It’s been too long

Hi  guys, yes it has been way too long , guess settling down back home has had it’s own challenge, but still good. Kids are in school and I have my projects. Its been hectic and fun all rolled into one, finding out new and “amazing” things about my people(lol). My children are loving there school, that had its own challenge, but was expected…. the Nigerian educational system is very good, but IMHO still needs to not just train children on how to pass exams but why they are learning and how to apply learning ( topic for another time )

…Anyway will be back soon, just had to stop by and say Hey!

 

Help!!!

I have a little project I need to research .  So anyone that has lived or lives in the Northern part of Nigeria please your contribution would be much appreciated.

I need to about what life is like for a woman/young lay in the northern. how it effects your choice of life style, education. social life, marriage/relationship, family life and all sorts of general gist. email Refined74@googlemail.com

Last Tango in…

Man proposes God disposes, so they say….Well it seem so in my situation. I would have loved to be writing this in the heat of Lagos, but alas! It’s not to be…

All my furniture and things are having that experience at the moment without me…something came up and we have to spend one more Christmas in the UK….

Yes I am still in the cold of the UK…dreaming of my Lagos sun.As I sit on the floor typing this( it’s all back to basic guys ) …No Christmas tree or decorations…No feeling of the season, my body is here but my spirit is not ( it is in las gidi )…thinking of all my plans for Christmas in Lagos… taking the children to the beach after feasting and visiting, I think God must have a reason…He must have something better in store in January or He is just looking out for us, one way or another ….It is well!

So one more “tango in the UK” folks   I will make the best of a situation I was not looking forward to….

On the 3^rdthis month makes One year of blogging for me….How the year has flown. It has been the best and the worst of years all mixed into one…. But I would say it has been a year of Gods faithfulness… getting to know more about the layers that make me, ME.

 A year that God has shown me I am able to carry some loads I would have never believed I could… A year of seeing how far His love for me expands. A year of growth….This has been a landmark year and I am thankful.I would like to thank all that have ever left a comment on my blog….all those that have been to my blog and not left any comments…all those that have left email comments and encouragement…all those that have emailed me to say they where encouraged by my words or post, I say a big THANK YOU…GOD BLESS YOU and I look forward to many more years (God willing)

My New Year starts in September, that is when I seek God face for a word to carry into the following year/season. 2007 was “Taking the limits of God and expanding boundaries” This He sure did…I was so excited about the expanding boundaries, that I did not take in to account what it fully implied…If I was to expand my boundaries, that would also mean stepping into a boundary already occupied, at first I was not careful and did not protect myself from the assault and attack of “expanding boundaries” but soon understood that when God gives you a word it will be fulfilled, but it will never come easy, cos it is in the process of the fire you are REFINED.

This Year/Season 2008 ( yes 2008 , for I am already in my New Year) my word from God has been “Soar like an eagle….New beginnings/ new thinking…a season of separation and feeling of going it alone (some friendships will not go it with me in this year/season). Many will not understand me…but that’s ok, they are not meant to. It’s a continuation from the year before to take the limits of God and walk in my uniqueness.

The more I read about the character and attribute of an eagle it gets clearer…This time I have learnt to guard my heart, keep myself in His covering and not be arrogant to think I know anything….for it is all Him.

Have a Merry Christmas ….the reason for the season is CHRIST and nothing else…Not the trees…Not the presents…Not the food….Not clothes…..Not the drinks.

Happy New Year….may we all walk in the fullness of our purpose and fulfil DESTINY.

Till 2008.

 Thanks http://mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com for this:   

 

Closing a chapter…

 

I have dreamt of today for a couple years now..

Planned, worried and prepared…

But now,

The boxes are packed,

A house in boxes to be moved to a home.

Now it’s dawned on me…

I am leaving all I have known for nearly 20yrs,

to a new mindset…a new way… new people… wow! When all said it was a “big step” we were taking …I took no notice.

So I will not smell winter of spice and cinnamon and all that is Christmas in England…

So I will not see my morning birds that visit outside the kitchen window…Mr Robin in the winter months and Mr Magpie and friends…

And will not see the blossoms of my cerrytree in spring as it opens delicately white with a hue of pink, and the bloom of my spring garden with the daffodils and tulips in the ray of colours red, pink and yellows, and as summer warms up the bloom of the five rose bushes, Wow!

Quietly as I pack up the last boxes I get a nut in my tummy and everything seemed to move in slow motion..

Ah! A new adventure …and new chapter in the pages of my life…Lord you told me this year was going to be a year of “taking the limits off , expanding my boundaries and stepping out”

 it sure has been…I never for saw this happening …So soon, but you said “dream big dreams” and I sure did! As I and my family take this “big step” and have our “walk on the water moment” with you Lord, I am confident, excited and full of expectation of what you have in store for us in the very near future.

Home called, and I(we)answered..

A.R.K

God has chosen us all, the decision to act is yours and mine. God has asked us to do the impossible; cos He is the God of the impossible, but we let the fear of what people would say or think of us (just in case we don’t succeed)

We all have our different path to walk in this life time and all God asks for is Obedience, not qualification, not ability and not understanding of the full picture or end plan. I am finding out God always has a reason for whatever He ask of us, sometimes we know, other times we just have to trust Him.{ The bible says God’s thoughts for us are good and not of evil to give us a hope and a future } so we should be rest assured that anything He wants for us is GOOD! Although most times during the process it does not feel so…

Changing the world is possible, it can only be done with God’s help…He has given us the manual, the bible, in it He says have Faith…Trust Him…Love one another and be Obedient to His word and instructions.

Obey Gods word and He will do the impossible in our lives and through us (a privilege to be co-workers) to reach and change the world! …so let’s go and build our ARK, for when the floods come (for it will surely come) we are able to be “a safe place” for others.

We can change the world by one Act of Random Kindness.

Watching the film Evan Almighty Oh! So blessed me, yes! it empowered me to succeed!

……So let’s start by taking our blessed selves and actually be a BLESSING.

Let’s build our ARK and Change the World. 

The Woman in me (Reply to comment)

dallenia Says:

October 23, 2007 at 12:39 am e  well girl what can i say i’m so so happy for you. that the lord found you the right one indeed.
well girl i wish could say the same for me. well the last time i thought i found the right one girl .he did me wrong. he play the act he was so so nice.and then play the hard to get. i never fell inlove by my self, but it happend to me now it been,8 month i cant forget him why i dont know.it feels like acurse.i ask god to forget but he still on my mind. everyday. it like ”a never ending storie”the thing that hurt me the most i’m scared of leting myself go and be wo.  

Dear Dallenia    

 I feel for you and wish I could tell you that the experience was all about my guy but rather he was simple the vessel that God used to touch me. The poem is about my transformation process, it is the result of the journey I had to go through with God in order to let go of my fears and issues about marriage so that I can come to the place of not seeing marriage as a prison. A place where woman are nothing but slaves or so I thought but now I can see marriage differently , I now see it as a place of safety and security where I am free to accomplish all that I can be. I have finally crucified the Jezebel (the controlling spirit) in me and I have taken the mantle of Sarah, a woman of faith whose trust is in God to make any changes in her man necessary. I am free to simple love.    

As for your guy all I can say is break the soul tie and move on. If my guy were to leave today, I would be hurt but I would move on and be eternally grateful to him. What I have learnt is so valuable and precious, at times God is interested in the process and not necessarily the end result. The feelings I have is based on God’s perspective, it is about agape love, a love that has God at the centre of it. While we were yet sinners God loved us, so my guy does not have to attain a standard or do something for me to feel what I am feeling. It is looking and feeling with the eyes of God.

Be encouraged and wait for God he will bring the right one, it is well worth the wait. In the meantime let God help you deal with your issues and make you whole. There are many women out there but a woman like me, one who know her value is one in a million. I guess the truth question is how do you value yourself as a woman?   

Blessed.

Nuff said!

                                                                                                                                     

                                                                       http://www.silentday.org/index.php

Woman that do it for me…finale

Cece Winans- When I listen to her music it always ministers to me, she comes across like one that is a true worshipper- one that loves the Lord with all her being giving Him the praise in every way. Apart from being an award winning artist (six times Grammy awards winner), Dove award winner, Soul train award winner and actress… she is also a teacher and mentor…Her album Throne room is my all time favourite, not just the melody but the words always bring healing and joy to my soul, I feel sometimes listening to her songs and feel like I am intruding in her personal time with God. I most admire about her is a passion for the youth, especially young girls. In Oct of 2005, Cece developed and hosted the Always Sisters conference which focuses on support for young women ages 13-26yrs, where she offered words of encouragement and self esteem was discussed. This is her passion that young women will walk in the fullness of God glory and self worth of their everyday lives. At the conference she presented the young ladies with tiaras as a token to the girl, She said…”My prayer was that they know God and know who they are”…”He is the only one that can really teach you who you are, how beautiful you are, how powerful you are, that you deserve the best and not to settle for less” This are the kind of things I like to see and hear..Older women mentoring the younger ones and empowering them on who (we) are as women/princesses and should be treated as one by ourselves and others. Cece has been married for over 21yrs with two children (boy/girl) Cece the wife and mother has managed to balance her personal and professional lives with relatives ease….this for me is a woman living a life with purpose. 

 Oprah Winfrey- Born January 29, 1954 is the American multiple-Emmy Award winning host of The Oprah Show, the highest-rated talk show in television history. She is also an influential book critic, an Academy Award -nominated actress for The Color Purple. And a magazine publisher of O, The Oprah Magazine and O at Home. She has been ranked the richest African American of the 20th century, the most philanthropic African American of all time, and the world’s only black billionaire for three straight years. She is also, according to some assessments, the most influential woman in the world {} raised in rural poverty by her grandmother, born out of wedlock by a mother who was a housekeeper and father a coal miner, at the birth of Oprah, but later became a councilman. Regardless of background and a challenged home life she was able to rise above it all at 13yrs received a scholarship to attend Nicolet High School in the Milwaukee suburb of Glendale, Wisconsin after which she won an oratory contest, which secured her full scholarship to Tennessee State University, a historically black institution, where she studied communication. This is a woman that has accomplished so much in the world of media I could go on, but what I would like to spotlight and truly admire is her Leadership Academy for Girls  in South Africa, she intends teaching a class via satellite. Oprah is not married, but instead has been in longstanding relationship of over 20yrs with partner Stedman Graham. She never had children of her own but had this to say about the girls of her Leadership Academy….”I never had children, never even thought I would have children. Now I have 152 daughters; expecting 75 more next year. That is some type of gestation period…I said to the mothers, the family members, the aunts, the grannies — because most of these girls have lost their families, their parents — I said to them, “Your daughters are now my daughters and I promise you I’m going to take care of your daughters. I promise you.”   

I found doing the research for this list quiet reflective and it sure did reinforce things about myself that I am absolutely sure are no coincidences anymore… all the women that I admire, truly sum me up …Out of the box, Passionate, Motivational, Strong, Natural nurturers, Called to run “their own” race, Unique with a large heart of service to others and effective to their immediate society and the world!

 None of these women are perfect and have made mistakes in their lives, they have had their share of challenges and adversity, but it never stopped them…

Life must have purpose!

Who inspires you? 

Who do you admire?  

 And Why? 

Woman that do it for me…#2

Bimbo Odukoya-The very first time I saw this fast talking, energetic and passionate woman on my tv screen, I had to stop and listen, after which I had to know more about her and what drives her….She was about marriages and how to have a good one which was an interest of mine. Pastor Bimbo Odukoya was (for she is late now) an Evangelist, motivational speaker, marriage counsellor and mentor to many Nigerian youths. Apart from her teaching through the Singles and Married programme, she was also a writer and author; she has columns in several national and international including ThisDay, CityPeople, and Leadship and life style based in the UK. Her columns dwell primarily on true life experiences of both the good and bad side of married and unmarried people. Before her untimely death on in a plane crash on the 10^th of Dec 2005, she was the associate senior pastor of fountain of Life Church and President of Discovery for Women; a ministry the motives and challenges woman to discover there purpose in life and maximize their God given potential. She was married to Senior Pastor Taiwo Odukoya and had three children. May her soul rest in peace….Amen.  

Adesuwa Onyenokwe- Is it possible to just like someone you have never met? Well in the case of Adesuwa Onyenokwe, it was so. The very first time I  came across her was through her TV programme called Woman Today. Her voice was so calm and I just loved her manner and presentation…very lady like and wholesome in her opinions and views. I love the way she carries herself… with such dignity, not trying to be anything she not, she stands out in the fakeness( if that’s a word ) that is called Nigerian “celebrity”(IMO)   this was confirmed by a family friend, when in conversation her name came up and I was saying how very dignified and mature she comes across. Adesuwa read drama for her first degree at the Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-Ife, and followed it up with a master’s degree in Language Arts at the University of Ibadan in Nigeria. Her show Today’s Woman has become a source of inspiration to many women. The show was created to help fill the void at the time of lack of understanding the womenfolk and also give them a voice. She is quoted as saying “”The bottom-line is to show that there are many women out there who have such God-given qualities as empathy. And you know that to make a good leader, you have to empathise. We are good managers because by nature we manage two roles: motherhood and wifehood,” Her ideal concept of today’s woman is somebody who is in total union with God and with self, to the extent that she is beneficial to humanity. This is why she features on her programme women who should serve as role models to others, especially the younger ones. Since she started presenting Today’s Woman on TV in 2000, many women of substance who have made their mark in the society have been featured {taken from an interview with Newswatch}. Born August 8, 1963, in Ibadan, Oyo State, Onyenokwe is the fifth of eleven children, she is married to Ikechukwu Onyenokwe, an engineer and management consultant with 6 children (3boys and 3girls)

2 to go …

Women that do it for me…

 As part of Black history month in the United Kingdom, I would like to present Seven Black Women I admire and would like to celebrate …. 

1- Mrs Clara Onelum, You may not all know her but I do, she is my “mummy” She is an inspiration and note worthy.She is passionate and devoted to her children and family, an example of a woman, Classy, hardworking and committed. My mother has always been my first role model. She worked in the bank for 16yrs, refused promotion so as not to be away from raising her then very young  children, So to keep herself busy and fuel  her entrepreneurial spirit, she qualified as a hair dresser/stylist from Revlon in the States, opened her own salon first in the house and then later expanded it to a shop next door with a dressmaking section to it…she had a wholesale distributorship too all she did from home…no matter how busy she was we always sat together for our meals which she cooked ( that left a lasting impression on me) she was able to be a mom and also be productive and fulfilled…she later went to catering school and qualified as a chef which she did in the UK until she retired 5yrs ago…but that has not stopped her. I could go on but will stop there

 2-    Nike Davies Okundaye – Now when Vanity Fair was looking to have “African” Icons on its cover why was Nike not part of it I say! She can only be described by me with one word as an enigma! She is naturally talented and creative. She is one of Nigeria’s most successful contemporary artiste, and the very few to gain international reputations as an artist and designer, all this from a woman with no formal training. At a very young age learnt indigo weaving and dyeing ( Adire) from her great-grandmother. She refused an arranged marriage and ran away with a theatre group. To read more about how she gained independence and escaped the violence and abuse of her first husband and how she has developed a centre of the arts in Lagos, Oshogbo in Ogun state and Ogidi in Kogi state of Nigeria and also how she is helping rural women gain financial freedom as well as build up their self esteem by training them in the arts of Adire. http://nikeart.com/main.htm  and read her biography http://blackartstudio.com/Nikespage.htm  

3- Maya Angelou- She is a woman of great substance and elegance a true beauty. She is one of many of the contemporary voices of literature…Her poetry, like one of her own many titles are just “Phenomenal” (Phenomenal Woman is my all time favourite poem of hers) she is an historian, bestselling author, play write, civil-rights activist and I hear producer and director too…The beauty of her words and lyrical flow just blows me away..Her original name is Marguerite Johnson. Her book I know why the caged bird sings was about her childhood,  spent between her grandmother in rural, segregated Stamps, Arkansas and St.Louis, Missouri where her mother lived, her rape at 8yrs by her mother’s boyfriend  to age sixteen and with the birth of her son, by the time she was in her early twenties she was a Creole  cook, a streetcar conductor, a cocktail waitress a dancer, a madam and unwed mother, the following decades saw her emerge as a successful singer, actress and playwright, an English-language magazine in Egypt, a lecturer and civil rights activist. In 1993 Angelou gave a moving reading of her poem On the pulse of morning at Bill Clinton’s Presidential inauguration which gave her wide recognition

Poetry break….

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a womanPhenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, ‘Cause I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Maya Angelou

3 down 4 to go…

Yesterday…

Yesterday I said a enough is a enough!!

Yesterday I decided to truly trust in Him

Yesterday old struggles that tried to rise up where put down

Yesterday pains and worries where put back on the altar (not looking back, this time)

Yesterday a rebirth, not looking to man, but to God, for He knows the beginning and end of me…

What are you going to leave in your yesterday?

 Stay strong people…..   

The adventure called Motherhood… are you ready?

Artist : Mufu Onifade

Title: Omu iya du (Mothers mike is sweet)

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations….” But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give
it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter’s hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.

Authour Unknown.

7yrs…

 

 

On  one rainy Sunday morning  they both came together gather with friends and family to say “again” and renew their earlier vows to themselves….This time they did not repeat what was presented to them as is done, both each wrote their hearts commitment towards the other.

She said- in a sea of tears (for she can be emotional like that)…

I in the present of God, family and friends… I promise to comfort, encourage, and do you only good, as long as there is life within me. I promise to pray for you and lift you up before God. I promise to be the wife, mother, companion, friend and lover that you will be proud of. I promise to help meet and accomplish the purpose God has given you. I promise to reverence and honour you, to love you with the God kind of love. The love without conditions and not based on emotions. I promise before God, family and friends that I will not tolerate resentment and unforgiveness eroding what we are building together. I am thanking God for He has already given me the grace and empowerment to keep my vows to you.

He said-Holding back the tears, but a little making its way down the side…

I vow to sit in the presence of El-shaddai .To deliver His wealth, counsel and wisdom so we can raise Godly seeds, worthy soldiers in the last day army of Jesus. I vow to continually show my gratitude and appreciation for the early sacrifices you made to make our life together possible. As I thank you for your continuing devotion and faith, please know that you have all my gratitude, respect and love. For you have been a wonderful inspiration, support and help. My vow is to continue to find newer and fresher ways to give you everything a woman of virtue like you deserves. I thank the Father and you for the gifts which you made my life complete.

Since then 7yrs ago, many trails and tribulation have come, storms and floods have shaken the foundation of their love, marriage and even faith …yet they STOOD!

Never settling for second best and compromises, brutally honest with themselves (that was what made them unique), they said hurtful and sometimes unforgivable (but forgivable by grace)things to one another, things  they never thought  they would ever say to one another …did things they never thought they would do to one another…yet they STOOD!

It has been beautiful never the less, there union has be blessed with little angels from above( naughty sometimesJ)  each with their  unique contribution to the fold, with a bound of love for one another that could never be broken….and they STOOD!

They stood, for they kept it real…in their case it seemed it had to get bad (real bad before it could get better) or should I say fantastic!  To solve a problem and enjoy the benefits, one has to get to the root cause, be honest, get good council and deal with it… Ignorance and darkness is where the evil one lives and breeds, but in God there can only be truth and light to set you free…

True freedom and joy in a marriage comes with a price… one of sacrifice, honesty, openness and most of all Love! (Not puppy, butterflies in my stomach love) but the Love of God… that says” I will love even when I don’t feel like” “I will love you, cos I am committed to you”

….By the Lord’s grace and mercy they loved one another, stood by one another, was gracious and understanding.

Now years have passed, they are older (ok, more mature) there love has and is “maturing” into fine wine and not fizzy pop! …with each year there love grows stronger and sweeter!

So when you see them and say … I want a marriage like so and so…..you at better ask them there journey and see whether you are ready to travel that road or better still, just ask God to show you your own road and how to make your own marriage work for you!

Every marriage and every couple is unique and will be refined by their own unique FIRE!!

Blessings.

                    

This is what 10yrs investment looks like…

 I would like to give my baby girl a shout-out as she celebrated a land mark Birthday on the 30^th of August..She is my little miracle baby, born 6weeks early weighing 1.9kg. I am so proud of you…My Ruchelle Aisosa Chizoba aka Ruchie, you are the best first born I could have had, you are such an example to your younger brother and sister, and also a great help to me. I find it so sweet how your beautiful dark eyes water (gets teary) any time you’re a paid a compliment, your smile, so captivating, not to mention your intelligent and creative mind…

PS: congratulation on making school council

Happy 10^th Birthday my Ruchie-girl

  

 We love you and pray all of God’s blessing in your life.

May you fulfil your purpose and walk in the 

 fullness of your destiny in this lifetime.

Amen!

Love always,

Digby aka Daddy, Mumruch aka Mummy, 

Lijipoo aka Elijah-baptiste

and  Princess Jo-jo aka Jeunelle.

EVERY LIFE HAS BEEN CREATED FOR A PURPOSE AND A PLAN…

 

What is the PURPOSE of this gift to you called LIFE?

 

Thanks for sharing this Tokunbo – www.mypenmypaper.wordpress.com

Love and Mercy!

This is especially for you ….

Ashe of www.asheselah.wordpress.com

Sister-Friend Alicam and baby sis’ T.

Stay strong! Girls

Investment in re-connecting…The Wife,The Mother,The Lover too!

 

Romance and a good sex life help fuel a marriage, so it cannot be neglected. I think it’s a good idea that we recharge our romance from time to time to keep the flames going…

Sex and romance in marriage does not have to be boring and predictable, but fresh and exciting!

Before the romance rules of engagement in marriage are rolled out, what has to be in place first are the 3c’s

Communication…  Communication… Communication…

Honest communications of what each of you like or dislike. Your wants and needs. There should be time of experimenting, to get a feel for what suits you or your spouse.

 Other things  take up the time for romance in a marriage…kids, work, business or general day to day running’s.

We make time for the kids, work and church activities, but not for romance in our marriage…all our energy and time is spent on other parts of the marriage life and none for romance, then we wonder why so called happy marriages run into trouble, why the love is lost after sometime and you hear couples say “we have lost that spark we use to have” or “the honeymoon period is over”.

Why will it not be over and the spark gone when we stopped doing what kept the spark and made the honeymoon so sweet? Get all your senses going and begin…

The rules of re-engagement are as follows:

1) It is more than sex!

2) Sight… Turn your bedroom into a love nets (the bedroom is not just for sleeping) make it into your little oasis hide away. Decorate it with fresh flowers or artificial ones whatever suits your fancy…keep it clean and clear of clutter. Let you imagination run wild in there, remember it’s your hideaway oasis.

3) Smell…Get the room smelling fresh. Smell affects the way we feel and react, so get that going again…Find out about aromatherapy oils…a woman should always be smelling fresh…and guys we like you just as fresh and clean too.

4) Sound…Music is always a great mood changer… get the right sound going be it jazz or any other instrumental, find out what you both like to hear that is relaxing…Ladies, your voice is another great tool, so use it, tone it down if you naturally speak loud, let him know you are in a romantic mood by your tone and if you naturally speak softly … well your already a steps ahead.

5) Taste…They say the way to a man’s heart is his stomach, well if, even Esther knew that, and we saw how being the perfect hostess did the tick for her in disarming her enemy. Cook him is favourite meal just for him or surprise him with something different an example could be finger food, like feeding him fresh fruits (yes I said feeding each other)

6) Touch…Oh! Yes the touch…from the moment we are born the touch is important. When a child is hurt they run to their mother for a hug to comfort. We enjoy and look forward to this, be it by a hug, or a kiss or a caress. Touch helps form a connection between husband and wife, do you notice how when you are not happy with your spouse you don’t even want to touch them or be touched by them. I read an article that said a touch, like a kiss or a hug arouses the tiny blood vessel beneath the skin…(Be careful who you are touching o!) Remember it’s your own wife or your own husband. Giving each other massages is a way of connecting by touch, you can either learn how to give a good massage or just go with what you feel (it is all about the touch) so you don’t need to be an expert, but it can be handy in learning pressure points to add to the relaxation.

So let’s get back to the rules of engagement and reconnect with our HUSBAND OR WIFE. ( I know this is directed to my sister-friends but hopefully the guys can pick up a few things too)

… reinvest in reconnecting! Don’t just think about it….act!

If not married yet, good tips for the future..

Accuser of the brethren!!! Enterpreneur!!!and Pastor!!! REVEALED!!

…It’s Yomi Adegboye of yomisays.com blog, I dedicate this song to you ….listen to the words very well Sir!

 

In no particular order of importance …. 

Rick Warren, Billy Graham, BishopT.D. Jakes, Max Lucado, John Maxwell, Charles Swindoll, JerryFalwell, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer Paul Crouch, Pastors William Shaw, Rod Parsley, Robert Schuller, John Hagee, Kenneth Copeland, Reinhard Bonnke, Daivd Oyedipo,
Chris Oyakilome, Crefllo Dollar, Enoch Adeboye, Sam Amaga, Matthew Ashimolowo, Tom Samson, Kathryn Kuhlman,
Aimee Semple Mcpherson, Maria Woodworth Etter, Joel Osteen ….and many more

He calls all these people and their Ministry false teachers and deceivers.…Here are a couple of quotes from him about when his “eyes opened”  

 “ For years, I was deceived and entrenched in the Word of faith cloud. I devoured, believed and taught the materials of Hagin, Copeland, Dollar, Oyedepo, Oyakhilome, and the like. But somewhere along the line God got my attention.” “Then I ran into a website where the writer took apart the teachings of some of these men in the light of Scriptures”

 After the website “opened his eyes” he then decided to read his bible….hmm? should it not have been the other way round Sir?  

Women in Ministry….

“Structurally, we had women in pulpit roles. I saw from God’s word that this was an aberration – a clear deviation from Biblical teachings and examples.”

…after his experience with “this website” please listen to what changes he made in his church.

“Probably the hardest part of the entire process was the fact that ALL of us had to throw away so many things we had individually and collectively said that the Holy Spirit told us. This came up because as we studied God’s word, we saw that the Bible was clear on those issues and as such the Holy Spirit could not have told us – and certainly did not tell us – any of those things” ….( how interesting?)

…so how can we be sure about your new teaching now sir?

Now I have no intention in debating doctrine here with anyone, that is for yourself, your bible and the Holy Spirit ( Oops! Yomi does not hear from the HS anymore cos he is the new HS, thanks to the “website”)

Why I wrote this post is to say….

If the “Man of God” so loves the word of God and God’s children then he should remember we are one body, working together to bring Gods Kingdom down and show His grace, mercy and most of all Love.Why does he not send a letter, organise meetings and talk with his brothers/sister (Oops again, I forget women are not meant to preach the word of God)…. anyway his brothers and sit in love and the true edification of the body and “reason” together as the bible says. 

Question for you? Tell us O! Righteous one, WHO are the people that preach the word of God according to you and “the website”

Show us the way, for we would not know if you do not tell us….     

Accuser of the brethren!!! Enterpreneur!!!and Pastor!!!

Hello all, hope we all had a pleasant weekend and those that where able to celebrate with their fathers did so.It’s good to know we ALL have a heavenly Father that loves us unconditionally, that for ever protects and has made ALL provision available for our wellbeing.With His hands opened we can freely come to Him and call Him Father!  

Father God I thank you! 

 I am a Christian and love the lord with all my heart, I am not religious but, one with a personal relationship with God the Father, Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit. I am not perfect, I make mistakes and still have things I struggle with.I thank God, for I can do nothing to attain or sustain perfection all by myself. What make me righteous ( right standing, able to be called righteous ) and able to stand before God almighty is not my “good deeds” or “good behaviour” it not my intelligence or lack of it…it’s not the eloquence of my words , wealth or fame, but simply the fact that I have ask Jesus in to my life as Lord and saviour and He with the sheared blood of Calvary has washed me and now God the Father sees me through the blood of God the Son, Jesus Christ.

For it is in Him I am made righteous!

I enjoy blogging and the freedom of expression, people can say what they have a passion for, it helps build networks and gets like minded people miles apart to share and grow in there ideas..It creates friendships…We all have our different points of view, but all are still respected…at least some do, these brings me to my topic for this post….which is going to be in two parts.

I find it really saddening and to be honest down right angry when in this blog village of ours ….one that calls himself a  Christian, does not but do the work of the devil and tear down others that are of one blood and family (apparently he is the only one that has the mind and knows the mind of God) …I call him the “righteousness police”, he has taken the place of the HolySpirit, but I guess God has not informed the rest of us!

 The one I refer to is a Nigerian blogger and “entrepreneur” based in Nigeria (guess he would do anything to get attention) This is something I would not normally do, but I believe it’s fair, as he does not have any sensitivity, respect or plain and simply; does not have the Spirit of God in him (IMO) based on his conduct.

All he does is ridicule, Christian Ministries all over the world and in Nigeria with his arrogant, haughty , self righteous ,wicked, insulting, holier than thou tone! (I don’t see the fruit of the spirit in any of those characteristics) If you do please let me know.The bible tell us to question/test doctrines…Religion should never be the opium of the people…we should not shut our heads and reasoning faculty in the name of religion, but ask questions, read the word of God for ourselves, pray for understanding and wisdom to implement what we learn, for the edify of ourselves and others, never forgetting the Love of God.

But this is not what this person does…and that is why I have called him the ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN!!!!! What is worst is he is a Pastor of his own ministry…

Do you know him yet?

 More to come….

Our Father…

Our Father….On the 3 Sunday of the month of June, 17^th to be precise will be Father’s day, so I taught we talk about the office of a Father and celebrate them . A lot of people may not have had a good experience with there fathers, but some have and still do.With the increase or single mothers and teenage pregnancy the role of fathers is beginning to get distorted and even lost…young man are not taking up the responsibility, maybe because a lot of them never had a father/father figure in there lives too ( it hard to reproduce what you never had) Just getting a girl pregnant does not make you a father…A fathers role in a child’s life consists of love, protection, provision, direction and correction

To expand on this further I would like to introduce a lady that her blog has become a daily read for me, she is inspiring and eloquent as she explains her different topics, and I know she will do just that with this topic, I give you Olubola Oluyemi of www.mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com

Fatherhood is the state of being a father. It is the ability to hold the position and authority of a father in the family. In the holy bible “Fathers” is used in the sense of seniors, and of parents in general, or ancestors.

God’s fatherhood should be a typical example for all; it emphasizes the irreplaceable role of fathers in our individual lives.

The most important predictor of criminal behaviour is not race, not income, not religious affiliation. It’s a father influence. It is important that men know that bringing up children is a very important part of their life.

 The greatest praise that men can give to motherhood is for them to share in the role because the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home determines how the children turns out and this also determines the future and survival of any nation.

Fathers as Mentors/Mentors as Fathers….
Serving as a trusted counsellor or teacher to another person. Most children develop their perception of life by merely watching their parents. Children’s image of their father may have possibly affected their perception of God, which in turn affects their self-image. When a child has a negative perception of his father or the father figure in his life it is possible that the child will develop a negative attitude towards others.

For example:
If your father is pushy, inconsiderate of you, violate and used you, you may see others in the same way. You probably feel cheap or worthless in their eyes, and perhaps feel that you deserve to be taken advantage of by others. You may feel that even God will force you—not ask you—to do things you don’t want to do.
Also if your father is a weakling, and you couldn’t’t depend on him to help you or defend you, your image of God and other people may be that of a weakling. You may feel that you are unworthy of people’s comfort and support, or that they are unable to help you. If your father is overly critical and constantly came down hard on you, or if he didn’t believe in you or your capabilities and discouraged you from trying, you may perceive people in the same way. You don’t feel as if you’re worth other’s respect or trust. You may even see yourself as a continual failure, deserving all the criticism you receive.

But when you have a positive perception of your father or mentor, you’re likely to have a positive attitude towards others, God and future.

Author: Olubola Oluyemi.

So I say to all those men that have walked and are walking in the office of Fatherhood…we celebrate you!For those about to step into this office we encourage you and say; it is a privilege to be able to influence a generation.

On the 17^th please take time out to celebrate our Fathers and Father figures.

Let it not be only one day in the year…but continuously.

For those who there Daddy is no more with us…..This is for you.

Father’s Day 07 @AfricanLoft

Who’s your daddy?

Why do I love my Father aka Dadddyyyy! So?

I’ll tell you….

He was the first man in my life and showed me how I was to be treated in the future, with love (yes! Official card-carrying member of “daddy’s pet club)  Sitting at his foot, looking up at this man with his strong arms that made me feel protected, wide smile (mine is just like his) He was my template for the future of what I would desire in a man… (Husband) strong manly man, loving, intellectual and God fearing.

Listening to highlife music takes me back to the times of innocence, when he would wake up at the weekends, wearing his silk like, gold and brown patterned morning coat over his brown pj’s sitting in the veranda with his morning coffee, black with 6cubes of sugar, 2 boiled eggs with some salt in the side ( now I see why I love the smell of coffee so much and why browns/gold are my favourite colours) all this he did while reading his morning paper and sometimes talking to neighbourhood electrician or one of the other neighbours that live in the compound.

Now I know why I love music so…cos he opened our ears to a varied type of music… with his LP collection from Bobby Benson , Art Alade, Marian Makibe, Mayanka belle, Nat King Cole, Sinatra, and all the classic like Mozart to Handle, what did he not have in his collection?..Ah! Not to forget Fela, Voice of the cross…whoa! It brings tears to me eyes… Why should I not love this man that contributed to the making of Me! …No one is perfect… and he is not…. Nevertheless, he is my Daddy! And I love him so.Happy Father’s Day … Daddy!Want to say alittle something about your Father…check out http://community.africanloft.com ….go on say it in words, picture or video!Father’s Day 17th of June……

Celebrate Father’s Day on AfricanLoft and Win a Prize!

 

Who’s your Daddy?

Event: Celebrate Father’s Day (June 17) and win a $50 Amazon gift-card!

Venue: AfricanLoft Community

Time: Now till June 17*, 2007. * Use your time zone

What: Share a piece on your Dad or father-figure

How:

1. Write a short story on your father in the blog (100 words max.)
2. Post picture or pictures (must be in JPEG, PNG, or GIF format (no progressive JPGs or animated GIFs) and must not be greater than 8MB)
3. Post a video clip or clips (must be in .flv, .wmv, .asf, .avi, .mov, .3gp, .mpg, .mpeg, or .mp4 format, 25MB limit.)
4. Post an audio file or files (must be in MP3 format, and no greater than 8MB)

• Entries could be on one, all, or any combination of the above four
• All submissions MUST be tagged “Father’s Day ‘07”
• Any entry after the June 17 deadline will not be considered
• A winner will be announced on June 18, 2007

Eligibility:

• Members of AfricanLoft Community
• Non members must register to contest

NOTE: Entries will be judged on their clarity, originality, content and style.

Only The Fathers Love…Praise Break #2

God the Father, in His joy we are made Strong!

No matter what we must have gone through or are going through God the Father makes all anew with and in His Love, Mercy, Grace and Forgiveness.

God the Father, Loves, Protects and Provides.

DARFUR! 278 Reasons to care…

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor”
-Archbishop Desmond Tutu, South African Bishop opposing Aparthied.

When Kimberly Smith, executive director of Make Way Partners, found James teaching under the trees, he had 150 orphans looking to him to share his education with them but he had nothing else to give. No food. No medical care. Not even a shelter to provide shade blistering Sahara sun.

Today, James has 400 orphans and thanks to the generosity of many he has open air classrooms where the children can at least have a roof over their heads. He is also able to feed them every day and on Wednesdays they even get meat. At this very moment, he is desperately working to get the funding to buy materials to finish dormitories for the little ones before the rains come. The children need shelter. They need protection. James knows.

He can’t forget the number 278.…

To read post in full, please go to http://everydaymiracle.wordpress.com/2007/05/28/278-reasons-to-care/#more-211

Ishmael!

Birthing Ishmael!

We all will experience hurts, disappointments and even betrayal by the ones we love and trust sometime in our journey of life. I guess that is why it is a journey of many paths… We will come to crossroads and have to choose what direction is best to travel, some may be roads well travelled, so you  have an idea of what may lay ahead others may be uncharted territory, one you would have to trail blaze yourself and some may just be wrong to walk!

Relationships become important, close ones became valuable and relied on, we’ll sometimes let others lead us down there path, let them set the tone or pace  of your journey, until things start taking a turn for the worst and the feeling of trust gets violated, love broken. We start to loose the lustre in the relationship.  You just want to give up  trying  any longer, and for the moment to ease the pain….To ease what ever pressure you long for, a soothing ointment ( could  be drink, drugs, work or in the arms of another) but not the true “balm”. But we know we need soothing, release for the moment!

It is at this point I say call out! shout out! even cry out! to the one that has a greater and better view of your journey. The one that created and knows you ….Please! Do not faint, for in your  weakness is when He shows up in His strength on your behalf.
 Do not miss your call, purpose, and destiny by selling your birthright for a morsel of porridge (instant gratification).  Do not walk in bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment for this will only birth more pain and revenge, but wait!…………. Less we birth “an Ishmael”

What is birthing an Ishmael you say……

You will have to go the bible and read the book of Genesis 16-21.

To paraphrase …. Abraham and his wife Sarah  were very old and had no child of there own, but were promised by God that they would have a child. In the impatience of Sarah, she encouraged her husband to bear a child with her maidservant called Hagar; she gave birth to Ishmael meaning God hears. By the time Ishmael was a teen  Sarah took in and gave birth to her son called Isaac (you see Gods word never goes back to Him unfulfilled)
Sarah later made her husband send Hagar and her son Ishmael away, cos she felt had become a treat to Isaac her son and cos Hagar had taunted her all the years after Ishmael was born….
Today the trouble in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestine is all a result of Sarah’s impatience.

Let us not in our pain, heartache and weakness  take the law /retribution, payback, revenge in our own hands….
The Journey is long with bends and turns,  up’s and down’s, the bumps on the road are many!
Be encouraged!

*an Ishmael*………….a temporal solution that could cause long term damage.

Mars and Venus get your act together!

Mars and Venus get you act together…

Every man wants to be “Lord”… like it or lump it PC generation.
A man wants to be a “MAN” why does that sound negative now days when a man says that (if he is able to say it aloud) 
A man wants to feel capable, wants to be the first called to solve a problem especial that of his wife/partner, he want to feel he is in control… tell me why does that sound bad?

Ok… I agree that there has been some who have taken “being a man” to ridiculous levels, to mean dictators, abusers, bullies and tormentors to both male/female, to there children, wives, mothers, and fathers. THey, have helped turn “being a man” to  now sound like a curse word. I am not talking about those men… Infact I cannot call those men but animals in human skin …as Fela would say.

We are living in a time in society now where the sexes have been bluded, there are no defined lines drawn…Men can not be men, women don’t know what it is to be “WOMAN” the roles are all mixed up in the name of civilisation, enlightenment, advancement and lets not forget good old “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS”

Every man want to be respected, honoured, he desires it. Regard is what fuels him knowing that he is relevant and needed, this powers him on… for example, have you noticed how  a man would react in a situation of a car breakdown, especially if there are females around. Even if he has never changed a tyre before or knows nothing about cars, there is something that rises up within him to make sure he looks out for the female present( that is not being male chauvinistic or feel that woman are not capable …it’s just natural ( why fight it ) thinking like this shows how women go to the attack of such action to mean they are weak instead of the feeling of being valued enough to be protected and defended to be looked after and cherished. ( call me old fashioned we need some of that back)

These has sipped into the home and effected the social breakdown of the family (IMHO)
A parent should be made up of “whole” men and “whole” women, but what we have now are confused, unsure, emasculated men that don’t know what being a man is let alone what being a father consist of….we then have women on the other hand who I would say “self abuse” in the sense that they have no self worth or pride in there womanhood that they want to be men, not even in the good sense, but all the negative aspects exaggerated. They brag about how much they drink, there sexual exploit. They have become female larger louts, in the UK there are women that are proud to be called “Laddetts” … they curse more, there morals are worst than that of a street dog!

They believe in the spirit of “what is good for the goose is also good for the gander” NO! It is not!

It has be said “educate a woman you educate a generation” that also applies in proper conduct, behaviour and a healthy self-esteem and self worth.

These women have nothing feminine about them. In the corporate world they are more ruthless than there male counterparts, in marriage they are competing with there husbands to head the home, to make more money than there partner, striving to rise in there career ( all for the wrong reasons) all the time struggling to prove there worth, by doing instead of just being.

The so called “liberated” woman has lost all the grace and instinct of being a woman. She has so liberated herself  that she can not ask for help anymore so she self destructs and carries a whole generation along with her….

 You tell me, how can these two kind of people come together and raise a healthy, well-adjusted family that would effect there society positively?

….a messed up child becomes a messed up man/woman becomes a messed up parent will only add to the society a messed up child, and the circle continues… In addition, we wonder why the world is messed up!

Scenario.

Parents are both chasing money and career, to keep up with the “Jones’s” house help, domestic servant, nanny ( what ever you choose to call them) are raising the children who are always looking like they stepped out of a designers runway, decked in there designer clothes.  After school to be picked up by the driver, only to get home and have dinner prepared and served by the house help/nanny. Tutor comes for an hour (expensive education) the best money can buy!  Mom and dad back from work at 7pm children in bed by 8pm and the circle continues the next morning…
who is raising the next generation?

What do we remember and  hold on to about our childhood? Its not the toys or clothes or what car we were driven in, but (for those who where blessed to have it good) you remember love from your mother, protection from your father, the talks and stories they told, the hugs and the feeling of security around you that gave you the confidence that you could do anything you set your mind to….

Should I go on…No!
I don’t just want to rant and I don’t want it to be said that I was being judgmental, that everyone is entitled to live there life the way they choose….I am all for that, thank God for freedom of speech (that it self was fought a person at a time, but will leave that for another time) All I am asking is that we consider a healthy balance, cos what we do as individuals effects the collective.

We are all responsible for the state of things in the society (good or bad) so if we want a better future for all we would have to take a good look in the mirror and maybe have to re-evaluate some choices and decision.

Home calls!

What is happening to me? I feel so alive! Expectant and excited of the future. I love being a mom and wife and would not change that for anything, but I have always felt there was more to me.

I have just come back from a trip from home (Nigeria). Lagos has a way of bringing out my Alta-ego; I think I will call her PHOENIX,  she feels she can do anything she sets her mind to, ever rising, indestructible, larger than life and bursting to birth her creative side, her destiny and purpose.

 Truly home calls and all I do now is count my days. As a family we are ready to move back home, for personal reasons, to live! Not just, exist. It may not be your reality but it ours. We want our children to grow-up knowing there culture first hand to have a solid, rounded foundation, hubby and I just agree it is time to make the move (there are something’s that cannot be explained) you just have a restlessness that your unable to shake off.

For me personally I think the restlessness I feel is fast showing, that “thing” I could never articulate properly, of whats burning inside of me, some how it’s coming out now!I am going to shout it out… cos once it’s out I have no other way but to confront and deal with it, so here goes… “I am a frustrated artist”  that feels better, now let the transition begin!

This year the lover of my soul had already dropped in my spirit it was going to be a year of expanding boundaries and taking the limits off, stepping out…and having many a “walking on the water”moments….Wow! It sure has been that so far, and the year is not over yet!

“Life is either daring adventure or nothing” _Helen Keller

….so let the adventure being! Phoenix is rising!

“A life lived without passion is a life lived in unfulfillment and regrets”

….Moi.

Meet my baby Sola…

What can I say, Easter was blessed!
I was in Nigeria (Lagos) for the break- so much happening, so much to do
emotions array at times, but still most of it pleasant.
If you have been frequenting this blog, you would know I have a passion for
Orphans and the gift called adoption.
I am involved with an organisation called LINKACHILD; they collect data about
orphanage in Nigeria, help in raising funds and the awareness of 7million
orphans in Nigeria.
It was more than a privilege to be part of this team as I accompanied Sina (linka
child Administrator) Shola (volunteer) Ada (volunteer) to the registration of a
newly found orphanage called Hope for all in Igbo Efon, Lekkie. This orphanage
was situated in an affluent area with 10 or more “mega churches” flanked on the
major road, mega houses and estates too, yet it reflected nothing of its
environment.
The building was massive, but rundown, there was no running water, the long and
short of it is, its in need of a major make over. As we walk through the dark
damp hallway to the nursery where the babies slept my heart sank!
Looking at the states of there nursery, it took me back to what my kids room
looks like. How I taught about my kids room  and how I did’nt feel it was still as good as i’ll like it to be….( then I see kids that have nothing ) ….I taugth about how my kids left there toys about the place and me forever shouting “put your toys away”

 There was little or no toys, the beds they slept in were ok, but the
mattress and sheets were filthy.
As we were introduced to the babies and told a bit of there story of how they
came to be in the orphanage, I came across a baby that just touched my heart. I
saw her and felt in my heart say” I could have given birth to you ” as she laid
there on her back looking ever so serious at me, then making a bodily gestures,
as if to say “pick me up” ” I want to get out of here” I picked her out
of the cot, with her still steering hard at me trying to study my face , looking
deep into me she finally gives me a little side smile..as if saying I like you ,
with your funny colour hair and dangly earrings” ( oh here I go
puuuuuuuuuulllllllllll)  we fell in love or should I say I fell in love with my
Sola ( as she is called)
I carried  her through out the visit and when it was time to go, I found it difficult
to leave her there. All the babies were beautiful; they all   radiated from
within. I could not understand how evil had been able to get them here, but had to
encourage myself that God had a plan for each of them and was looking out for
them.
I was told that there were other orphanages that were in worst condition, at
least this one had a benefactor by the name of Father Adegbite.
I did go back to see Baby Sola again on Easter Sunday before service with my
Hubby, there we meet a lady that came to see a particular baby she found , the
day he was born.
Due to the way his mother  must have stood giving birth to him (head first and
standing)he suffer injuries to his head and was  brain damage when he was found.

Just like the first time, leaving Sola was heart breaking, and as we drove along
Lekkie  Epe-expressway going to church passing all the other churches and people,
church goers in their best “Easter” outfits all feeling good about themselves I
felt a bit bitter with us ( yes me included) .
How is the kingdom of God going to come  when we forget we should be effective
in our community and be truly salt to the earth.?
I was staying in this community over the Easter break so I knew the amount of
wealth spent in the said community. How some people saw it as nothing to spend on
another designer bag or pair of shoe that they did not really need or gold
earring and necklace set to add to their already large collection of jewellery
Or the thousands of Naira (Nigerian currency) spent on a night out or day at the
beach, I wonder just if each church donated one Sunday s offering once a month,
what a way that money would go, not just to this particular home but all the
others in the area, that would truly be obeying Christ commandment of Looking
after the orphans and widows. A true act of worship to God!
That is what I call effective Christianity!
I will hopeful have more pic’s for you to see  of the visit  to HOPE FOR ALL FOUNDATION babies home at the end of the week at
www.linkachild.wordpress.com
Please for any kind of donation or more information on how you could assist Linkachild
please go to their website www.linkachild.org

PS: No, I am not adopting Sola. (you never know   ) I just see her as a catalyst, as a point to keep me going and to remind me that every little counts…I may not be able to reach all the worlds orphans, but I can reach her and all the other babies in this particular home that I and my husband are doing all we can to make there lives just a little better!

This is Love in action…

Have your tissues handy and see what Love can do…. How far Love would go to bring you HOME!

Avery and Heathers Adoption story…. in song.

Watch the post: THE VIDEO HEATHER MADE OF OUR ADOPTION STORY.

www.leaveittoavery.wordpress.com

HouseWife…what a waste!

I have a story to tell…

 

There was a young lady who got married had 4 children, decided to stay at home full time with her children has they grew. Her responsibilities included looking after the home and her husband.

 She was a graduate, very intelligent and business minded, but she loved being at home with the kids and did not see it as a scarifies, she enjoyed having the home just right for when her husband came in…

She had two other friends that where married and had kids… they made fun of her and called her “a kept woman” which she had no problem with, they found the fact that she got an allowance degrading (which she had to correct many a time, that she did not get an allowance)  but had no restrictions to the family finances, as she was responsible for the accounts and making sure the bills where paid.

When ever she was at a function or gathering of her husband clients or work colleagues, in the mist of career women, single and married ones, they always seem to, at first think there was something wrong with her cos, she introduced herself as a homemaker, which always  followed a pause… As if they felt they should speak to are like a child (cos maybe they taught she only understood baby talk) who knows! They would feel there was nothing she could contribute to the discussions.

But as conversation continued they would find out how intelligent and current she was… that would bring the next question…Why are you staying at home? you could get a nanny to do that job. You could be doing better things with yourself, using your degree and earning…  Instead of wasting away at home, and being dependant on your husband for everything.

She asked, tell me what is greater than the privilege to have a hand in bring up the next generation, not just preparing food and feed them, but feeding there minds, body and soul…getting to know your own  child. Experiencing there first experience… Do you think I sit around all day watching “Oprah”?

I enjoy  nothing more thanwatching my husband come home to a hot meal ready and waiting, he is reassured that his children are in the best possible hands.. He comes home to a neat and tidy house… He is not stressed about his home front cos he knows I have it undercover, so his mind is free to deal with the world outside his home; he is energized to go out again… After the world tries to beat him down, he knows his home is secure, safe and looks forward to coming back!

I am more than content she says… the first 5 yrs are important in a child’s development… They are the formative years and that is a part of life to experience too.

There would be stages they will not need me that much, but they would still be secure, reassured and confident to know I will always be there…

I ask what is wrong in being a stay at home mom, a full time mother or let just call it what it is….A HOUSEWIFE?

 

i leave you all to chew on that as i go chillout for the next couple of weeks!

 

Brother sold Brother!

Slavery with all its horrors was still a plan of God! (Believe it or not)

This was what my pastor preached about on Sunday the 25th of Mrach(200yrs of the abolition of slavery in the British colonies). At first that did not go so well with me, just as I was getting over that he dropped another “truth” …( he did warn that most of us would not take to his next statement likely) Trust me, it did not with me, but you could not deny the truth.

He reminded us about Joseph and how his brothers first planned to kill him because of his dreams/destiny and favour he had with there father…but later decide to sell him into slavery … They did not know, nor care what would become of him. As the story goes Joseph favour followed him every where …In the donjons he had favour with his gift as a dream interpreter, from there to be made a citizen  and  a Governor and only subordinate to Pharaoh ( King of Egypt)  all this in  the land he was sold to as a slave.

Then we are told there was famine in the all the land …but there was food in
Egypt, because Joseph had been able to read the dream of the King that foretold the famine… anyway cos of all this Josephs family where able to come and get food and even relocated….Read the detailed story in the book of Genesis 39-47.

All this is said to let you know the plans of God in your life can be killed/aborted or destroyed…what God says, will be fulfilled, a seed that never dies will never ripe a harvest.

Why I decided to write this post was because in the post before this I said something about an apology….which I would like to take back.

That is not necessary for the plans of God for slavery will be fulfilled. The pathway of our Destiny… {Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes horror has to happen and we may never understand its purpose but, that God, He knows!}

When Jesus was born …King Herald killed child aged 2yrs and under just to prevent destiny… was God aware? Yes …Why did He allow that? I don’t know (I guess that is why He is God!)

Brothers sold Brothers … That was what my Pastor said that did not go well with me, Slaves from
Africa were sold by there own brothers( Africans)… No matter how hard that maybe for us to accept it is the truth!

This has caused division between Africans and West Indians to date…some feel resentful towards Africans for what was done to there ancestors.

We should not let division in our lives,  for the perfect will of God is still to be unfolded…Our dreams will still be fulfilled.

Brothers on different continents, of different shades, we are all still brothers, as I said before FORGIVNESS is the only way forwarded.

Adoption Story#3…( A Poem )

   

Introducing a writer with a heart, her unique style always real and flowing deep….

“Just alittle something I was feeling from an adotopted child’s point-of-view (if I were adotopted. What would I write about? ….What would I say?…)

www.asheselah.wordpress.com ….Authour.

BELONG.

I have her eyes
But I wake each morning
to see your smile
Light up my bedroom before dawn.You pinch his nose
but I smell like your smell
After a tight bear hug
when you come home from work
always providing the best for me. I’ve got her mother’s ears
but I hear the joy in your voice
The deep sighs of relief
When you introduce me
As your very own.My hands are big like his daddy’s
And his daddy before that I bet
Yet, it is your loving strength
That protects me
From all that’s wrong in the world
And getter worse.So, while I may have come from another
It’s fun for me each day to discover
That I belong to you
And you belong to me
And we belong with each other.

Copyright (c) 2007.  Ashe.Selah.  All rights reserved. 

Mother is Gold (full-stop)

Just sitting here watching an animation story about Mother Teresa with my children
…..telling a story about a woman that gave all of herself for others..
A woman that from childhood… by watching and listening to her mother learnt to be of service… to show love in action… to be giving.

As a child she once gave away her shoes to a boy that had none and walk home bear foot…  Freely she gave away, had no fear in doing that… for she knew her own mother would understand…
This same act was repeated on the streets of Calcutta after answering the call of God to leave being a Nun to become a missionary to the poor and outcast …This she did without initial provision from the Catholic Church.
She was a mother to the motherless… A mother to other young women that knew and followed her… She nurtured, and cared for the poor.
 She showed love in action giving up her life in service to others…

A mother is not just the one that carried you in her worm and births you.  
A mother is not just the one that nurse and weaned you as a baby.
A mother is not just the one that feed and clothes you.
A mother is not just the one that stayed awake when you had chicken pox, measles, or a high fever when you were teething or suffered the flu…
A mother is not just that one that cut the crust of you pack lunch sandwich (just because you did not like it)
A mother is not just the one that was at every dance, drama or ballet recital you ever performed with the loudness voice in the audience to cheer you on…
A mother is not just that one that scarified that high paying job that would have kept her away from spending time with you …
A mother is not just the one that worried when you where growing…Watching you as you developed, and worried if you would ever walk, talk or read like every other child your age…
A mother is not just the one that dreams of a great future and would suffer any pain just to prevent you experiencing it.
A mother is not just the one that would work 3 jobs to make sure you have that dress for your school prom… 
A mother is not just the one that taught you how to cook (be it grudgingly) saying “no man will marry a woman that can not cook”
A mother is not just the one that advice you to be a responsible man and how to treat your wife.
A mother is not just the one that would lovely watch you sleep at what ever age and her heart melts and a sigh of Ahh..
mother is not just the one that carries her grandchild lovely and prays for a greater future… NO!

A Mother is all that and some…

What is a Mother to you?

To mine I say … HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
To all those women that have contributed to make me who I am so far …I salute you all!

To every single mother that has had to do it all by herself …I salute you!
To every mother that has loved and called into her heart a child not of her blood.. I salute you!
To every mother that has fostered child/children I salute you too!!

Thanks for sharing that gift called Love…for a mothers love is not a bond that can be broken!

Happy Mothers Day! (UK) 18th Of  March 2007

The Joys of Parenthood ( a little something to make you smile)

  
  
   GOD CREATED CHILDREN  (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
Whenever your children are out of control,
You can take comfort from the thought that
Even God’s omnipotence did not extend
To His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
“DON’T !” 
   
“Don’t what ?”
Adam replied.  
 
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
God said.
 
“Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !”   
 
 ” No Way ! “ 
 ”Yes way! “  
 
 ”Do NOT eat the fruit! “
Said God.
 
 
“Why? “
 

“Because I am your Father and I said so ! “

God replied,
Wondering why He hadn’t stopped
Creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
And He was ticked!

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit ? “
God asked.  
“Uh huh,”
Adam replied.
 
“Then why did you ? “
Said the Father.

“I don’t know,”
Said Eve.
 
“She started it! “
Adam said.
 
“Did not! “
 
“Did too ! “
 
“DID NOT! “
Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
Should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.  
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
Don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
What makes you think it would be
 
A piece of cake for you ?
 
Things to think about!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
Teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
The next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward
For not killing your own children.

3 . Mothers of teens now know why
Some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word
What you shouldn’t have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties
Is to remind yourself that there are children
More awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
But they are still getting in.
Got this in my mail box today…. It sure put a smile on my face 

  PS:   Mother’s Day …18th of March (UK)

An Adoption Story…

I came across this site some time back and was totally blown away by the writing…when I went on to read the other articles to my amazement the author was talking of her process of adopting a child from Nigeria… and yes the couples are Nigerian too!

This is just an introduction of the subject of her and hubby’s adoption of there baby boy “baaboos” ( I just love his little nickname)

 “I am going to Naija in two weeks time, or sha by the end of the month. I should be in Naija until next year. It is going to be hard for Boo and I because he is going to be here most of the time. He will go back and forth. Well, it will be hard for me sha. I don’t know about him. But, I will miss my man, especially because I don’t really know when I will be back exactly. Okay, this is why. I have been hinting you guys about our adoption move. I was not really ready to talk in great detail about it. Even now, I am not really ready. When we went home, we visited a number of orphanages and motherless babies homes with a view to identifying a baby boy for adoption. Yes o, boy. Boo has always wanted a son and I just want a healthy baby. I wanted a daughter first but, where I am at right now, healthy baby will do just fine. There were so many administrative hiccups and a disturbing lack of frankness in certain places we visited. In the end, we identified a baby boy that we liked in a place that we were comfortable with. He is a cute little thing, with long limbs like my Boo. They told us the story of how he came to be there: life is hard. He was crying when we first met him. I wish I could tell you that I carried him and he stopped crying immediately. For where? The small man continued crying, o. It was actually quite embarrassing that he did not take to me, immediately. My Tanzanian friend, Charity and her Dutch husband, Jaab adopted two babies from
Tanzania after trying for years to have kids naturally. When Cha-Cha (as I call her) tells you the story of the adoption of their first child, you will just be crying. She talked about how when she and Jaab went to the orphanage, the baby was crying and as soon as she carried him, he stopped. She says that is how she was sure that that was their baby. Well, this baby did not give me any such assurance. He continued yelling his head off when I carried him. But, Boo and I took a liking to him all the same. I can still hear the sound of his cry now. I think there is a determined strength in that cry. My boisterous little one who will not keep quiet until he gets what he wants. Just in case you are getting any ideas, on that day, what he wanted was food. Eventually, he allowed Boo to give him a bottle”……

 Please go to http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/soul-sista-diary and read more.

I recommend Mummy and Baboos   Mixed Blessings, You and Me and Who Said Family is Easy?

I wish you all the best Soul-Sista, Boo and Baboos!

Adoption….An Option

…Back to the topic of the season

I still ask …Is adoption a western idea?

In this series we all are going to be learning together, getting information and hopefully making the awareness of  Orphans, Orphanages, Adoption, Fostering and even Sponsorship ( I’ll elaborate on that much later) in Nigeria. The different types of adoption processes will be discussed as well as the challenges…

I ask, cos I don’t want to be accused of making assumptions..But why is adoption not widely an option to couples that are not able to have children of there own?

Why are Orphanages not given the support needed? Be it financial or just celebrated and encouraged.

Why In a country where there is always a wedding, or some form of celebration going on every weekend…people love to talk about there expensive designer bags, shoes and all…In a country that people go on 2 to 3 holidays a year and not blink at the expense…  looking in the magazines when I was in Lagos …with the cream de le cream styling and profiling and just loving themselves… and I asked; If only people that have contributed/donated (not) even there time but maybe the cost of there “aso ebi” or there trip to Dubai/UK or where else they go.

 …Ok I am going ahead of myself here… will come back to why I think those that have are way to self centred and self obsessed …{ These are all my opinion and not of  Linkachild.org }

 

Very shortly I will be talking to the people in the know, about this issue.. Till then I’ll leave you all with a taste of things to come….

 “Linkachild as an organisation primarily focuses on linking donors with those in need, which in this case are orphanages, invariably we get requests regarding adoption issues, however we are not an adoption agency, we only advise and assist. Presently we have 36 states in
Nigeria and can u imagine that each state has its own different adoption policy, coupled with the fact that the federal government has placed an embargo on inter state adoption. this will give you an idea of how muddled the system is down here, this restrictions came  about  due to many cases of abuse and in some instances rape, forced marriage, abduction and trafficking of adopted children”

 Coming soon a more in depth Interview with BELLO OLUSINA CHRISTOPHER (Linkachild Administrator)   

Guess who is 6yrs today!

 

Happy Birthday!!! Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 Guess whose 6yrs old today?  …None other than my baby boy Elijah-Baptiste, correction “big” boy …. 

Happy Birthday! my “Lijeepoo” boiiiiiii

I love you and thank God for your life, from the very first time I saw you all wrinkly and freckled face ( yes! he was very fair with a face full of freckles) with the smoothest skin, holding on to your little fingers ….I loved you. 

You are a boy’s boy and would change nothing about you.

You are Unique with a capital U

You give the best hugs and know exactly when mummy needs them, so my darling I say ….. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Love from Mummy, Daddy, Ruchie and Jojo.

Ours by choice…The Adoption story

….As Easter (resurrection Sunday) rolls by real soon, I could not help but think about a topic that is dear to my heart; Adoption.
 The process of adoption is when an individual - whether relative or not – assumes parental responsibility for the child of another.
For those that are born of the spirit and “adopted” into the kingdom of God as sons and daughters…we have all and full legal inheritance rights to the kingdom of God, with this we enjoy the privilege of protection and love of the family of God.
Esther was adopted by her uncle Mordecai at the death of her parents; Joseph adopted Jesus as his own in the eyes of man and God which gave Jesus legal claim to the Davidic throne (line of King David)

Adoption is divinely authorised, God-blessed and legally binding means for adding to the family and passing on the family inheritance…

“O redeems those who were under the law, so that we may be adopted as sons with full rights” (Gal 4:5)

“He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will” (Eph 1:5)

….Since we know this entire, why is the church not in front leading the idea and issue of adoption.
The prayer lines of those seeking the “the fruit of the womb” grows daily. Women doing all sorts all in the hope of bearing a child.

Please do not get me wrong or feel am being unsympathetic, I have 3 children of mine and could not imagine not being able to have kids of my own, but when I think of all the beautiful babies in orphanages and motherless babies homes my heart aches. and is sadden, these are options that are not even looked into at all, so I ask is adoption a western idea?

 My husband and I are agreed on adopting at least 2 more children to our family and fostering as many as we can…

As you ponder I’ll leave you all with this story based on real events….

Boy crying under a bridge, two women passing by, filled with compassion they stop to ask the boy of about 14yrs what the matter was?
The boy explains that he was brought from the village to work as a house help (servant) and had to runaway because he was being maltreated. Not having anyway to go back home, for he had no home to go back to, no family that wanted him or cared.
The sister asked if he would go with them, one of the sisters, the older one asked him to come and stay with her whom he agreed.
As time went on the boy again was being mistreated by the older sister, he complained to the younger sister who too could see the treatment he was receiving and was not happy about it. The younger of the sisters took the boy into her own home after convincing her husband to agree ( he was concerned that they knew nothing about this boy) the younger of the sisters and her family lived in a humble 3 bedroom flat with 4 children at the time, both couple were bankers.
In the evenings the boy went to night school, and progress to study accounting, through all this time he was still serving the family…he had become part of the family, not a houseboy, to the point that when 3 other children were born in the family he practically raised them, the kids were so close to him that most nights the 2 younger ones were found sleeping in his bed … (they never knew him as nothing else but there big brother).
That was how things continued, they boy grew to a responsible young man and the sister helped him get his first job as an office junior in the bank she worked in. As time went and he graduated, the Youngman got a job with a bank and gradually progress and promoted into management and was doing well for him self….
When it was time to marry the younger sister and husband stood as Mother and father for him in marrying his wife, by default he had became the first child of the family …he help build the couple, who have now became family, there first house, he looked and is still looking after them, all his children refer to his adopted parents as Grandma and Grandpa.
 As the children grew they started asking questions (as children do) …”If you are my daddy’s mother and father why do we have different surnames”? This was the same question the younger sisters’ children asked to…why did you and daddy never legally adopted “Big brother”?
 
One of the children believed that the Nigerian mentality would not have allowed it… the extended family (who did not even know it was the Youngman that built the house they live in now) were showing concern that this Youngman is not your blood child, how will you let him inherit your property…or why would you bring him to family meeting as you first son?

So I ask can we truly adopt in Nigeria?

Can you only love your blood child/ children?
What will happen to all the children in orphanages around the country?
Why are couples that can’t have children not adopting as an option?
Is adoption a western idea?More on Adoption, Fostering  and more information on orphanages nearest to you, please contact www.linkachild.org

The little things matter…so I say thank you!

Thank you! Thank you!! ( have a cookie on me ) 
 To all those that took time out to wish me a happy birthday!
 Thanks to all that took time out to send me a greeting via my blogsite, email, text message and calls.
Thanks to those that took time out to get a gift for me…you did not have to but you did….so again I say thank you.
Bebe…thanks for my cards, gift, love and graciousness…most appreciated.
To all again I say “thank you”May we all see the year through and step into destiny.
….as you celebrate others so will you be celebrated!!

Eko trip…Val’s day…B’day…

Wow!! First I must say I enjoyed my trip to
Lagos, the heat, crazy driving, crazy town but I love it still.

My Valentine day started with 2 text massage from my bebe…
Had to leave the mainland for the Island early to bet the rush hour traffic on the Island (you know what happens to the best laid palns)   any how my 6ft something nephew of mine was both chauffeur and appointed bodyguard( instructions from hubby and believe it or not his dad)  well lets get to the “koko” of the matter….we had some battery problem and had to be fixed on the busy road, was there for over 3hrs… once we got it fixed ( or so we thought) not more than another 100 or so meters  the car broke down again…this time on a major road under the bridge in an area called Bonny camp…( would have been nice to have had company to while away the time when my nephew left me to go and sort-out the car)
He eventually got it fixed but was now getting  late for  him to take his girl out for Val day…so Auntie had to step in, and not to make my boy look like he was begging …I had to call the girl and explain why he had not seen her all day and may not be seeing her that night…We did eventually go and pick her up and went to a really nice hang out in Omole called “Mamas”….had a nice time, food was good and Arsenal were playing well against Bolton…so all was well in my world. Considering the way the day had started…
Now to “D” day… my birthday…..Did not start very well but had to get myself  together, had a date with my daddy who I  had not seen  in about two years..(Yes! I am a daddy’s  girl)    he was the first man in my life and he did leave a good impression on me , so when it came to picking a life time partner his was most of the criteria I used to pick……intelligent, God-fearing and one physical attribute ..I always loved my daddy’s shoulders big and strong and always made me feel safe.
In the mist of all this my kids called to wish me happy birthday …which I found a bit overwhelming cos this was the first time I would be away from my kids for more than a week, so hearing them made me abit teary…
Anyway I and my Dad  had lunch at a place called Swallows on Opebi in Lagos…lovely place, food was good service was even better…all in all it was a pleasant day and I thank God for the opportunity to spend  it with my dad!
…Remember the little thing matter.
The” please” “thank you” and “I love you” spending time with your loved ones and letting them know how much you love and care about them…do not assume they know!  always let them know…as the saying goes “you never know what you have until you  loose it”…so don’t wait till then let them know, say it as often as possible.
  

AS WHITE AS SNOW…

 

 

Ok! guys where do I start?  …. I guess from the beginning (some smarty-pants would respond)
 Didn’t intend to write this, so I guess thats the best kind of post to put up. Hubby had to travel on a business trip so I was sort of awake as he was getting ready, once he left I thought I  would get back to sleep…but some how I couldn’t.  I tossed and turned for a bit…with things I shouldn’t be thinking about racing through my mind..( worries that I should have left on the altar for God to deal with)  thoughts of where I had fallen short or missed the mark…..So I decided to get up and make myself a hot drink, then maybe I’ll feel sleepy again…but low and behold what do I see as I looked out my window, but snow! the first fall this winter…the whole landscape covered in a bed of delicate clean white fluff…how beautiful it all looked, even the garbage cans too looked beautiful in the blanket of white snow, I could see the footprints of an animal (most probably a fox, cos no dog owner would let the pet out this early) as I stood looking out the window watching fresh snow fall (O! what a sight to see) I could just hear God say… “Angela that is how I see you…regardless of your short comings, your flaws or mistakes …. I choose to cover you in a sea of white…and make you all anew”.  At that point my heart became filled with gratitude… I felt so thankful…for my life, love, my family, my health, my brothers, sister, friends old and new and most of all the mercy of God’s grace…. for  He has chosen to cover me and has made me as white as snow….

My Milestones…My Joy…

By Opeyemi Fadipe.

I do not believe in reincarnation like some do but if reincarnation happens to be a reality then my cycle will be woman, woman, and woman all the way. For so many women the popular belief is that it is a man’s world. I hear such women say that given the chance to relive they will rather come as men. I do not blame them as these women have several reasons behind their opinion. But then I find it ridiculous to believe. Why on earth will a woman want to be a man? I still have not found a single reasonable reason to think that way.
Personally I have no regrets being a woman.
Womanhood is a covered calabash which when opened emits radiance, joy, happiness, fun, laughter and a lot of hope.
For a lot of women, womanhood would have been so beautiful had the natural occurrences been absent. I once heard my younger sister say, ‘how I wish I do not menstruate’ forgetting that it is a sign that someday life will germinate in that same stomach.
Contrary to popular feminine opinion, I believe women will appreciate their lives, milestones and enjoy womanhood much better when we begin to savor the honey at the core of our seemingly painful milestones. We need to relish the joys, pleasures that lie deep in our challenges. Of a truth, our challenges far outweigh those of our mothers and grandmothers but God has so endowed us with joys that do not fade as the years go. The joys and happiness that lie deep within our challenges are not ephemeral. They are such that we remember so many years afterwards and we still smile heartily.
Can you remember the day as a baby your ear was pierced? Possibly not but I believe if babies could talk you would have told the next baby boy to you how lucky he was not to be a girl. But here you are today adorning yourself with lots of beautiful jewelry in that same hole that was created painfully. That imaginary baby boy friend of yours could today probably be among those guys who want to put on earrings to look trendy.
I am quite sure you have not forgotten those days when your nanny or hairdresser would force your head into her laps to plait your hair. Most of us never liked those women but we turn our heads several times to see whose looking at our hairstyles.
Sometimes at the age of twelve, I discovered I had some pains on two particular spots in my chest. It was so painful that I did not hesitate to tell my mum it must be cancer. You can imagine how she laughed and like most Yoruba women told me those two thins will eventually send me out of my father’s house. Today it’s a reality; I am out of my father’s house living happily with my own man. Those two growths accentuated my figure so much that the opposite sex could not resist me. It contributed to my beautiful body framework.
Early one morning I woke up restless, feeling different, vomiting and running high temperature. I felt I was not myself anymore. It became so uncomfortable and I found myself in front of a doctor’s desk, only to be told that I have a new life growing inside of me. Is it how it begins?
Several months passed and I still feel I am not my original self, tummy bulges; appetite becomes wild and one day a terrible pain sets in that makes me feel I was going to die. I screamed and shouted and groaned and did all sort. For hours the pain persisted and then minutes later I heard the cry of a baby. The life that began to grow forty weeks ago had finally become a complete human being coming out of this stomach of mine???? It’s simply incredible.
The children grow and become matured boys and girls and then one day my daughters come home with one his friends as usual. This time they relate so closely I got uncomfortable and then my daughter opened that same small mouth she used to cry when I brought her to this planet to tell me, Mummy, this is the man I want to marry!! She seems so excited about it but it was so painful to me. Does it mean this girl doesn’t enjoy my company any longer or don’t I care enough? All questions, no answers and then the great day came. We gave our daughter out in marriage and every other woman glared at me in envy. Some couldn’t hide it. ‘Aren’t you a lucky mother?’ they asked.
That evening I flashed back at my life from the beginning at least from when I could remember and I found out it has always taught me a lesson: In the life of every woman there is no gain without a pain. Just as it happens in our natural milestones, our experiences generally teach this same lesson.
We should learn not to shy from challenges rather face them. We should learn to take the bull by the horns, take hold of every opportunity and make the best of it. We should bear in mind at all times that at the end of every tunnel in our lives; there is a bright ray of light.
One more thing to be remembered, gold in its raw state is unattractive but after each round of treatment in the fire (not in an air conditioner) it shines better and better and better……
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO SHINE AGAINST ALL ODDS!!!!!!

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“U arrive when u get to Heaven”

 Sister-Friend Alidee in the House… 

It’s that time of the year when you’re returning back to work, school or wherever it might be.

The question that everyone asks is how was your Christmas? That is after they have wished you Happy New Year.

Whatever season you’re in, my question to you is have you arrived?

I was having a conversation with a friend recently and we were discussing individual’s perception about when they have arrived in life.

Some people consider being married as arriving in life; some people think because they have all the material wealth in life that they have arrived and the list goes on.

Well I have had a new revelation and that revelation is we arrive when we get to heaven and completed our earthly purpose.

This year I decided to do something different for Christmas. I spent my Christmas holidays doing voluntary work with an organisation called CRISIS.

CRISIS provides shelter for homeless people during the Christmas period. This year the shelter opened it doors on the Saturday 23rd of December to Saturday 30th December. During the period they provided homeless people with food, shelter, clothing, medical care, dentist, counselling, library facilities, Internet access, housing referral, career opportunities, chiropody, hairdressing and entertainment.

Well I must say it was an eye opener for me. When we think about homeless people most of us think about the person who’s on the streets because of such things as drugs, alcohol and mental issues.

Well it’s amazing some of the stories that you hear.  I can now tell you that the above is just some of the reasons why people are homeless.

I looked around and to my amazement there were people who we would pass on the streets and never think they were homeless who were staying in the shelter. Even some of your colleagues who may be sitting next to you in the office are sleeping rough at nights. People from varying backgrounds, classes and ages resided at the shelter for the week.

There were people in the shelter up to about six months ago had all the material wealth such as houses, cars, 2.4 children, qualifications, earning in the high income bracket, you know the things we use to measure success.

But guess what things happened and their circumstances changed. A percentage of some of these people lost everything and they ended up in a homeless shelter alone with nothing to their name except a few items of clothing.

One of the guys said at least he’s still alive and because he’s still got life he has hope. He’s actually planning to get his life back on track and come back next year as a volunteer.
Some of the people that I spoke to said if anyone had said to them a year ago that they would be spending Christmas in a homeless shelter their response would have probably been no.

So where did they go wrong?

Did they become proud, did they become boastful, did they become arrogant, did they become selfish, what happened? To be quite honest I do not want to be judge or juror of their case. But just to remind myself and also to remind others that it’s a fine line.

So have you arrived?

“It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.
Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
So let’s just humble ourselves, give thanks continuously remember he gives grace to the humble“ Ephesians 2: 6-8

Author: Alicia Camile Douglas.

“ CHRISTMAS, the REASON for the SEASON is out of the mess of the first Christmas is the massage of LOVE, LIFE and HOPE”