So many ways I have seen you,
So many ways I have hoped to understand you,
So many ways I have longed to end your worries.
You’re holding on to many things…
So much pain, So much hurt, so little joy.
‘ your bleeding heart can mend’
But you have to let go of all that weighs you down
and be lifted up.
Being fragile in a world of no real love pre-empts decisions
That gives rise to mistakes.
So let it go and be lifted up!
Ilu-Ilu.
“We fall down, but we get up, for a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up!”-Donnie Mcclurkin.
Getting up, may sound so easy….Moving forward even harder. Baggage’s of past( and sometimes present) pains and hurts hard to of load, unforgiveness, bitterness, self condemnation can be more debilitating than drug abuse or any sought addictions. You are a walking dead, smiling, moving, oh! So busy performing tasks even delivering them very well too…but dead! Without feelings, void of empathy, compassion and totally consumed with self. But you have a CHOICE!
All is required we do is know God loves us more than you could ever imagine or anyone could tell you. Make our confession to HIM is all He asks of us, for He is the only Restorer of souls, Healer, Comforter and the only One that forgives without condemnation.
Make a choice to LIVE, move on, move forward and join the land of the living…
JESUS is sure alive!!!
Man proposes God disposes, so they say….Well it seem so in my situation. I would have loved to be writing this in the heat of Lagos, but alas! It’s not to be…
All my furniture and things are having that experience at the moment without me…something came up and we have to spend one more Christmas in the UK….
Yes I am still in the cold of the UK…dreaming of my Lagos sun.As I sit on the floor typing this( it’s all back to basic guys ) …No Christmas tree or decorations…No feeling of the season, my body is here but my spirit is not ( it is in las gidi )…thinking of all my plans for Christmas in Lagos… taking the children to the beach after feasting and visiting, I think God must have a reason…He must have something better in store in January or He is just looking out for us, one way or another ….It is well!
So one more “tango in the UK” folks 
I will make the best of a situation I was not looking forward to….
On the 3rdthis month makes One year of blogging for me….How the year has flown. It has been the best and the worst of years all mixed into one…. But I would say it has been a year of Gods faithfulness… getting to know more about the layers that make me, ME.
A year that God has shown me I am able to carry some loads I would have never believed I could… A year of seeing how far His love for me expands. A year of growth….This has been a landmark year and I am thankful.I would like to thank all that have ever left a comment on my blog….all those that have been to my blog and not left any comments…all those that have left email comments and encouragement…all those that have emailed me to say they where encouraged by my words or post, I say a big THANK YOU…GOD BLESS YOU and I look forward to many more years (God willing)
My New Year starts in September, that is when I seek God face for a word to carry into the following year/season. 2007 was “Taking the limits of God and expanding boundaries” This He sure did…I was so excited about the expanding boundaries, that I did not take in to account what it fully implied…If I was to expand my boundaries, that would also mean stepping into a boundary already occupied, at first I was not careful and did not protect myself from the assault and attack of “expanding boundaries” but soon understood that when God gives you a word it will be fulfilled, but it will never come easy, cos it is in the process of the fire you are REFINED.
This Year/Season 2008 ( yes 2008 , for I am already in my New Year) my word from God has been “Soar like an eagle….New beginnings/ new thinking…a season of separation and feeling of going it alone (some friendships will not go it with me in this year/season). Many will not understand me…but that’s ok, they are not meant to. It’s a continuation from the year before to take the limits of God and walk in my uniqueness.
The more I read about the character and attribute of an eagle it gets clearer…This time I have learnt to guard my heart, keep myself in His covering and not be arrogant to think I know anything….for it is all Him.
Have a Merry Christmas ….the reason for the season is CHRIST and nothing else…Not the trees…Not the presents…Not the food….Not clothes…..Not the drinks.
Happy New Year….may we all walk in the fullness of our purpose and fulfil DESTINY.
Till 2008.
Thanks http://mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com for this:
dallenia Says:
October 23, 2007 at 12:39 am e well girl what can i say i’m so so happy for you. that the lord found you the right one indeed.
well girl i wish could say the same for me. well the last time i thought i found the right one girl .he did me wrong. he play the act he was so so nice.and then play the hard to get. i never fell inlove by my self, but it happend to me now it been,8 month i cant forget him why i dont know.it feels like acurse.i ask god to forget but he still on my mind. everyday. it like ”a never ending storie”the thing that hurt me the most i’m scared of leting myself go and be wo.
Dear Dallenia
I feel for you and wish I could tell you that the experience was all about my guy but rather he was simple the vessel that God used to touch me. The poem is about my transformation process, it is the result of the journey I had to go through with God in order to let go of my fears and issues about marriage so that I can come to the place of not seeing marriage as a prison. A place where woman are nothing but slaves or so I thought but now I can see marriage differently , I now see it as a place of safety and security where I am free to accomplish all that I can be. I have finally crucified the Jezebel (the controlling spirit) in me and I have taken the mantle of Sarah, a woman of faith whose trust is in God to make any changes in her man necessary. I am free to simple love.
As for your guy all I can say is break the soul tie and move on. If my guy were to leave today, I would be hurt but I would move on and be eternally grateful to him. What I have learnt is so valuable and precious, at times God is interested in the process and not necessarily the end result. The feelings I have is based on God’s perspective, it is about agape love, a love that has God at the centre of it. While we were yet sinners God loved us, so my guy does not have to attain a standard or do something for me to feel what I am feeling. It is looking and feeling with the eyes of God.
Be encouraged and wait for God he will bring the right one, it is well worth the wait. In the meantime let God help you deal with your issues and make you whole. There are many women out there but a woman like me, one who know her value is one in a million. I guess the truth question is how do you value yourself as a woman?
Blessed.
Yesterday I said a enough is a enough!!
Yesterday I decided to truly trust in Him
Yesterday old struggles that tried to rise up where put down
Yesterday pains and worries where put back on the altar (not looking back, this time)
Yesterday a rebirth, not looking to man, but to God, for He knows the beginning and end of me…
Stay strong people…..
On one rainy Sunday morning they both came together gather with friends and family to say “again” and renew their earlier vows to themselves….This time they did not repeat what was presented to them as is done, both each wrote their hearts commitment towards the other.
She said- in a sea of tears (for she can be emotional like that)…
I in the present of God, family and friends… I promise to comfort, encourage, and do you only good, as long as there is life within me. I promise to pray for you and lift you up before God. I promise to be the wife, mother, companion, friend and lover that you will be proud of. I promise to help meet and accomplish the purpose God has given you. I promise to reverence and honour you, to love you with the God kind of love. The love without conditions and not based on emotions. I promise before God, family and friends that I will not tolerate resentment and unforgiveness eroding what we are building together. I am thanking God for He has already given me the grace and empowerment to keep my vows to you.
He said-Holding back the tears, but a little making its way down the side…
I vow to sit in the presence of El-shaddai .To deliver His wealth, counsel and wisdom so we can raise Godly seeds, worthy soldiers in the last day army of Jesus. I vow to continually show my gratitude and appreciation for the early sacrifices you made to make our life together possible. As I thank you for your continuing devotion and faith, please know that you have all my gratitude, respect and love. For you have been a wonderful inspiration, support and help. My vow is to continue to find newer and fresher ways to give you everything a woman of virtue like you deserves. I thank the Father and you for the gifts which you made my life complete.
Since then 7yrs ago, many trails and tribulation have come, storms and floods have shaken the foundation of their love, marriage and even faith …yet they STOOD!
Never settling for second best and compromises, brutally honest with themselves (that was what made them unique), they said hurtful and sometimes unforgivable (but forgivable by grace)things to one another, things they never thought they would ever say to one another …did things they never thought they would do to one another…yet they STOOD!
It has been beautiful never the less, there union has be blessed with little angels from above( naughty sometimesJ) each with their unique contribution to the fold, with a bound of love for one another that could never be broken….and they STOOD!
They stood, for they kept it real…in their case it seemed it had to get bad (real bad before it could get better) or should I say fantastic! To solve a problem and enjoy the benefits, one has to get to the root cause, be honest, get good council and deal with it… Ignorance and darkness is where the evil one lives and breeds, but in God there can only be truth and light to set you free…
True freedom and joy in a marriage comes with a price… one of sacrifice, honesty, openness and most of all Love! (Not puppy, butterflies in my stomach love) but the Love of God… that says” I will love even when I don’t feel like” “I will love you, cos I am committed to you”
….By the Lord’s grace and mercy they loved one another, stood by one another, was gracious and understanding.
Now years have passed, they are older (ok, more mature) there love has and is “maturing” into fine wine and not fizzy pop! …with each year there love grows stronger and sweeter!
So when you see them and say … I want a marriage like so and so…..you at better ask them there journey and see whether you are ready to travel that road or better still, just ask God to show you your own road and how to make your own marriage work for you!
Every marriage and every couple is unique and will be refined by their own unique FIRE!!
Blessings.
…It’s Yomi Adegboye of yomisays.com blog, I dedicate this song to you ….listen to the words very well Sir!
In no particular order of importance ….
Rick Warren, Billy Graham, BishopT.D. Jakes, Max Lucado, John Maxwell, Charles Swindoll, JerryFalwell, Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer Paul Crouch, Pastors William Shaw, Rod Parsley, Robert Schuller, John Hagee, Kenneth Copeland, Reinhard Bonnke, Daivd Oyedipo,
Chris Oyakilome, Crefllo Dollar, Enoch Adeboye, Sam Amaga, Matthew Ashimolowo, Tom Samson, Kathryn Kuhlman,
Aimee Semple Mcpherson, Maria Woodworth Etter, Joel Osteen ….and many more
He calls all these people and their Ministry false teachers and deceivers.…Here are a couple of quotes from him about when his “eyes opened”
“ For years, I was deceived and entrenched in the Word of faith cloud. I devoured, believed and taught the materials of Hagin, Copeland, Dollar, Oyedepo, Oyakhilome, and the like. But somewhere along the line God got my attention.” “Then I ran into a website where the writer took apart the teachings of some of these men in the light of Scriptures”
After the website “opened his eyes” he then decided to read his bible….hmm? should it not have been the other way round Sir?
Women in Ministry….
“Structurally, we had women in pulpit roles. I saw from God’s word that this was an aberration – a clear deviation from Biblical teachings and examples.”
…after his experience with “this website” please listen to what changes he made in his church.
“Probably the hardest part of the entire process was the fact that ALL of us had to throw away so many things we had individually and collectively said that the Holy Spirit told us. This came up because as we studied God’s word, we saw that the Bible was clear on those issues and as such the Holy Spirit could not have told us – and certainly did not tell us – any of those things” ….( how interesting?)
…so how can we be sure about your new teaching now sir?
Now I have no intention in debating doctrine here with anyone, that is for yourself, your bible and the Holy Spirit ( Oops! Yomi does not hear from the HS anymore cos he is the new HS, thanks to the “website”)
Why I wrote this post is to say….
If the “Man of God” so loves the word of God and God’s children then he should remember we are one body, working together to bring Gods Kingdom down and show His grace, mercy and most of all Love.Why does he not send a letter, organise meetings and talk with his brothers/sister (Oops again, I forget women are not meant to preach the word of God)…. anyway his brothers and sit in love and the true edification of the body and “reason” together as the bible says.
Question for you? Tell us O! Righteous one, WHO are the people that preach the word of God according to you and “the website”
Show us the way, for we would not know if you do not tell us….
Hello all, hope we all had a pleasant weekend and those that where able to celebrate with their fathers did so.It’s good to know we ALL have a heavenly Father that loves us unconditionally, that for ever protects and has made ALL provision available for our wellbeing.With His hands opened we can freely come to Him and call Him Father!
Father God I thank you!
I am a Christian and love the lord with all my heart, I am not religious but, one with a personal relationship with God the Father, Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit. I am not perfect, I make mistakes and still have things I struggle with.I thank God, for I can do nothing to attain or sustain perfection all by myself. What make me righteous ( right standing, able to be called righteous ) and able to stand before God almighty is not my “good deeds” or “good behaviour” it not my intelligence or lack of it…it’s not the eloquence of my words , wealth or fame, but simply the fact that I have ask Jesus in to my life as Lord and saviour and He with the sheared blood of Calvary has washed me and now God the Father sees me through the blood of God the Son, Jesus Christ.
For it is in Him I am made righteous!
I enjoy blogging and the freedom of expression, people can say what they have a passion for, it helps build networks and gets like minded people miles apart to share and grow in there ideas..It creates friendships…We all have our different points of view, but all are still respected…at least some do, these brings me to my topic for this post….which is going to be in two parts.
I find it really saddening and to be honest down right angry when in this blog village of ours ….one that calls himself a Christian, does not but do the work of the devil and tear down others that are of one blood and family (apparently he is the only one that has the mind and knows the mind of God) …I call him the “righteousness police”, he has taken the place of the HolySpirit, but I guess God has not informed the rest of us!
The one I refer to is a Nigerian blogger and “entrepreneur” based in Nigeria (guess he would do anything to get attention) This is something I would not normally do, but I believe it’s fair, as he does not have any sensitivity, respect or plain and simply; does not have the Spirit of God in him (IMO) based on his conduct.
All he does is ridicule, Christian Ministries all over the world and in Nigeria with his arrogant, haughty , self righteous ,wicked, insulting, holier than thou tone! (I don’t see the fruit of the spirit in any of those characteristics) If you do please let me know.The bible tell us to question/test doctrines…Religion should never be the opium of the people…we should not shut our heads and reasoning faculty in the name of religion, but ask questions, read the word of God for ourselves, pray for understanding and wisdom to implement what we learn, for the edify of ourselves and others, never forgetting the Love of God.
But this is not what this person does…and that is why I have called him the ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN!!!!! What is worst is he is a Pastor of his own ministry…
Do you know him yet?
More to come….
Birthing Ishmael!
We all will experience hurts, disappointments and even betrayal by the ones we love and trust sometime in our journey of life. I guess that is why it is a journey of many paths… We will come to crossroads and have to choose what direction is best to travel, some may be roads well travelled, so you have an idea of what may lay ahead others may be uncharted territory, one you would have to trail blaze yourself and some may just be wrong to walk!
Relationships become important, close ones became valuable and relied on, we’ll sometimes let others lead us down there path, let them set the tone or pace of your journey, until things start taking a turn for the worst and the feeling of trust gets violated, love broken. We start to loose the lustre in the relationship. You just want to give up trying any longer, and for the moment to ease the pain….To ease what ever pressure you long for, a soothing ointment ( could be drink, drugs, work or in the arms of another) but not the true “balm”. But we know we need soothing, release for the moment!
It is at this point I say call out! shout out! even cry out! to the one that has a greater and better view of your journey. The one that created and knows you ….Please! Do not faint, for in your weakness is when He shows up in His strength on your behalf.
Do not miss your call, purpose, and destiny by selling your birthright for a morsel of porridge (instant gratification). Do not walk in bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment for this will only birth more pain and revenge, but wait!…………. Less we birth “an Ishmael”
What is birthing an Ishmael you say……
You will have to go the bible and read the book of Genesis 16-21.
To paraphrase …. Abraham and his wife Sarah were very old and had no child of there own, but were promised by God that they would have a child. In the impatience of Sarah, she encouraged her husband to bear a child with her maidservant called Hagar; she gave birth to Ishmael meaning God hears. By the time Ishmael was a teen Sarah took in and gave birth to her son called Isaac (you see Gods word never goes back to Him unfulfilled) 
Sarah later made her husband send Hagar and her son Ishmael away, cos she felt had become a treat to Isaac her son and cos Hagar had taunted her all the years after Ishmael was born….
Today the trouble in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestine is all a result of Sarah’s impatience.
Let us not in our pain, heartache and weakness take the law /retribution, payback, revenge in our own hands….
The Journey is long with bends and turns, up’s and down’s, the bumps on the road are many!
Be encouraged!
*an Ishmael*………….a temporal solution that could cause long term damage.
…Just got this and had to share.
Minister Joe Wright’s Prayer of the Opening of session of Kansas Senate.
“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your
forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance.
We know Your Word says, ‘Woe to those who call evil
good,’ but that is exactly what we have done. We have
lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our
values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and
called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbour’s possessions and called
it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and
pornography and called it freedom of ___expression.
We have ridiculed the time-honoured values of our
forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse
us from every sin and set us free.
Amen!
The response was immediate. A number of legislators
walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short
weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is
pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only
47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is
now receiving international requests for copies of
this prayer from India, Africa and
Korea.
This is the time to draw a line in the sand and choose,whose side are you on?
Hot or Cold no lukewarmness no sitting on the fence, make you stand… choose!enjoy the benefit or suffer the consequences…it’s your choice!
Slavery with all its horrors was still a plan of God! (Believe it or not)
This was what my pastor preached about on Sunday the 25th of Mrach(200yrs of the abolition of slavery in the British colonies). At first that did not go so well with me, just as I was getting over that he dropped another “truth” …( he did warn that most of us would not take to his next statement likely) Trust me, it did not with me, but you could not deny the truth.
He reminded us about Joseph and how his brothers first planned to kill him because of his dreams/destiny and favour he had with there father…but later decide to sell him into slavery … They did not know, nor care what would become of him. As the story goes Joseph favour followed him every where …In the donjons he had favour with his gift as a dream interpreter, from there to be made a citizen and a Governor and only subordinate to Pharaoh ( King of Egypt) all this in the land he was sold to as a slave.
Then we are told there was famine in the all the land …but there was food in
Egypt, because Joseph had been able to read the dream of the King that foretold the famine… anyway cos of all this Josephs family where able to come and get food and even relocated….Read the detailed story in the book of Genesis 39-47.
All this is said to let you know the plans of God in your life can be killed/aborted or destroyed…what God says, will be fulfilled, a seed that never dies will never ripe a harvest.
Why I decided to write this post was because in the post before this I said something about an apology….which I would like to take back.
That is not necessary for the plans of God for slavery will be fulfilled. The pathway of our Destiny… {Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes horror has to happen and we may never understand its purpose but, that God, He knows!}
When Jesus was born …King Herald killed child aged 2yrs and under just to prevent destiny… was God aware? Yes …Why did He allow that? I don’t know (I guess that is why He is God!)
Brothers sold Brothers … That was what my Pastor said that did not go well with me, Slaves from
Africa were sold by there own brothers( Africans)… No matter how hard that maybe for us to accept it is the truth!
This has caused division between Africans and West Indians to date…some feel resentful towards Africans for what was done to there ancestors.
We should not let division in our lives, for the perfect will of God is still to be unfolded…Our dreams will still be fulfilled.
Brothers on different continents, of different shades, we are all still brothers, as I said before FORGIVNESS is the only way forwarded.
After all, what makes any event important, unless by its observation we become better and wiser, and learn to do justly, to love mercy,and walk humbly before God…. OLADAH EQUIANO. ( an exslave that was stripped of his home, culture and language)
25 MARCH 2007 will mark 200years to the day that a parliamentary Bill was passed to abolish the slave trade in the British colonies. Although it would be another 30 years before slaves gained their final freedom – when slavery was abolished throughout the British Empire.The need for a large and steady supply of labour on the sugar plantations of the Caribbean and South America, and on the cotton plantations in North America leaded to need of labour (Guess where they looked?) but to the dark continent of Africa.
The Middle Passage was the sailing of slave ships from Africa to the Americas. It is estimated that between nine to 12 million Africans were forced to make this passages The African captives were considered as ‘cargo’ and inhumanely packed together below the deck of a ship for most of the journey This took anywhere from six to eigth weeks, Conditions were appalling in the packed and unhealthy ship holds, and up to one in five died. Uprisings were common, but were violently suppressed .The mortality rate for the average journey was 10-15 per cent due to ill treatment, malnutrition and disease.Once the ships arrived at their destination, the surviving Africans were cleaned and prepared for auction.Now …I am not going to go into all the different wronged that the salves encountered, this is a season to remember those that were lost, the pain and suffering endured.
A time to salute those that fought against it and help bring an end. It a time for forgiveness and yes apology …..But most of all forgiveness and a time for closure, and this not be repeated in it’s different forms today!
The effect of slavery has left lasting damage to a whole race of people, but should not be used as an excuse not to progress and achieve their best.
What is slavery?
A slave is one…
• forced to work – through mental or physical threat;
• owned or controlled by an ‘employer’, usually through mental or physical abuse or threatened abuse;
• dehumanised, treated as a commodity or bought and sold as ‘property’
• physically constrained or has restrictions placed on his/her freedom of movement.
…so today we remember those who endure this evil…those that did not survive the journey and died as “cargo”
Roll call and Salute ….
To the freedom fighters and those who rose to became a symbol of encouragement to other slaves…
The first recorded slave revolt was in 1570. There were at least 250 shipboard rebellions. Jamaican slave society faced a serious revolt every decade, in addition to prolonged guerrilla war. In 1760, 30,000 Jamaican slaves revolted. The culmination, recorded in CLR James’s magisterial The Black Jacobins, was the 1791 slave revolt in St Domingue.
Granville Sharp, Olaudah Equiano, Ottobah Cugoano, Thomas Clarkson, John Newton, William Wilberforce, Hannah More, William Knibb, Ignatius Sancho, Elizabeth Heyrick, Samuel Adja(Ajayi)i Crowther, John Wesley Toussaint, L’Overture Sam Sharpe.
For more please go to http://www.setallfree.net
…This blog was not meant to be a personal journal like most out there, it was to be a means of service, and a stepping out into a place I have not been before…why am I saying all this, well cos I am about to share like a journal which this blogsite is not, but I have such an overwhelming feeling to share with all what is happening to me at this very moment …I feel the presence of the Lord to do this.
Coming out of a season and place that I would never have thought I would walk…and the mercy and grace of God have been Oh! So! Amazing…
Just when I think I have seen all of God in my life He shows me another dimension to Him…
At the moment what I am listening to is- Youthful Praise with James Hairston …and it is just speaking my heart every single song is just ministering to me, healing my heart and just putting in that place to hangout with God again.… (Worship for me is the way I fellowship and connect with my father and the lover of my soul)
I did not intend writing about this… but I just feel like shouting of God’s awesomeness in my life… No matter how I fall or fall short He still loves me…He will truly turn what the enemy plans to use to destroy/embarrass/cause pain that can sometimes be irreversible, all for good and the glory of Him!!… An incredible God deserves AN INCREDIBLE PRAISE!!!
The battle is in the mind for real…the distorting of truth that would cause the wrong decision to be made which would determine destiny… whoa!!!
I am all about DESTINY!!! and to allow destiny to nearly be destroyed by wrong decision based on the mind… God, I thank you!!! You’re Incredible and I bless you.
{praise break}
I love you lord with all my heart ….I thank you for mercy and grace …again I say you’re an INCREDIBLE GOD!!!
During healing you’re very fragile… and start thinking your personality is to blame … No! I am unique and God has made me so… you say to yourself… so if other takes advantage/ dishonour or take you for granted cos of that, is for them to deal with …
I am a very open soul… I easily take people in to my heart, so when that is bruised, it makes me question my personality…which in turn makes me lot more guarded than I would normally not be…
So why am I saying all this.. to be honest I don’t know, just was so excited that when I feel low, sometimes so disappointed in myself ..That there is a God that loves me sooooo much and who’s forever forgiving, faithful and loving… so all I can do is to give Him PRAISE!!
And say Shabach to the rock!!! (Praise to the Lord !!!)
Pain can be good…Tears come after Joy…
Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that you where just about to loose it for real…? (If that make sense to you, then you have been there).
We make decision to help, protect oursleves, or stop other people hurting us…
We rationalise wrong decisions, cos we are in a pain or afraid.
This month we are talking all about LOVE
I am just going to write without qualifying what I am saying, I just feel the need to do this; so if someone gets something from it… so be it.
The girl loves to be loved…, loves hard work and determination: big attraction.
The girl was young when her heart was given away for ever, but let’s tracks back…
Before then, the girl was looking for love in all the wrong places, she had nothing else but that to Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that you where give (she did not know that at the time) you see how the best things about you can be blinded by you …. Just before girlfriend’s heart became cold and shut …love walked in … lovewalked in so different from what GF was use to…lovelooked different, spoke different , did not real fit GF ideal…but she gave it a go…love said “ what do you have against a men taking you out for dinner and bring you back home in good time” love said I know about the others that took your love and could not appreciate it for the gold it was, I promise to wipe those tears away’ not to be remembered again…promise to look after you with all my love ….( at this point GF was not really ready to open up again, but was curious to see what would happen .
Loved was constant, love was solid, and was always there….GF felt protected, valued, possessed, content and poured out!… did not feel vulnerable or afraid to LOVE!
As GF fellowships with love, and found out that GF could be loved for real… love brought yellow roes, art materials, and counted the copper coins to cover and provide for GF, she loved love even when other could not see what love could offer. But GF did!
In the mist of all the love, there where clouds of darkness (sometimes) but too often (chipping away) the glow of Love…At that time GF felt (rightly or wrongly) that lovedid not love GF anymore in their special way! Too many criticisms, too many let-downs, explained way …always explained…always explained…was it necessary? (Will find out)
…..then what happened, love started chipping away from GF …Little by little, little things… Little things…
Harsh words, a hard thoughts, lots of little excess, no control. love started to shake…I think Love forgot “I’ll wipe the tears from your eyes” and stated to bring tears to GF the pain….the pain…
OK! So the wounds would heal, the heart forgiven… was love taking GF for granted or just had other things on the mind….did life come in and steal the atmosphere of their love? Did they both take their love for granted and not guard it with all their heart?
….anyway, time passed, blue clouds and dark clouds came and went…the rains came and sunshine shone as hearts are broken and mended, broken and mended…healed hearts with scar tissues building around…the heart.
(Let’s not forget the God factor!!) That was only what was holding things up, together and somewhat moving… hope was driving the bus (maybe trust, patience, courage and faith should have been passengers too)
For as time passed GF decided…why must my heart keep on breaking? …yes there were fun times…plenty …so much fun, so much births have come and gone. Blessings that could not be returned and responsible for…
As we where saying GF made a decision that what would make or break the love (she never knew)
A heart that has felt betrayed (I say felt…cos that is the deception here), been bruised but had a high sense of duty would look for a balance, for sanity, for numbing the pain past or expected… (Does all that make sense?) well so it was…..
….so here comes he that is good at magnifying your supposed pain and bruises to the level of destruction of one’s self…you know him…the enemy of LOVE…the usurper of life …the life source of darkness …in his disguise as a solution.
…watch here as he set the stage for his devastation…in come the players onto stage.
Love….
GF….
“The solution”
Their love…
The birthing of their love…
All to be destroyed.
GF says…love it lost, fast spent and not ever going to see just me again…but we have a duty to do
Love is brilliant on duty…you cannot fault Love on that…nothing special anymore but duty.
Love on the other hand says …yes! I have not been fair, I have seen the light…I have a plan to go back to my promises…to lift GF again… (but the evil one has plans)
The solution… did not even know was a pawn in the distractions of the Love for love and GF and even ”Solution” (how sad).
…..Solution come just as GF decision is made…soon GF feels this balm for the pain past and the pain to come…
The evil one( EVO) dressed “solution” in the old clothes of love…( you guessed it GF is deceived and so is solution) as always EVO tells you he is giving you what has been taken from you when you had it all the time…for when you take it then you lose everything!
In comes riding on His white horse wielding his sword, exposing and causing what seem like distruction…in the commotion ….in the mess….in the confusion….in the pain…in tears … in the breaking ..There is a pouring out of Truth! The lies are exposed! Love and GF are saved… even “solution” is saved form a future that would have been smeared …
….so do I have a conclusion? No…you make yours.
But I have this to say ….before any major decisions, make sure HOPE, FAITH, TRUTH, PATIENCE, Unity OF MIND, and COURAGE AND LONG-SUFFERING ARE driving and riding on the bus….
PS: 11 days to go o!
Ok! guys where do I start? …. I guess from the beginning (some smarty-pants would respond)
Didn’t intend to write this, so I guess thats the best kind of post to put up. Hubby had to travel on a business trip so I was sort of awake as he was getting ready, once he left I thought I would get back to sleep…but some how I couldn’t. I tossed and turned for a bit…with things I shouldn’t be thinking about racing through my mind..( worries that I should have left on the altar for God to deal with) thoughts of where I had fallen short or missed the mark…..So I decided to get up and make myself a hot drink, then maybe I’ll feel sleepy again…but low and behold what do I see as I looked out my window, but snow! the first fall this winter…the whole landscape covered in a bed of delicate clean white fluff…how beautiful it all looked, even the garbage cans too looked beautiful in the blanket of white snow, I could see the footprints of an animal (most probably a fox, cos no dog owner would let the pet out this early) as I stood looking out the window watching fresh snow fall (O! what a sight to see) I could just hear God say… “Angela that is how I see you…regardless of your short comings, your flaws or mistakes …. I choose to cover you in a sea of white…and make you all anew”. At that point my heart became filled with gratitude… I felt so thankful…for my life, love, my family, my health, my brothers, sister, friends old and new and most of all the mercy of God’s grace…. for He has chosen to cover me and has made me as white as snow….
Forgiveness is to release someone from a debt you think they owe you..
“If your brother sins against you…seven times in a day and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, I repent you shall forgive him”(Luke17:3-5)
It is inevetable not to be offended one time or another. The ones that will offend you the most will be those closest to you, those you love and trust.
The closer the relationship the more sever the offence, only those you expect from that can hurt you….
The question is what your response will be?
I know you have heard this saying “Two wrongs don’t make a rigth”
If you have been hurt, you do not have to hold that offence. Jesus forgave us from the cross before we said we were wrong. Now that is true forgiveness….
To be able to forgive you’ll need to develop faith is Gods Love( Agape)
What is that you say? Agape is a love that expects nothing in return but to serve God …It is unconditional!
During my journey on the road of unforgiveness, I read this from the word of God that totaly blew my mind and turned things around for me. It showed me to be able to forgive and not hold offence take root in my heart, I would need Him! (God)
“I said to love your enemies, bless those who curses you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven”
(matt 5v44-45) it continues to verse 47, but what struck me was that there was no way I could do this in my strength
There is so much to say about this topic, but I’ll stop here for today. Let me leave you with this to think about…..
Unforgiveness and holding on to offence is like you taking poison to kill another?
Just think…
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