Off! the sleeves it goes…to be tucked away too.
Upon my sleeves…. Never!
Truly never!

She speaks, that sage of old Wisdom…. Nobody gave you that heart that is beautiful and kind, so they don’t know how to treat it with respect…
Only the one who gave it can….so, close your eyes and let them fill with tears. Then put your hand in your chest and literally take it out and hand it to the Lover of Your Soul for safekeeping….as it stays tucked in Him

RefinedOne.

To write the script from here…
Would l be selfish in my narration or truly deliver the description of my love fill heart.
Would I allow my deepest desire arise and see the light of day…if for a moment, or would my love for you swallow up my truth.

To write the script from here…
Would you like to see as my dreams and imagination come to life…Would I erase another’s hopes for mine to live?….if for a moment, or would my love for you swallow up my truth.

To write the script from here….

RefinedOne.

Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that you where just about to loose it for real…? (If that make sense to you, then you have been there).
We make decision to help, protect ourselves, or stop other people hurting us…
We rationalise wrong decisions, cos we are in a pain or afraid.

The girl loves to be loved…, loves hard work and determination: big attraction.
The girl was young when her heart was given away forever…..

Before then, the girl was looking for love in all the wrong places….” Have you ever lost something that you thought you had already lost only to find out that…..” (she did not know that at the time) you see how the best things about you can be blinded by you …. Just before girlfriend’s heart became cold and shut …love walked in … He was so different from what GF was use to…love looked different, spoke different , did not real fit GF ideal…but she gave it a go…love said “ what do you have against  a men taking you out for dinner and bring you back home in good time” Love said I know about the others that took your love and could not appreciate it for the gold it was, I promise to wipe those tears away’ not to be remembered again…promise to look after you with all my love ….GF was not really ready to open up again, but was curious to see what would happen .
Loved was constant, love was solid, and was always there….GF felt protected, valued, possessed, content and poured out!… did not feel vulnerable or afraid to LOVE!

As GF  fellowships  with love, and found out that GF could be loved for real… love brought yellow roes, art materials, and counted the copper coins to cover and provide for GF, she loved love even when other could not see what love could offer. But GF did!
In the mist of all the love, there where clouds of darkness (sometimes) but too often (chipping away) the glow of Love…At that time GF felt (rightly or wrongly) that love did not love GF anymore in their special way! Too many criticisms, too many let-downs, explained way …always explained…always explained…was it necessary? (Will find out)

 Love started chipping away at GF …Little by little, little things… Little things…
Harsh words, a hard thoughts,  lots of little excess, no control. Love started to shake…I think Love forgot “I’ll wipe the tears from your eyes” and stated to bring tears to GF the pain….the pain!….So the wounds would heal, the heart forgiven… was love taking GF for granted or just had other things on the mind….did life come in and  steal the atmosphere of their love? Did they both take their love for granted and not guard it with all their heart?
Time passed, blue clouds and dark clouds came and went…the rains came and sunshine shone as hearts are broken and mended, broken and mended…healed hearts with scar tissues building around…the heart.

God factor!! (relationship or religion who was to know?) …anyway that was all holding things up, together and somewhat moving… Hope was driving the bus (maybe trust, patience, courage and faith should have been passengers too)

For as time passed GF decided…why must my heart keep on breaking? …yes there were fun times…plenty …so much fun, births have come and blessings that could not be returned now responsible for…
 GF made a decision that what would make or break the love (she never knew)
A heart that has felt betrayed and bruised but had a high sense of duty would look for a balance, for sanity, for numbing the pain past or expected.
Here comes he that is good at magnifying your supposed pain and bruises to the level of destruction of one’s self…you know him…the enemy of LOVE…the usurper of life …the life source of darkness …in his disguise as a solution.

…watch here as he set the stage for his devastation…in come the players onto stage.
Love.
GF.
The solution.
Their love.
The birthing of their love…

All to be destroyed.

GF says…love it lost, fast spent and not ever going to see just me again…but we have a duty to do
Love is brilliant on duty…you cannot fault Love on that…nothing special anymore but duty.

Love on the other hand says …yes! I have not been fair, I have seen the light…I have a plan to go back to my promises…to lift GF again.

The solution… was nothing but pawn used as a distraction of the Love for love and GF and (how sad).

…..Solution come just as GF decision is made…soon GF feels this balm for the pain past and the pain to come…
The evil one dressed as ‘solution’ in the old clothes of love…as always EVO tells you he is giving you what has been taken from you when you had it all the time…for when you take it then you lose everything!

In comes riding on his white horse wielding his sword, exposing and causing what seem like destruction…in the commotion ….in the mess….in the confusion….in the pain…in tears … in the breaking ..There is a pouring out of Truth! the lies are exposed!  Love and GF are saved… even ‘solution’ is saved form a future that would have been smeared …

But I have this to say ….before any major decisions, make sure HOPE, FAITH, TRUTH, PATIENCE, Unity OF MIND, and COURAGE AND LONG-SUFFERING ARE driving and riding on the bus.

After all was said and done love still took all of GF’s tattered, battered, mended heart and finally destroyed it! Leaving GF on a journey to find who herself..
In conclusion if there could be one; simply know who you are…your worth and value.
Another chapter for GF awaits.

As I reminisce of the days …our days
Hmmm..it tickles; the memory of you…
Maxwell’ play in the background…the chimes and tinkering triangles of ‘Pretty winds’… to think you were it.
fly away pretty winds.
To hold you captive would be a crime to the memories..the memories of exhaling and falling totally in to you…curled up in your safety and so easy ….your love.
I reminisce of the days…our days.

RefinedOne.

The beauty of finding love can not be compare to being found of love…
Finding love after an emptying of ones heart is likened to finding an oasis in the middle of the desert….it cools your dry and arid heart…It refreshes and a desire to drink of its overflow can be most exhilarating!
To be without it, is like death its self.

I found you, unexpectedly…stumbled on your love that overtook me…In my dryness you were sweetly refreshing. I drank of you to an intoxicating fullness. I was not found you….I found you,that was the difference.
The beauty of finding love can not be compared to being found of love….

To drink no more of this oasis not of mine and remain grateful of its moment of respite…of refreshing and restoring.
Replenished now and not as dry…there is a hope of being found…there is a standard of expectation that has been experienced so believing its possibility creates a hope
Ah! to be found of love…

RefindOne.

Feels like a warring internally.

Want to stay in His present, yet everything around me is

Going crazy!

Want to react! Lash out! (Flesh out!)

But,

I know the Holy Spirit in me will not approve… can NOT APPROVE!

Feel am losing everything… yet, know enough to know it’s for my own good.

It’s just way too painful and hurts so!

…this process needs to move fast.

To forgive. To heal. To become whole. 

Long to be strong again, and put my hands to the plough!

Kingdom work, food for the soul… less I be consumed.

Yet, I am concerned that even then I may not be ready, may not be “good” enough.

Be still (says the whisper)

Trying hard to be is my answer.

But instead, feel like two different people warring in this body… this mind.

I cry, Lord!

Explicit direction!

Clarity of mind!

It is so noisy in my head, can’t hear my heart … or just afraid to?

Be still (says the whisper) 
 

RefinedOne.

My little emo girl.

I asked her what her heart was telling her…

She scribbled this…

The greatest gift

Cannot be unwrapped

It cannot be bought

It cannot be sold

Yet

It can be felt

It can be seen

It can be heard

Because the greatest gift

Is each other

By 8yr old. Sohaila whittaker

How wonderful the day is!

Not because all is well in the world, but its a new day, given to us by the Father.

An excitement of the breaking of a new day, full of joy I am! Not because I have no pressing issues, needs, wants or desires, but because I am home again!

In my Fathers embrace… Loving Him as He’s loving me… O! what joy!

Back to the Father as He rekindles and fans the flames in my heart, rededicating me Spirit, Soul and Body… refreshed to over flowing.

This heart had always loved the Lord, but slowly had been loosing it’s heat, burn, fire…

For out of chaos… a mess…misunderstanding…guilt…shame…anger and pain A beautiful thing is birth.

Home again in the embrace of the Father and the warmth of Kingdom family to be Priest and Royalty.

AMEN!

 RefinedOne.

“Companionship with a lot of laughs”

that was the agreement, our contract, our

Motto…

But you were never mine… that you did not know,(or maybe you did) and wanted to be “Oliver”

for in the shadows

She lay… bewitched, you where by your Jezebel.

Curled up like a fetus

hand of mine to comfort me-these are the only ones to trust.

And I …

“He broke my heart…why did I let him in (was the cry)

Again I find myself in this place of despair…

I gave total…

The fragility of my heart… exposed!

Dropped without a reason.

Never again…

Never again with this heart be opened…not for fear.

No!

But, because none deserves it.

For I am more….