ll have to go back to God…
Ephesians 1 vs 7-10 says
“Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the alter of the cross, we’re free people…..Free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all out misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans He took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, and everything on the planet earth.
It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eyes on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.”
What have you got in your hands?
What ever life hands you, turn into an art form (into a weapon)
What ever has challenged you, tried to shame you turn it round and use it as a weapon to let others (be of purpose)
Be a man/woman on a mission; bring everything into submission to the mission. The only thing that can stop your mission and set in to remission are things on the inside, that are in the dark, eating you up like a cancer (bad habits) they hinder the mission.
We all struggle with different habits that don’t help the mission, bring it to the light and calling it what it is, is the first step , dealing with it through the help of the perfect gentleman in the Trinity ( Holy Spirit)
PS: He is the perfect gentleman because he will never possess you; he will never force Himself on you. When you invite Him then only with He lead.
Gain admission by going back to the Father, the price had been paid for the admission, and step into your purpose and fulfill destiny.
……The contents of the poem is what I am working to be. ( i don’t claim to know all things) or I should be in heaven if I did…. when we don’t give up we push through, not wavering, not shaking look at our fears rigth in the eye.
The poem is the essence of who I would like to be… In Christaindom we are familar with the word strongholds others know it as issues.
We all have issues or are going through at one time or another. My goal is for us to encourage one another and get rid of our issues/strongholds because they are nothing, but distractions and potholes, to frustrate you and make you give up.
IF… tells us no matter what come before you don’t give up, don’t get distrated by emotions but, stay strong and focused…Deal with your issue, for once we get that out of the way you find purpose and walk into destiny.
it’s time to deal with it…
Rudyard Kipling
IF…
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!
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