Nuff said!

                                                                                                                                     

                                                                       http://www.silentday.org/index.php

Woman that do it for me…finale

Cece Winans- When I listen to her music it always ministers to me, she comes across like one that is a true worshipper- one that loves the Lord with all her being giving Him the praise in every way. Apart from being an award winning artist (six times Grammy awards winner), Dove award winner, Soul train award winner and actress… she is also a teacher and mentor…Her album Throne room is my all time favourite, not just the melody but the words always bring healing and joy to my soul, I feel sometimes listening to her songs and feel like I am intruding in her personal time with God. I most admire about her is a passion for the youth, especially young girls. In Oct of 2005, Cece developed and hosted the Always Sisters conference which focuses on support for young women ages 13-26yrs, where she offered words of encouragement and self esteem was discussed. This is her passion that young women will walk in the fullness of God glory and self worth of their everyday lives. At the conference she presented the young ladies with tiaras as a token to the girl, She said…”My prayer was that they know God and know who they are”…”He is the only one that can really teach you who you are, how beautiful you are, how powerful you are, that you deserve the best and not to settle for less” This are the kind of things I like to see and hear..Older women mentoring the younger ones and empowering them on who (we) are as women/princesses and should be treated as one by ourselves and others. Cece has been married for over 21yrs with two children (boy/girl) Cece the wife and mother has managed to balance her personal and professional lives with relatives ease….this for me is a woman living a life with purpose. 

 Oprah Winfrey- Born January 29, 1954 is the American multiple-Emmy Award winning host of The Oprah Show, the highest-rated talk show in television history. She is also an influential book critic, an Academy Award -nominated actress for The Color Purple. And a magazine publisher of O, The Oprah Magazine and O at Home. She has been ranked the richest African American of the 20th century, the most philanthropic African American of all time, and the world’s only black billionaire for three straight years. She is also, according to some assessments, the most influential woman in the world {} raised in rural poverty by her grandmother, born out of wedlock by a mother who was a housekeeper and father a coal miner, at the birth of Oprah, but later became a councilman. Regardless of background and a challenged home life she was able to rise above it all at 13yrs received a scholarship to attend Nicolet High School in the Milwaukee suburb of Glendale, Wisconsin after which she won an oratory contest, which secured her full scholarship to Tennessee State University, a historically black institution, where she studied communication. This is a woman that has accomplished so much in the world of media I could go on, but what I would like to spotlight and truly admire is her Leadership Academy for Girls  in South Africa, she intends teaching a class via satellite. Oprah is not married, but instead has been in longstanding relationship of over 20yrs with partner Stedman Graham. She never had children of her own but had this to say about the girls of her Leadership Academy….”I never had children, never even thought I would have children. Now I have 152 daughters; expecting 75 more next year. That is some type of gestation period…I said to the mothers, the family members, the aunts, the grannies — because most of these girls have lost their families, their parents — I said to them, “Your daughters are now my daughters and I promise you I’m going to take care of your daughters. I promise you.”   

I found doing the research for this list quiet reflective and it sure did reinforce things about myself that I am absolutely sure are no coincidences anymore… all the women that I admire, truly sum me up …Out of the box, Passionate, Motivational, Strong, Natural nurturers, Called to run “their own” race, Unique with a large heart of service to others and effective to their immediate society and the world!

 None of these women are perfect and have made mistakes in their lives, they have had their share of challenges and adversity, but it never stopped them…

Life must have purpose!

Who inspires you? 

Who do you admire?  

 And Why? 

Women that do it for me…

 As part of Black history month in the United Kingdom, I would like to present Seven Black Women I admire and would like to celebrate …. 

1- Mrs Clara Onelum, You may not all know her but I do, she is my “mummy” She is an inspiration and note worthy.She is passionate and devoted to her children and family, an example of a woman, Classy, hardworking and committed. My mother has always been my first role model. She worked in the bank for 16yrs, refused promotion so as not to be away from raising her then very young  children, So to keep herself busy and fuel  her entrepreneurial spirit, she qualified as a hair dresser/stylist from Revlon in the States, opened her own salon first in the house and then later expanded it to a shop next door with a dressmaking section to it…she had a wholesale distributorship too all she did from home…no matter how busy she was we always sat together for our meals which she cooked ( that left a lasting impression on me) she was able to be a mom and also be productive and fulfilled…she later went to catering school and qualified as a chef which she did in the UK until she retired 5yrs ago…but that has not stopped her. I could go on but will stop there

 2-    Nike Davies Okundaye – Now when Vanity Fair was looking to have “African” Icons on its cover why was Nike not part of it I say! She can only be described by me with one word as an enigma! She is naturally talented and creative. She is one of Nigeria’s most successful contemporary artiste, and the very few to gain international reputations as an artist and designer, all this from a woman with no formal training. At a very young age learnt indigo weaving and dyeing ( Adire) from her great-grandmother. She refused an arranged marriage and ran away with a theatre group. To read more about how she gained independence and escaped the violence and abuse of her first husband and how she has developed a centre of the arts in Lagos, Oshogbo in Ogun state and Ogidi in Kogi state of Nigeria and also how she is helping rural women gain financial freedom as well as build up their self esteem by training them in the arts of Adire. http://nikeart.com/main.htm  and read her biography http://blackartstudio.com/Nikespage.htm  

3- Maya Angelou- She is a woman of great substance and elegance a true beauty. She is one of many of the contemporary voices of literature…Her poetry, like one of her own many titles are just “Phenomenal” (Phenomenal Woman is my all time favourite poem of hers) she is an historian, bestselling author, play write, civil-rights activist and I hear producer and director too…The beauty of her words and lyrical flow just blows me away..Her original name is Marguerite Johnson. Her book I know why the caged bird sings was about her childhood,  spent between her grandmother in rural, segregated Stamps, Arkansas and St.Louis, Missouri where her mother lived, her rape at 8yrs by her mother’s boyfriend  to age sixteen and with the birth of her son, by the time she was in her early twenties she was a Creole  cook, a streetcar conductor, a cocktail waitress a dancer, a madam and unwed mother, the following decades saw her emerge as a successful singer, actress and playwright, an English-language magazine in Egypt, a lecturer and civil rights activist. In 1993 Angelou gave a moving reading of her poem On the pulse of morning at Bill Clinton’s Presidential inauguration which gave her wide recognition

Poetry break….

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a womanPhenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need of my care, ‘Cause I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Maya Angelou

3 down 4 to go…

The adventure called Motherhood… are you ready?

Artist : Mufu Onifade

Title: Omu iya du (Mothers mike is sweet)

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. “We’re taking a survey,” she says, half-joking. “Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations….” But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give
it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.I want her to know that a caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honour. My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children’s future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter’s hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . . that of being a Mother.

Authour Unknown.

This is what 10yrs investment looks like…

 I would like to give my baby girl a shout-out as she celebrated a land mark Birthday on the 30^th of August..She is my little miracle baby, born 6weeks early weighing 1.9kg. I am so proud of you…My Ruchelle Aisosa Chizoba aka Ruchie, you are the best first born I could have had, you are such an example to your younger brother and sister, and also a great help to me. I find it so sweet how your beautiful dark eyes water (gets teary) any time you’re a paid a compliment, your smile, so captivating, not to mention your intelligent and creative mind…

PS: congratulation on making school council

Happy 10^th Birthday my Ruchie-girl

  

 We love you and pray all of God’s blessing in your life.

May you fulfil your purpose and walk in the 

 fullness of your destiny in this lifetime.

Amen!

Love always,

Digby aka Daddy, Mumruch aka Mummy, 

Lijipoo aka Elijah-baptiste

and  Princess Jo-jo aka Jeunelle.

Our Father…

Our Father….On the 3 Sunday of the month of June, 17^th to be precise will be Father’s day, so I taught we talk about the office of a Father and celebrate them . A lot of people may not have had a good experience with there fathers, but some have and still do.With the increase or single mothers and teenage pregnancy the role of fathers is beginning to get distorted and even lost…young man are not taking up the responsibility, maybe because a lot of them never had a father/father figure in there lives too ( it hard to reproduce what you never had) Just getting a girl pregnant does not make you a father…A fathers role in a child’s life consists of love, protection, provision, direction and correction

To expand on this further I would like to introduce a lady that her blog has become a daily read for me, she is inspiring and eloquent as she explains her different topics, and I know she will do just that with this topic, I give you Olubola Oluyemi of www.mumsdadschildren.blogspot.com

Fatherhood is the state of being a father. It is the ability to hold the position and authority of a father in the family. In the holy bible “Fathers” is used in the sense of seniors, and of parents in general, or ancestors.

God’s fatherhood should be a typical example for all; it emphasizes the irreplaceable role of fathers in our individual lives.

The most important predictor of criminal behaviour is not race, not income, not religious affiliation. It’s a father influence. It is important that men know that bringing up children is a very important part of their life.

 The greatest praise that men can give to motherhood is for them to share in the role because the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home determines how the children turns out and this also determines the future and survival of any nation.

Fathers as Mentors/Mentors as Fathers….
Serving as a trusted counsellor or teacher to another person. Most children develop their perception of life by merely watching their parents. Children’s image of their father may have possibly affected their perception of God, which in turn affects their self-image. When a child has a negative perception of his father or the father figure in his life it is possible that the child will develop a negative attitude towards others.

For example:
If your father is pushy, inconsiderate of you, violate and used you, you may see others in the same way. You probably feel cheap or worthless in their eyes, and perhaps feel that you deserve to be taken advantage of by others. You may feel that even God will force you—not ask you—to do things you don’t want to do.
Also if your father is a weakling, and you couldn’t’t depend on him to help you or defend you, your image of God and other people may be that of a weakling. You may feel that you are unworthy of people’s comfort and support, or that they are unable to help you. If your father is overly critical and constantly came down hard on you, or if he didn’t believe in you or your capabilities and discouraged you from trying, you may perceive people in the same way. You don’t feel as if you’re worth other’s respect or trust. You may even see yourself as a continual failure, deserving all the criticism you receive.

But when you have a positive perception of your father or mentor, you’re likely to have a positive attitude towards others, God and future.

Author: Olubola Oluyemi.

So I say to all those men that have walked and are walking in the office of Fatherhood…we celebrate you!For those about to step into this office we encourage you and say; it is a privilege to be able to influence a generation.

On the 17^th please take time out to celebrate our Fathers and Father figures.

Let it not be only one day in the year…but continuously.

For those who there Daddy is no more with us…..This is for you.

Father’s Day 07 @AfricanLoft

Who’s your daddy?

Why do I love my Father aka Dadddyyyy! So?

I’ll tell you….

He was the first man in my life and showed me how I was to be treated in the future, with love (yes! Official card-carrying member of “daddy’s pet club)  Sitting at his foot, looking up at this man with his strong arms that made me feel protected, wide smile (mine is just like his) He was my template for the future of what I would desire in a man… (Husband) strong manly man, loving, intellectual and God fearing.

Listening to highlife music takes me back to the times of innocence, when he would wake up at the weekends, wearing his silk like, gold and brown patterned morning coat over his brown pj’s sitting in the veranda with his morning coffee, black with 6cubes of sugar, 2 boiled eggs with some salt in the side ( now I see why I love the smell of coffee so much and why browns/gold are my favourite colours) all this he did while reading his morning paper and sometimes talking to neighbourhood electrician or one of the other neighbours that live in the compound.

Now I know why I love music so…cos he opened our ears to a varied type of music… with his LP collection from Bobby Benson , Art Alade, Marian Makibe, Mayanka belle, Nat King Cole, Sinatra, and all the classic like Mozart to Handle, what did he not have in his collection?..Ah! Not to forget Fela, Voice of the cross…whoa! It brings tears to me eyes… Why should I not love this man that contributed to the making of Me! …No one is perfect… and he is not…. Nevertheless, he is my Daddy! And I love him so.Happy Father’s Day … Daddy!Want to say alittle something about your Father…check out http://community.africanloft.com ….go on say it in words, picture or video!Father’s Day 17th of June……

Celebrate Father’s Day on AfricanLoft and Win a Prize!

 

Who’s your Daddy?

Event: Celebrate Father’s Day (June 17) and win a $50 Amazon gift-card!

Venue: AfricanLoft Community

Time: Now till June 17*, 2007. * Use your time zone

What: Share a piece on your Dad or father-figure

How:

1. Write a short story on your father in the blog (100 words max.)
2. Post picture or pictures (must be in JPEG, PNG, or GIF format (no progressive JPGs or animated GIFs) and must not be greater than 8MB)
3. Post a video clip or clips (must be in .flv, .wmv, .asf, .avi, .mov, .3gp, .mpg, .mpeg, or .mp4 format, 25MB limit.)
4. Post an audio file or files (must be in MP3 format, and no greater than 8MB)

• Entries could be on one, all, or any combination of the above four
• All submissions MUST be tagged “Father’s Day ‘07”
• Any entry after the June 17 deadline will not be considered
• A winner will be announced on June 18, 2007

Eligibility:

• Members of AfricanLoft Community
• Non members must register to contest

NOTE: Entries will be judged on their clarity, originality, content and style.

I Love You just the way you are….Really?

Yemisi was “the babe” in campus, slim figured long legs very attractive and brainy too. After graduation she married her Uni sweet heart Michael…he was equally fine in looks and brains, they both complimented one another very well ( well that was my opinion)

Now she and Michael had been dating for about 4years and engaged the last year…Michael was so in love with her and she to him… anyone that knew them could see that, they were inseparable. We all attended the wedding, a most romantic and beautiful affair.

So you could understand my surprise to learn that they were separated… you know how rumours can be. I did not want to believe, until this faith day, I was walking out of a supermarket on the high street when I bumped into Yemisi…the girl was like a  size 16 ….she was still pretty but I just could not understand her weight gain…we exchanged numbers and agreed to met up at her place for Lunch the following day.

We had a pleasant meal, then sat down to catch up on our lives… she came out straight with it and told me she was now separated and in the process of a divorce …the expression on her face said it all … she was still getting use to the idea and not happy about it at all.

She now had 3 children and was working with one of the Telecommunications company in the City….I had to ask her what the reason of the break down in her marriage, many things crossed my mind, could it be infidelity ( it is most of the time ) it could not be children, she had 2 two boys and a girl. To my amazement, she said… I became to fat for my husband o! What? Are you serious? I exclaimed… she continued that as she started having children the weight piled on and became difficult to shift… but her husband kept telling her, he loved her just the way she was so she did not feel the need to do anything about it…Soon he stopped touching her, sex was none existent until one day he said he did not want to be with her and that he did not find her attractive anymore, all this after 8yrs of marriage. She said she did all to loose the weight, but by then there was no love left in her husband heart for her…

I ask, should that be enough to end a marriage. Should that be enough to stop loving your partner?

Would a woman divorce, if her husband became over weight? Or are men only driven to love visually? I wonder?

Peace out all….Leave you with that for a couple of weeks

Ishmael!

Birthing Ishmael!

We all will experience hurts, disappointments and even betrayal by the ones we love and trust sometime in our journey of life. I guess that is why it is a journey of many paths… We will come to crossroads and have to choose what direction is best to travel, some may be roads well travelled, so you  have an idea of what may lay ahead others may be uncharted territory, one you would have to trail blaze yourself and some may just be wrong to walk!

Relationships become important, close ones became valuable and relied on, we’ll sometimes let others lead us down there path, let them set the tone or pace  of your journey, until things start taking a turn for the worst and the feeling of trust gets violated, love broken. We start to loose the lustre in the relationship.  You just want to give up  trying  any longer, and for the moment to ease the pain….To ease what ever pressure you long for, a soothing ointment ( could  be drink, drugs, work or in the arms of another) but not the true “balm”. But we know we need soothing, release for the moment!

It is at this point I say call out! shout out! even cry out! to the one that has a greater and better view of your journey. The one that created and knows you ….Please! Do not faint, for in your  weakness is when He shows up in His strength on your behalf.
 Do not miss your call, purpose, and destiny by selling your birthright for a morsel of porridge (instant gratification).  Do not walk in bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment for this will only birth more pain and revenge, but wait!…………. Less we birth “an Ishmael”

What is birthing an Ishmael you say……

You will have to go the bible and read the book of Genesis 16-21.

To paraphrase …. Abraham and his wife Sarah  were very old and had no child of there own, but were promised by God that they would have a child. In the impatience of Sarah, she encouraged her husband to bear a child with her maidservant called Hagar; she gave birth to Ishmael meaning God hears. By the time Ishmael was a teen  Sarah took in and gave birth to her son called Isaac (you see Gods word never goes back to Him unfulfilled)
Sarah later made her husband send Hagar and her son Ishmael away, cos she felt had become a treat to Isaac her son and cos Hagar had taunted her all the years after Ishmael was born….
Today the trouble in the Middle East between Israel and the Palestine is all a result of Sarah’s impatience.

Let us not in our pain, heartache and weakness  take the law /retribution, payback, revenge in our own hands….
The Journey is long with bends and turns,  up’s and down’s, the bumps on the road are many!
Be encouraged!

*an Ishmael*………….a temporal solution that could cause long term damage.

Mars and Venus get your act together!

Mars and Venus get you act together…

Every man wants to be “Lord”… like it or lump it PC generation.
A man wants to be a “MAN” why does that sound negative now days when a man says that (if he is able to say it aloud) 
A man wants to feel capable, wants to be the first called to solve a problem especial that of his wife/partner, he want to feel he is in control… tell me why does that sound bad?

Ok… I agree that there has been some who have taken “being a man” to ridiculous levels, to mean dictators, abusers, bullies and tormentors to both male/female, to there children, wives, mothers, and fathers. THey, have helped turn “being a man” to  now sound like a curse word. I am not talking about those men… Infact I cannot call those men but animals in human skin …as Fela would say.

We are living in a time in society now where the sexes have been bluded, there are no defined lines drawn…Men can not be men, women don’t know what it is to be “WOMAN” the roles are all mixed up in the name of civilisation, enlightenment, advancement and lets not forget good old “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS”

Every man want to be respected, honoured, he desires it. Regard is what fuels him knowing that he is relevant and needed, this powers him on… for example, have you noticed how  a man would react in a situation of a car breakdown, especially if there are females around. Even if he has never changed a tyre before or knows nothing about cars, there is something that rises up within him to make sure he looks out for the female present( that is not being male chauvinistic or feel that woman are not capable …it’s just natural ( why fight it ) thinking like this shows how women go to the attack of such action to mean they are weak instead of the feeling of being valued enough to be protected and defended to be looked after and cherished. ( call me old fashioned we need some of that back)

These has sipped into the home and effected the social breakdown of the family (IMHO)
A parent should be made up of “whole” men and “whole” women, but what we have now are confused, unsure, emasculated men that don’t know what being a man is let alone what being a father consist of….we then have women on the other hand who I would say “self abuse” in the sense that they have no self worth or pride in there womanhood that they want to be men, not even in the good sense, but all the negative aspects exaggerated. They brag about how much they drink, there sexual exploit. They have become female larger louts, in the UK there are women that are proud to be called “Laddetts” … they curse more, there morals are worst than that of a street dog!

They believe in the spirit of “what is good for the goose is also good for the gander” NO! It is not!

It has be said “educate a woman you educate a generation” that also applies in proper conduct, behaviour and a healthy self-esteem and self worth.

These women have nothing feminine about them. In the corporate world they are more ruthless than there male counterparts, in marriage they are competing with there husbands to head the home, to make more money than there partner, striving to rise in there career ( all for the wrong reasons) all the time struggling to prove there worth, by doing instead of just being.

The so called “liberated” woman has lost all the grace and instinct of being a woman. She has so liberated herself  that she can not ask for help anymore so she self destructs and carries a whole generation along with her….

 You tell me, how can these two kind of people come together and raise a healthy, well-adjusted family that would effect there society positively?

….a messed up child becomes a messed up man/woman becomes a messed up parent will only add to the society a messed up child, and the circle continues… In addition, we wonder why the world is messed up!

Scenario.

Parents are both chasing money and career, to keep up with the “Jones’s” house help, domestic servant, nanny ( what ever you choose to call them) are raising the children who are always looking like they stepped out of a designers runway, decked in there designer clothes.  After school to be picked up by the driver, only to get home and have dinner prepared and served by the house help/nanny. Tutor comes for an hour (expensive education) the best money can buy!  Mom and dad back from work at 7pm children in bed by 8pm and the circle continues the next morning…
who is raising the next generation?

What do we remember and  hold on to about our childhood? Its not the toys or clothes or what car we were driven in, but (for those who where blessed to have it good) you remember love from your mother, protection from your father, the talks and stories they told, the hugs and the feeling of security around you that gave you the confidence that you could do anything you set your mind to….

Should I go on…No!
I don’t just want to rant and I don’t want it to be said that I was being judgmental, that everyone is entitled to live there life the way they choose….I am all for that, thank God for freedom of speech (that it self was fought a person at a time, but will leave that for another time) All I am asking is that we consider a healthy balance, cos what we do as individuals effects the collective.

We are all responsible for the state of things in the society (good or bad) so if we want a better future for all we would have to take a good look in the mirror and maybe have to re-evaluate some choices and decision.

Meet my baby Sola…

What can I say, Easter was blessed!
I was in Nigeria (Lagos) for the break- so much happening, so much to do
emotions array at times, but still most of it pleasant.
If you have been frequenting this blog, you would know I have a passion for
Orphans and the gift called adoption.
I am involved with an organisation called LINKACHILD; they collect data about
orphanage in Nigeria, help in raising funds and the awareness of 7million
orphans in Nigeria.
It was more than a privilege to be part of this team as I accompanied Sina (linka
child Administrator) Shola (volunteer) Ada (volunteer) to the registration of a
newly found orphanage called Hope for all in Igbo Efon, Lekkie. This orphanage
was situated in an affluent area with 10 or more “mega churches” flanked on the
major road, mega houses and estates too, yet it reflected nothing of its
environment.
The building was massive, but rundown, there was no running water, the long and
short of it is, its in need of a major make over. As we walk through the dark
damp hallway to the nursery where the babies slept my heart sank!
Looking at the states of there nursery, it took me back to what my kids room
looks like. How I taught about my kids room  and how I did’nt feel it was still as good as i’ll like it to be….( then I see kids that have nothing ) ….I taugth about how my kids left there toys about the place and me forever shouting “put your toys away”

 There was little or no toys, the beds they slept in were ok, but the
mattress and sheets were filthy.
As we were introduced to the babies and told a bit of there story of how they
came to be in the orphanage, I came across a baby that just touched my heart. I
saw her and felt in my heart say” I could have given birth to you ” as she laid
there on her back looking ever so serious at me, then making a bodily gestures,
as if to say “pick me up” ” I want to get out of here” I picked her out
of the cot, with her still steering hard at me trying to study my face , looking
deep into me she finally gives me a little side smile..as if saying I like you ,
with your funny colour hair and dangly earrings” ( oh here I go
puuuuuuuuuulllllllllll)  we fell in love or should I say I fell in love with my
Sola ( as she is called)
I carried  her through out the visit and when it was time to go, I found it difficult
to leave her there. All the babies were beautiful; they all   radiated from
within. I could not understand how evil had been able to get them here, but had to
encourage myself that God had a plan for each of them and was looking out for
them.
I was told that there were other orphanages that were in worst condition, at
least this one had a benefactor by the name of Father Adegbite.
I did go back to see Baby Sola again on Easter Sunday before service with my
Hubby, there we meet a lady that came to see a particular baby she found , the
day he was born.
Due to the way his mother  must have stood giving birth to him (head first and
standing)he suffer injuries to his head and was  brain damage when he was found.

Just like the first time, leaving Sola was heart breaking, and as we drove along
Lekkie  Epe-expressway going to church passing all the other churches and people,
church goers in their best “Easter” outfits all feeling good about themselves I
felt a bit bitter with us ( yes me included) .
How is the kingdom of God going to come  when we forget we should be effective
in our community and be truly salt to the earth.?
I was staying in this community over the Easter break so I knew the amount of
wealth spent in the said community. How some people saw it as nothing to spend on
another designer bag or pair of shoe that they did not really need or gold
earring and necklace set to add to their already large collection of jewellery
Or the thousands of Naira (Nigerian currency) spent on a night out or day at the
beach, I wonder just if each church donated one Sunday s offering once a month,
what a way that money would go, not just to this particular home but all the
others in the area, that would truly be obeying Christ commandment of Looking
after the orphans and widows. A true act of worship to God!
That is what I call effective Christianity!
I will hopeful have more pic’s for you to see  of the visit  to HOPE FOR ALL FOUNDATION babies home at the end of the week at
www.linkachild.wordpress.com
Please for any kind of donation or more information on how you could assist Linkachild
please go to their website www.linkachild.org

PS: No, I am not adopting Sola. (you never know   ) I just see her as a catalyst, as a point to keep me going and to remind me that every little counts…I may not be able to reach all the worlds orphans, but I can reach her and all the other babies in this particular home that I and my husband are doing all we can to make there lives just a little better!

HouseWife…what a waste!

I have a story to tell…

 

There was a young lady who got married had 4 children, decided to stay at home full time with her children has they grew. Her responsibilities included looking after the home and her husband.

 She was a graduate, very intelligent and business minded, but she loved being at home with the kids and did not see it as a scarifies, she enjoyed having the home just right for when her husband came in…

She had two other friends that where married and had kids… they made fun of her and called her “a kept woman” which she had no problem with, they found the fact that she got an allowance degrading (which she had to correct many a time, that she did not get an allowance)  but had no restrictions to the family finances, as she was responsible for the accounts and making sure the bills where paid.

When ever she was at a function or gathering of her husband clients or work colleagues, in the mist of career women, single and married ones, they always seem to, at first think there was something wrong with her cos, she introduced herself as a homemaker, which always  followed a pause… As if they felt they should speak to are like a child (cos maybe they taught she only understood baby talk) who knows! They would feel there was nothing she could contribute to the discussions.

But as conversation continued they would find out how intelligent and current she was… that would bring the next question…Why are you staying at home? you could get a nanny to do that job. You could be doing better things with yourself, using your degree and earning…  Instead of wasting away at home, and being dependant on your husband for everything.

She asked, tell me what is greater than the privilege to have a hand in bring up the next generation, not just preparing food and feed them, but feeding there minds, body and soul…getting to know your own  child. Experiencing there first experience… Do you think I sit around all day watching “Oprah”?

I enjoy  nothing more thanwatching my husband come home to a hot meal ready and waiting, he is reassured that his children are in the best possible hands.. He comes home to a neat and tidy house… He is not stressed about his home front cos he knows I have it undercover, so his mind is free to deal with the world outside his home; he is energized to go out again… After the world tries to beat him down, he knows his home is secure, safe and looks forward to coming back!

I am more than content she says… the first 5 yrs are important in a child’s development… They are the formative years and that is a part of life to experience too.

There would be stages they will not need me that much, but they would still be secure, reassured and confident to know I will always be there…

I ask what is wrong in being a stay at home mom, a full time mother or let just call it what it is….A HOUSEWIFE?

 

i leave you all to chew on that as i go chillout for the next couple of weeks!

 

Adoption Story#3…( A Poem )

   

Introducing a writer with a heart, her unique style always real and flowing deep….

“Just alittle something I was feeling from an adotopted child’s point-of-view (if I were adotopted. What would I write about? ….What would I say?…)

www.asheselah.wordpress.com ….Authour.

BELONG.

I have her eyes
But I wake each morning
to see your smile
Light up my bedroom before dawn.You pinch his nose
but I smell like your smell
After a tight bear hug
when you come home from work
always providing the best for me. I’ve got her mother’s ears
but I hear the joy in your voice
The deep sighs of relief
When you introduce me
As your very own.My hands are big like his daddy’s
And his daddy before that I bet
Yet, it is your loving strength
That protects me
From all that’s wrong in the world
And getter worse.So, while I may have come from another
It’s fun for me each day to discover
That I belong to you
And you belong to me
And we belong with each other.

Copyright (c) 2007.  Ashe.Selah.  All rights reserved. 

Mother is Gold (full-stop)

Just sitting here watching an animation story about Mother Teresa with my children
…..telling a story about a woman that gave all of herself for others..
A woman that from childhood… by watching and listening to her mother learnt to be of service… to show love in action… to be giving.

As a child she once gave away her shoes to a boy that had none and walk home bear foot…  Freely she gave away, had no fear in doing that… for she knew her own mother would understand…
This same act was repeated on the streets of Calcutta after answering the call of God to leave being a Nun to become a missionary to the poor and outcast …This she did without initial provision from the Catholic Church.
She was a mother to the motherless… A mother to other young women that knew and followed her… She nurtured, and cared for the poor.
 She showed love in action giving up her life in service to others…

A mother is not just the one that carried you in her worm and births you.  
A mother is not just the one that nurse and weaned you as a baby.
A mother is not just the one that feed and clothes you.
A mother is not just the one that stayed awake when you had chicken pox, measles, or a high fever when you were teething or suffered the flu…
A mother is not just that one that cut the crust of you pack lunch sandwich (just because you did not like it)
A mother is not just the one that was at every dance, drama or ballet recital you ever performed with the loudness voice in the audience to cheer you on…
A mother is not just that one that scarified that high paying job that would have kept her away from spending time with you …
A mother is not just the one that worried when you where growing…Watching you as you developed, and worried if you would ever walk, talk or read like every other child your age…
A mother is not just the one that dreams of a great future and would suffer any pain just to prevent you experiencing it.
A mother is not just the one that would work 3 jobs to make sure you have that dress for your school prom… 
A mother is not just the one that taught you how to cook (be it grudgingly) saying “no man will marry a woman that can not cook”
A mother is not just the one that advice you to be a responsible man and how to treat your wife.
A mother is not just the one that would lovely watch you sleep at what ever age and her heart melts and a sigh of Ahh..
mother is not just the one that carries her grandchild lovely and prays for a greater future… NO!

A Mother is all that and some…

What is a Mother to you?

To mine I say … HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
To all those women that have contributed to make me who I am so far …I salute you all!

To every single mother that has had to do it all by herself …I salute you!
To every mother that has loved and called into her heart a child not of her blood.. I salute you!
To every mother that has fostered child/children I salute you too!!

Thanks for sharing that gift called Love…for a mothers love is not a bond that can be broken!

Happy Mothers Day! (UK) 18th Of  March 2007

The Joys of Parenthood ( a little something to make you smile)

  
  
   GOD CREATED CHILDREN  (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
Whenever your children are out of control,
You can take comfort from the thought that
Even God’s omnipotence did not extend
To His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
“DON’T !” 
   
“Don’t what ?”
Adam replied.  
 
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
God said.
 
“Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit !”   
 
 ” No Way ! “ 
 ”Yes way! “  
 
 ”Do NOT eat the fruit! “
Said God.
 
 
“Why? “
 

“Because I am your Father and I said so ! “

God replied,
Wondering why He hadn’t stopped
Creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
And He was ticked!

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit ? “
God asked.  
“Uh huh,”
Adam replied.
 
“Then why did you ? “
Said the Father.

“I don’t know,”
Said Eve.
 
“She started it! “
Adam said.
 
“Did not! “
 
“Did too ! “
 
“DID NOT! “
Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
Should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.  
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
Don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
What makes you think it would be
 
A piece of cake for you ?
 
Things to think about!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
Teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
The next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward
For not killing your own children.

3 . Mothers of teens now know why
Some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact, they usually repeat word for word
What you shouldn’t have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties
Is to remind yourself that there are children
More awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
But they are still getting in.
Got this in my mail box today…. It sure put a smile on my face 

  PS:   Mother’s Day …18th of March (UK)