It’s been too long

Hi  guys, yes it has been way too long , guess settling down back home has had it’s own challenge, but still good. Kids are in school and I have my projects. Its been hectic and fun all rolled into one, finding out new and “amazing” things about my people(lol). My children are loving there school, that had its own challenge, but was expected…. the Nigerian educational system is very good, but IMHO still needs to not just train children on how to pass exams but why they are learning and how to apply learning ( topic for another time )

…Anyway will be back soon, just had to stop by and say Hey!

 

Help!!!

I have a little project I need to research .  So anyone that has lived or lives in the Northern part of Nigeria please your contribution would be much appreciated.

I need to about what life is like for a woman/young lay in the northern. how it effects your choice of life style, education. social life, marriage/relationship, family life and all sorts of general gist. email Refined74@googlemail.com

Last Tango in…

Man proposes God disposes, so they say….Well it seem so in my situation. I would have loved to be writing this in the heat of Lagos, but alas! It’s not to be…

All my furniture and things are having that experience at the moment without me…something came up and we have to spend one more Christmas in the UK….

Yes I am still in the cold of the UK…dreaming of my Lagos sun.As I sit on the floor typing this( it’s all back to basic guys ) …No Christmas tree or decorations…No feeling of the season, my body is here but my spirit is not ( it is in las gidi )…thinking of all my plans for Christmas in Lagos… taking the children to the beach after feasting and visiting, I think God must have a reason…He must have something better in store in January or He is just looking out for us, one way or another ….It is well!

So one more “tango in the UK” folks   I will make the best of a situation I was not looking forward to….

On the 3^rdthis month makes One year of blogging for me….How the year has flown. It has been the best and the worst of years all mixed into one…. But I would say it has been a year of Gods faithfulness… getting to know more about the layers that make me, ME.

 A year that God has shown me I am able to carry some loads I would have never believed I could… A year of seeing how far His love for me expands. A year of growth….This has been a landmark year and I am thankful.I would like to thank all that have ever left a comment on my blog….all those that have been to my blog and not left any comments…all those that have left email comments and encouragement…all those that have emailed me to say they where encouraged by my words or post, I say a big THANK YOU…GOD BLESS YOU and I look forward to many more years (God willing)

My New Year starts in September, that is when I seek God face for a word to carry into the following year/season. 2007 was “Taking the limits of God and expanding boundaries” This He sure did…I was so excited about the expanding boundaries, that I did not take in to account what it fully implied…If I was to expand my boundaries, that would also mean stepping into a boundary already occupied, at first I was not careful and did not protect myself from the assault and attack of “expanding boundaries” but soon understood that when God gives you a word it will be fulfilled, but it will never come easy, cos it is in the process of the fire you are REFINED.

This Year/Season 2008 ( yes 2008 , for I am already in my New Year) my word from God has been “Soar like an eagle….New beginnings/ new thinking…a season of separation and feeling of going it alone (some friendships will not go it with me in this year/season). Many will not understand me…but that’s ok, they are not meant to. It’s a continuation from the year before to take the limits of God and walk in my uniqueness.

The more I read about the character and attribute of an eagle it gets clearer…This time I have learnt to guard my heart, keep myself in His covering and not be arrogant to think I know anything….for it is all Him.

Have a Merry Christmas ….the reason for the season is CHRIST and nothing else…Not the trees…Not the presents…Not the food….Not clothes…..Not the drinks.

Happy New Year….may we all walk in the fullness of our purpose and fulfil DESTINY.

Till 2008.

 Thanks http://mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com for this:   

 

Closing a chapter…

 

I have dreamt of today for a couple years now..

Planned, worried and prepared…

But now,

The boxes are packed,

A house in boxes to be moved to a home.

Now it’s dawned on me…

I am leaving all I have known for nearly 20yrs,

to a new mindset…a new way… new people… wow! When all said it was a “big step” we were taking …I took no notice.

So I will not smell winter of spice and cinnamon and all that is Christmas in England…

So I will not see my morning birds that visit outside the kitchen window…Mr Robin in the winter months and Mr Magpie and friends…

And will not see the blossoms of my cerrytree in spring as it opens delicately white with a hue of pink, and the bloom of my spring garden with the daffodils and tulips in the ray of colours red, pink and yellows, and as summer warms up the bloom of the five rose bushes, Wow!

Quietly as I pack up the last boxes I get a nut in my tummy and everything seemed to move in slow motion..

Ah! A new adventure …and new chapter in the pages of my life…Lord you told me this year was going to be a year of “taking the limits off , expanding my boundaries and stepping out”

 it sure has been…I never for saw this happening …So soon, but you said “dream big dreams” and I sure did! As I and my family take this “big step” and have our “walk on the water moment” with you Lord, I am confident, excited and full of expectation of what you have in store for us in the very near future.

Home called, and I(we)answered..

A.R.K

God has chosen us all, the decision to act is yours and mine. God has asked us to do the impossible; cos He is the God of the impossible, but we let the fear of what people would say or think of us (just in case we don’t succeed)

We all have our different path to walk in this life time and all God asks for is Obedience, not qualification, not ability and not understanding of the full picture or end plan. I am finding out God always has a reason for whatever He ask of us, sometimes we know, other times we just have to trust Him.{ The bible says God’s thoughts for us are good and not of evil to give us a hope and a future } so we should be rest assured that anything He wants for us is GOOD! Although most times during the process it does not feel so…

Changing the world is possible, it can only be done with God’s help…He has given us the manual, the bible, in it He says have Faith…Trust Him…Love one another and be Obedient to His word and instructions.

Obey Gods word and He will do the impossible in our lives and through us (a privilege to be co-workers) to reach and change the world! …so let’s go and build our ARK, for when the floods come (for it will surely come) we are able to be “a safe place” for others.

We can change the world by one Act of Random Kindness.

Watching the film Evan Almighty Oh! So blessed me, yes! it empowered me to succeed!

……So let’s start by taking our blessed selves and actually be a BLESSING.

Let’s build our ARK and Change the World. 

The Woman in me (Reply to comment)

dallenia Says:

October 23, 2007 at 12:39 am e  well girl what can i say i’m so so happy for you. that the lord found you the right one indeed.
well girl i wish could say the same for me. well the last time i thought i found the right one girl .he did me wrong. he play the act he was so so nice.and then play the hard to get. i never fell inlove by my self, but it happend to me now it been,8 month i cant forget him why i dont know.it feels like acurse.i ask god to forget but he still on my mind. everyday. it like ”a never ending storie”the thing that hurt me the most i’m scared of leting myself go and be wo.  

Dear Dallenia    

 I feel for you and wish I could tell you that the experience was all about my guy but rather he was simple the vessel that God used to touch me. The poem is about my transformation process, it is the result of the journey I had to go through with God in order to let go of my fears and issues about marriage so that I can come to the place of not seeing marriage as a prison. A place where woman are nothing but slaves or so I thought but now I can see marriage differently , I now see it as a place of safety and security where I am free to accomplish all that I can be. I have finally crucified the Jezebel (the controlling spirit) in me and I have taken the mantle of Sarah, a woman of faith whose trust is in God to make any changes in her man necessary. I am free to simple love.    

As for your guy all I can say is break the soul tie and move on. If my guy were to leave today, I would be hurt but I would move on and be eternally grateful to him. What I have learnt is so valuable and precious, at times God is interested in the process and not necessarily the end result. The feelings I have is based on God’s perspective, it is about agape love, a love that has God at the centre of it. While we were yet sinners God loved us, so my guy does not have to attain a standard or do something for me to feel what I am feeling. It is looking and feeling with the eyes of God.

Be encouraged and wait for God he will bring the right one, it is well worth the wait. In the meantime let God help you deal with your issues and make you whole. There are many women out there but a woman like me, one who know her value is one in a million. I guess the truth question is how do you value yourself as a woman?   

Blessed.

Nuff said!

                                                                                                                                     

                                                                       http://www.silentday.org/index.php

Woman that do it for me…finale

Cece Winans- When I listen to her music it always ministers to me, she comes across like one that is a true worshipper- one that loves the Lord with all her being giving Him the praise in every way. Apart from being an award winning artist (six times Grammy awards winner), Dove award winner, Soul train award winner and actress… she is also a teacher and mentor…Her album Throne room is my all time favourite, not just the melody but the words always bring healing and joy to my soul, I feel sometimes listening to her songs and feel like I am intruding in her personal time with God. I most admire about her is a passion for the youth, especially young girls. In Oct of 2005, Cece developed and hosted the Always Sisters conference which focuses on support for young women ages 13-26yrs, where she offered words of encouragement and self esteem was discussed. This is her passion that young women will walk in the fullness of God glory and self worth of their everyday lives. At the conference she presented the young ladies with tiaras as a token to the girl, She said…”My prayer was that they know God and know who they are”…”He is the only one that can really teach you who you are, how beautiful you are, how powerful you are, that you deserve the best and not to settle for less” This are the kind of things I like to see and hear..Older women mentoring the younger ones and empowering them on who (we) are as women/princesses and should be treated as one by ourselves and others. Cece has been married for over 21yrs with two children (boy/girl) Cece the wife and mother has managed to balance her personal and professional lives with relatives ease….this for me is a woman living a life with purpose. 

 Oprah Winfrey- Born January 29, 1954 is the American multiple-Emmy Award winning host of The Oprah Show, the highest-rated talk show in television history. She is also an influential book critic, an Academy Award -nominated actress for The Color Purple. And a magazine publisher of O, The Oprah Magazine and O at Home. She has been ranked the richest African American of the 20th century, the most philanthropic African American of all time, and the world’s only black billionaire for three straight years. She is also, according to some assessments, the most influential woman in the world {} raised in rural poverty by her grandmother, born out of wedlock by a mother who was a housekeeper and father a coal miner, at the birth of Oprah, but later became a councilman. Regardless of background and a challenged home life she was able to rise above it all at 13yrs received a scholarship to attend Nicolet High School in the Milwaukee suburb of Glendale, Wisconsin after which she won an oratory contest, which secured her full scholarship to Tennessee State University, a historically black institution, where she studied communication. This is a woman that has accomplished so much in the world of media I could go on, but what I would like to spotlight and truly admire is her Leadership Academy for Girls  in South Africa, she intends teaching a class via satellite. Oprah is not married, but instead has been in longstanding relationship of over 20yrs with partner Stedman Graham. She never had children of her own but had this to say about the girls of her Leadership Academy….”I never had children, never even thought I would have children. Now I have 152 daughters; expecting 75 more next year. That is some type of gestation period…I said to the mothers, the family members, the aunts, the grannies — because most of these girls have lost their families, their parents — I said to them, “Your daughters are now my daughters and I promise you I’m going to take care of your daughters. I promise you.”   

I found doing the research for this list quiet reflective and it sure did reinforce things about myself that I am absolutely sure are no coincidences anymore… all the women that I admire, truly sum me up …Out of the box, Passionate, Motivational, Strong, Natural nurturers, Called to run “their own” race, Unique with a large heart of service to others and effective to their immediate society and the world!

 None of these women are perfect and have made mistakes in their lives, they have had their share of challenges and adversity, but it never stopped them…

Life must have purpose!

Who inspires you? 

Who do you admire?  

 And Why? 

Woman that do it for me…#2

Bimbo Odukoya-The very first time I saw this fast talking, energetic and passionate woman on my tv screen, I had to stop and listen, after which I had to know more about her and what drives her….She was about marriages and how to have a good one which was an interest of mine. Pastor Bimbo Odukoya was (for she is late now) an Evangelist, motivational speaker, marriage counsellor and mentor to many Nigerian youths. Apart from her teaching through the Singles and Married programme, she was also a writer and author; she has columns in several national and international including ThisDay, CityPeople, and Leadship and life style based in the UK. Her columns dwell primarily on true life experiences of both the good and bad side of married and unmarried people. Before her untimely death on in a plane crash on the 10^th of Dec 2005, she was the associate senior pastor of fountain of Life Church and President of Discovery for Women; a ministry the motives and challenges woman to discover there purpose in life and maximize their God given potential. She was married to Senior Pastor Taiwo Odukoya and had three children. May her soul rest in peace….Amen.  

Adesuwa Onyenokwe- Is it possible to just like someone you have never met? Well in the case of Adesuwa Onyenokwe, it was so. The very first time I  came across her was through her TV programme called Woman Today. Her voice was so calm and I just loved her manner and presentation…very lady like and wholesome in her opinions and views. I love the way she carries herself… with such dignity, not trying to be anything she not, she stands out in the fakeness( if that’s a word ) that is called Nigerian “celebrity”(IMO)   this was confirmed by a family friend, when in conversation her name came up and I was saying how very dignified and mature she comes across. Adesuwa read drama for her first degree at the Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-Ife, and followed it up with a master’s degree in Language Arts at the University of Ibadan in Nigeria. Her show Today’s Woman has become a source of inspiration to many women. The show was created to help fill the void at the time of lack of understanding the womenfolk and also give them a voice. She is quoted as saying “”The bottom-line is to show that there are many women out there who have such God-given qualities as empathy. And you know that to make a good leader, you have to empathise. We are good managers because by nature we manage two roles: motherhood and wifehood,” Her ideal concept of today’s woman is somebody who is in total union with God and with self, to the extent that she is beneficial to humanity. This is why she features on her programme women who should serve as role models to others, especially the younger ones. Since she started presenting Today’s Woman on TV in 2000, many women of substance who have made their mark in the society have been featured {taken from an interview with Newswatch}. Born August 8, 1963, in Ibadan, Oyo State, Onyenokwe is the fifth of eleven children, she is married to Ikechukwu Onyenokwe, an engineer and management consultant with 6 children (3boys and 3girls)

2 to go …

Women that do it for me…

 As part of Black history month in the United Kingdom, I would like to present Seven Black Women I admire and would like to celebrate …. 

1- Mrs Clara Onelum, You may not all know her but I do, she is my “mummy” She is an inspiration and note worthy.She is passionate and devoted to her children and family, an example of a woman, Classy, hardworking and committed. My mother has always been my first role model. She worked in the bank for 16yrs, refused promotion so as not to be away from raising her then very young  children, So to keep herself busy and fuel  her entrepreneurial spirit, she qualified as a hair dresser/stylist from Revlon in the States, opened her own salon first in the house and then later expanded it to a shop next door with a dressmaking section to it…she had a wholesale distributorship too all she did from home…no matter how busy she was we always sat together for our meals which she cooked ( that left a lasting impression on me) she was able to be a mom and also be productive and fulfilled…she later went to catering school and qualified as a chef which she did in the UK until she retired 5yrs ago…but that has not stopped her. I could go on but will stop there

 2-    Nike Davies Okundaye – Now when Vanity Fair was looking to have “African” Icons on its cover why was Nike not part of it I say! She can only be described by me with one word as an enigma! She is naturally talented and creative. She is one of Nigeria’s most successful contemporary artiste, and the very few to gain international reputations as an artist and designer, all this from a woman with no formal training. At a very young age learnt indigo weaving and dyeing ( Adire) from her great-grandmother. She refused an arranged marriage and ran away with a theatre group. To read more about how she gained independence and escaped the violence and abuse of her first husband and how she has developed a centre of the arts in Lagos, Oshogbo in Ogun state and Ogidi in Kogi state of Nigeria and also how she is helping rural women gain financial freedom as well as build up their self esteem by training them in the arts of Adire. http://nikeart.com/main.htm  and read her biography http://blackartstudio.com/Nikespage.htm  

3- Maya Angelou- She is a woman of great substance and elegance a true beauty. She is one of many of the contemporary voices of literature…Her poetry, like one of her own many titles are just “Phenomenal” (Phenomenal Woman is my all time favourite poem of hers) she is an historian, bestselling author, play write, civil-rights activist and I hear producer and director too…The beauty of her words and lyrical flow just blows me away..Her original name is Marguerite Johnson. Her book I know why the caged bird sings was about her childhood,  spent between her grandmother in rural, segregated Stamps, Arkansas and St.Louis, Missouri where her mother lived, her rape at 8yrs by her mother’s boyfriend  to age sixteen and with the birth of her son, by the time she was in her early twenties she was a Creole  cook, a streetcar conductor, a cocktail waitress a dancer, a madam and unwed mother, the following decades saw her emerge as a successful singer, actress and playwright, an English-language magazine in Egypt, a lecturer and civil rights activist. In 1993 Angelou gave a moving reading of her poem On the pulse of morning at Bill Clinton’s Presidential inauguration which gave her wide recognition

Poetry break….

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a womanPhenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, ‘Cause I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Maya Angelou

3 down 4 to go…

Yesterday…

Yesterday I said a enough is a enough!!

Yesterday I decided to truly trust in Him

Yesterday old struggles that tried to rise up where put down

Yesterday pains and worries where put back on the altar (not looking back, this time)

Yesterday a rebirth, not looking to man, but to God, for He knows the beginning and end of me…

What are you going to leave in your yesterday?

 Stay strong people…..